


Soul-bonded

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Bonded [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Apocalypse, Blood Drinking, Canonical Character Death, Multi, Season/Series 05, Some get better, Team Free Will, Zachariah Is Still a Dick, lots of them - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 56,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even with Sam having pulled back from the demon blood, he and his friends still managed to kill Lilith and free Lucifer.  It's the Apocalypse, and Team Free Will has to do the best they can to not only survive, but to save the world.  It ain't easy.</p><p>Rating for language, consensual blood drinking, and consensual sibling incest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Apocalypse Now

**Author's Note:**

> I don't normally like to post things when they're not fully written. And read over obsessively for a few months. But this is a work in progress; I've written through "Point of No Return" (and any minute now I'll stop crying, I swear). I'll leave notes here if I end up going back and significantly altering a chapter, especially if it affects the new chapter.

At the salvage yard, the first thing Sam noticed was the quiet. Then it was Bobby, practically running out the front door to them.

“Heya, Bobby,” Dean said weakly. “We screwed the pooch on this one.”

“Killing Lilith was the absolute wrong thing to do,” Sam explained. “Turns out she was the last seal and that was how Ruby would turn me. Ruby’s dead, by the way.”

“Is she?” Sam turned to stare at Castiel. “I was dead, too, but I got better. Perhaps she was also given a second chance. But we have more important problems right now. We should discuss this inside, however.” The four headed in, gathering around the kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey.

Once the shots were poured, Dean started. “Bobby, we gotta find a way to gank Satan.”

“We will be under attack from both sides,” Castiel said. “Michael and Lucifer want the two of you. You see, they are very powerful beings – perhaps the most powerful in all of Heaven and Hell. And yet, they remain angels, bound by the rules all angels must follow.”

The dots connected for Sam. “They need vessels, and they want us.” Dean had an immediate negative reaction, which Sam agreed with. “That’s why you wanted me to promise to say no. Well, they can just find someone else.”

Castiel shook his head. “It’s not that simple. For a normal angel like me, any vessel can serve, though certain ones may be more comfortable fits. Seraphim must be more particular – because of their greater power, they require stronger vessels, but of the vessels strong enough, they can choose. Archangels, however, are tied to a single bloodline, and there are restrictions even then.”

Dean groaned. “So, let me guess. The Lucifer bloodline is Winchester.”

“Sort of.” Cas said. “The current bearer is a Winchester, yes. But the bloodline passed down from the Campbells. Winchester blood has borne Michael’s blood for seven generations, however. It’s what first drew Heaven’s attention to John Winchester. The blood prefers to pass through men – Michael and Lucifer both prefer male hosts – but Samuel and Mary were both only children, so Mary would have to be the one to pass Lucifer’s bloodline down. Michael being the elder, his bloodline passed to the elder son. Dean, Heaven is seeking you – they call you the Michael Sword. You are his true vessel – the strongest born in two thousand years. Then, a second son was born, and you received Lucifer’s bloodline, Sam. Azazel activated your blood. You were always his favorite, for that very reason. Ruby’s plan would have strengthened you greatly, given Lucifer a much better chance to defeat Michael.”

“So Dean’s Michael, Sam’s Lucifer, and we’re all screwed unless they just keep saying no until we figure out another way to gank Satan,” Bobby summarized. “That about it?”

Castiel nodded grimly. “Yes. Meanwhile, we should get to know Revelations. For all your Bible gets wrong, that book is fairly accurate to the writings known to the angels. I confess, I got so busy trying to avert the Apocalypse I failed to study the signs and omens.”

Bobby cleared his throat. “There a way I can angel-proof this place without lockin’ you out too, Cas?”

It took a minute for Castiel to think. “If I do it myself, using my own blood, the sigils will know me for a friend. It will take a few days, I’m afraid. My blood supply is limited, and I do not wish to needlessly weaken myself or others.”

“Speaking of…” Sam said, looking over to Cas. “Holding Lilith down drained pretty much everything I had, down to Azazel, maybe further. And if I need to keep saying no to Lucifer, then I cannot afford to be hallucinating. I can feel the withdrawal starting, so…”

“Of course. Come along.” He started to head downstairs, but Sam caught his arm and led the way up to the room he usually shared with Dean.

 

Bobby raised an eyebrow at Dean. “The hell’s that about?”

“Remember how we told you about Sam managing to get himself addicted to demon blood?” Dean asked. Bobby nodded. “Turns out, angel blood is almost as good without all the drawbacks. So Cas volunteered himself as Sam’s new Ruby.”

“Huh. Guess I like this one a little better anyway,” Bobby had to admit. “You okay with Sam and Cas?”

“What about ‘em?” Dean asked. “I’m not exactly okay with the blood-drinking, but I’ve seen what happens to Sam if he doesn’t, and he’s right. We can’t afford it.”

Bobby snorted. “Woulda had to drag you out back and beat you if you were okay with the blood. I meant how they seemed like they were plannin’ on getting cozy after Sam gets his fix. You ain’t jealous?”

“Nah,” Dean said, his face shuttering cautiously. “I have no interest in drinking or being drunk. I’ll give them some time before I head up.”

“That ain’t what I meant, ya idjit,” Bobby said with an eyeroll that gave Sam a run for his money. “I meant that you and Sam have always been…”

Dean gave Bobby a genuinely baffled look. “You think me and Sam are fucking?”

“Ain’t you?”

It was funny, sometimes, when strangers made that mistake. But this was Bobby, the man who was like a father to them both. Dean almost wanted to check him for demon possession. “Uh… no. We’re brothers?”

“I know you’re brothers, been looking after the two of you since you were seven,” Bobby said with a snort. “An’ I know that word don’t mean the same thing to you that it does to most people. I know it’s cause your daddy raised you that way, maybe it was the fire, but most brothers past college age see each other for holidays, talk on the phone once a week. If they happen to live in the same town, maybe they have a poker night. You two? You get antsy if four hours go by where you don’t hear from each other. You know who people behave like that with?”

“So we’re close,” Dean said. “That doesn’t mean…” This was too surreal for him.

“Honestly, I thought you had been since that summer you’d broke your collarbone and John and Sam discovered that hunting together without you didn’t work.”

“What the hell, Bobby? You think I… I would molest my little brother like that? Sammy?”

Bobby laughed. “If either of you was gonna get taken advantage of it was you, that was the summer Sam figured out the dewy puppy eyes. You still ain’t got much defense against them now, but back then, you were helpless. Tried to give your daddy a heads’-up when he came to get you. You remember what happened that August.”

Dean remembered all right. He’d been the one to fix up the Impala from the tiny dents and scratches the rock salt had left. “That explains why Dad was so weird about us touching each other after that,” Dean realized. “You know, he started getting onto me about babying Sam when Sam was still really little, but after that summer… it was like if I messed up Sam’s hair when I teased him about needing a haircut, or squeezed his shoulder after stitching him up, it was a federal offense.”

“Sorry, Dean,” Bobby said. “Never meant for you boys to get in trouble. Figured John’d take it better hearin’ from me than catching you two, shoulda known he’d be an ass about it.” He looked over to the stairs. “Think they’ve had enough time?”

“Yeah, probably. I hope.” He started to get up. “Hey, uh, may as well tell you, I guess. Me and Sam are both with Cas. Things kinda got decided in the Impala on the way to Ilchester.”

“Then what the hell you still talkin’ to me for?” Bobby asked, pouring himself another shot. “Get up there with your boys, idjit.”

 

Sam drew his blade as Castiel found the bandaging and stripped to the waist. “Where am I cutting?”

“Wherever you like,” Cas said with a shrug. “We have time, quick drainage is not an issue, but I admit I rather liked having you on my shoulder.”

“Hmmm.” Sam took some time to look at Castiel, thinking it over. Finally, he cut along the angel’s left bicep, pulling Castiel into his lap. All too soon, he was reaching for the tape and gauze to wrap up the cut. “Thanks, Cas,” he said as he got to work.

“Of course,” Castiel said with a small smile.

As Sam was finishing up, Dean came in. “Hey, Sammy. You good?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Sam said, backing away from Castiel to let Dean take over cuddle territory. 

Dean was quick on the uptake, but he caught Sam by the wrist to keep him from leaving entirely. “Hey. We get caught up in fairness or turns or whatever, we’ll drive each other crazy and start getting into resentment. You two have your blood thing, you and me are in each other’s pockets when we’re out on cases. I’m sure there’ll be times when you’re busy or not in the mood or whatever. But when all of us are here, no sense holding out just because you’re worried about equal time or whatever.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like someone got a shot of enthusiasm somewhere,” he teased. “And somehow got smart about unconventional relationships.”

Dean blushed a little and looked away. “Yeah, uh, I may have stolen it from Dr. Sexy,” he admitted, causing Sam to chuckle. “And, well… remember when Dad and Bobby got into that fight and Dad said we were never going back?”

“Yeah. Good times,” Sam said sarcastically.

“And remember how weird Dad got after that? Not that he was ever able to actually stop us from touching each other all the friggin’ time, we just learned to hide it.”

Sam snorted. “Yeah, and the first week of school I was in the guidance office plotting my escape to Stanford. I mean, it wasn’t Stanford yet, just college, but I couldn’t live like that.”

“That’s when you began to pray that your father’s hunts would keep him away for weeks,” Castiel realized. “Unless he took Dean with him, in which case you asked for a speedy and safe return.”

Dean squeezed Sam’s arm. “Bobby finally told me what happened. Apparently he’d gotten the impression we were screwing and he didn’t want Dad to kill us when he caught us.”

“What? Seriously?” Sam asked, jaw dropping. “He didn’t try to, y’know, stop us? I was fifteen!”

“Yeah, but you were stubborn and he knows damn well I’d never hurt you,” Dean said with a shrug. “So, y’know. Point is, we wouldn’t have to hide from Bobby. Cas obviously doesn’t care. Only other people I really give a damn what they think are Ellen and Jo. And honestly? Since you put the idea in my head, I can’t get it out.”

“Me either,” Sam admitted.


	2. The First Horseman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean head out to investigate a demon infestation in Colorado, where they run into some familiar faces.

The four bunkered down, reading and re-reading Revelations, kicking around ideas for what the symbolic imagery might actually translate to. Bobby put out calls to every researcher, hunter, and Biblical scholar he knew and could trust with this. After one phone call, Bobby came in to where Sam and Cas were, nominally anyway, working through a couple of obscure translations. In reality, Sam was taking a blood break.

Bobby tried to back out, but Castiel had seen him. “Is there something happening?” he asked.

“Yeah, uh, few days back Rufus went to investigate some possible omens out in Colorado,” Bobby said. “Just managed to get hold of ‘im, and he says the town’s overrun with demons. Figured I’d get the boys to check it out, back him up.”

Castiel nodded. “You and Dean should go, Sam.” Sam squeezed Castiel’s shoulder. “Sam agrees; he’ll collect Dean if Dean’s not back soon. Should I go with them or do you need me here?”

“Need you here helping me make sense of things. The boys can call if they need you, right?”

“Yes.” Bobby left quickly, and Cas reached up to touch Sam’s arm. “Take a bit more than usual; if you’re surrounded by demons, the temptation will be that much stronger. Call me if you get overwhelmed.”

 

When Sam and Dean got to River Pass, Colorado, the bridge was out. The town seemed to be deserted, although Sam figured that probably had something to do with the demon infestation. As they walked, Sam could hear the music playing, and was relieved to find it was just a car that had been left running. It couldn’t have been abandoned too long ago, not if it still had gas.

Dean paused for a sec and whistled. Sam turned to look and saw him staring at a red Mustang. Dean shrugged apologetically as he walked on. They investigated a few more overturned cars, until they heard the distinctive click of a gun behind them. “Hello, boys,” a very familiar voice said. They turned and Sam felt a wave of relief when he recognized Ellen. The relief vanished when she threw holy water in Dean’s face, and led them to a church shut down tight against demons.

Once they were in the church, though, Ellen’s wariness vanished and she threw her arms around Dean. This was followed by a fairly hard slap, which Sam forgave her for the instant she explained. “I gotta find out you’re alive from _Bobby_?” She gave them the well-deserved tongue-lashing before explaining what was going on. She’d rigged up a shelter with the few surviving non-demons. She and Jo had come to back up Rufus, and Jo got lost.

Sam and Dean went on a supply run to get what they needed to make a run for it with the innocents, splitting up to go faster. Dean went for the guns while Sam went for salt. As he was loading rock salt into a bag, the door chimed. Two demons. Great, just what Sam needed right now. Especially with his gun not in easy reach.

Thankfully, he had the knife, and the two demons didn’t seem to be very strong. They were easy to kill, and Sam dropped them in a puddle of their own blood.

Demon blood.

The scent was nearly overwhelming, and Sam stared at the knife in a mixture of horror and want. He forced the knife down, away from him, as he heard the door chime again. Dean came around the corner. “Sammy?”

“Get me out of here. Now,” Sam ordered. Dean grabbed his arm and hauled him outside. Sam took a few deep breaths before handing Dean the knife. Dean seemed to understand, and he wiped it off for his brother. Sam put it away. “Thanks, Dean. I swear, I didn’t touch any of it, but I wanted to. I wanted to drink.”

“Thought that’s why you were still drinking from Cas,” Dean said.

“So did I. Dean, don’t let me go off on my own, okay?” Dean nodded and handed Sam the bag of salt to carry.

 

The world’s fastest gun-training session later, Ellen was ready to head out to look for Jo before they took the civilians and ran. “I’ll go with you,” Sam offered.

Dean took him out into the hall. “Are you sure about this, Sammy?”

“Someone’s got to go with Ellen, and someone’s got to stay here in case we don’t make it back. You’re the one people look to as a leader, they’ll follow you, and it doesn’t leave me isolated and the only properly trained hunter between a demon army and a bunch of civilians,” Sam said. “Dean, I won’t be alone, I’ll be with Ellen. I’ll… give her the cliff notes version while we’re looking. Good enough?”

Dean hesitated, staring hard into Sam’s eyes, but nodded. “Good enough. Just be careful, okay?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Sam said. He started to reach out to hug Dean, but stopped and changed it to a clap on the shoulder as he remembered the room full of people.

They hadn’t really gone three steps before Ellen brought it up. “So what’s up with you and Dean?”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, not quite sure where Ellen was going with this.

“You boys were always close, but you weren’t exactly the clingy type,” Ellen said. “I could see on his face that he does not want to let you out of his sight.”

Sam breathed a quick sigh of relief. This part was easy enough to explain away without having to give too many details that he wasn’t quite sure Ellen would understand the way Bobby did. “The full story can wait, but the short version is that demon blood is heroin, I got started when Dean was dead and I didn’t give a crap anymore, and even though I’m on the methadone for it I don’t trust myself to be around it without someone to knock some sense back into me if I start slipping.”

Ellen stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t be serious,” she eventually managed to say. “You better come out of this alive, because there is no way you’re not telling me the whole story the second we have the time.”

“What about you and Jo?” Sam asked to change the subject. “You always said she’d never be able to hack the life.”

“She can’t,” Ellen said. “But if she’s gonna do it anyway…”

“You want to be there to keep an eye on her,” Sam finished. “I get that. Some advice, though? Don’t push too hard on it. One of my biggest frustrations hunting with Dean is that sometimes he treats me like I’m still a kid.” He stopped, staring ahead, and pointed out the smoke rising above some trees.

As they checked out the house, they were jumped. “Ellen! Run!” Sam shouted, once Ellen had managed to fight off a demon-possessed Jo. Something hit Sam from behind, and once he saw Ellen running off, he turned to find demon-possessed Rufus.

When he woke up, Jo and Rufus were trying to exorcise him. Sam watched in confusion, but when he saw the devil’s trap he was sitting under, he realized: there were no demons. Something or someone was making people see demons.

That someone made himself known while Jo and Rufus were off trying to figure out why their exorcism wasn’t working. “Save your protests for your brother, Sammy, I can see inside your mind. Blood, blood, blood. Lust, for power. You want to be strong again.”

“You’re wrong,” Sam said. “I am strong. This explains so much, why my attempt at exorcism didn’t work, why my powers did nothing. I will get through to Jo and Rufus, and I will stop you. And your three siblings. You just happen to be first, War.”

 

When Ellen returned alone, Dean’s first instinct was to take off and find Sam and drag his ass back. He stopped and turned back when he realized that something was wrong. It didn’t take long to put the hints together. War had come, and there were no demons at all. That lasted until Roger came back. Dean put it together just a bit too late, and he and Ellen made a run for it.

Ellen led them back to the house where the other hunters were. Ellen convinced Jo of the truth, while Dean took on Rufus. They had just gotten together to start making a plan when the townspeople attacked. Dean went up to get Sam, and the two made a run for the Mustang. They found War there, and cut his ring from his hand. “So… pit stop on Mount Doom?” Dean joked. Sam laughed.

 

They said goodbye to Rufus, but Ellen and Jo insisted on coming with them to Bobby’s. “If this is the Apocalypse, you guys need all the help you can get,” Jo insisted.

“Besides, Sam there still owes me a full story,” Ellen said from her truck. “How in the hell did you get yourself in this mess?”

Dean swallowed. “Sammy, why don’t you ride with them, tell them the story on the way. Ellen, afterwards, if you’re gonna kick Sam out and turn around…”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I’ll call Cas and he can come get me, Dean. Ellen may kick me out, but she’s not gonna raid my pockets for loose change or steal my cell phone.”

“I ain’t kicking you out, boy,” Ellen said. “What on earth did you _do_?” Sam swung into the truck beside Jo and started the long story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of Cas! I hope having Ellen and Jo around will make up for it.


	3. Meg Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas calls with an emergency for the boys to handle. It ends... poorly.

By Nebraska, Dean was exhausted and couldn’t ignore the apprehension about what was happening in the other car anymore. He pulled off in Ogallala and found a motel.

Ellen’s truck pulled in right behind him. Apparently the woman was just as crazy a driver as he was, he noted idly. Sam slid out and walked over to Dean, Ellen and Jo close behind. “Dean Winchester, you’re an idiot. You think I hadn’t already heard the grapevine about Sam? I knew there had to be more to the story, and Sam told me everything.”

“Everything?” Dean said, risking a look at Sam.

“Everything,” Sam confirmed.

Jo laughed. “We’d already heard that one, too, you know. That one’s been going around for years, at least since you sold your soul for him, Dean. Mom and I decided a long time ago that we don’t care.”

“Cas, Bobby, Ellen and Jo, half the motel clerks we’ve spoken to… why were we the last ones to see it?” Sam asked, not quite hiding a smirk.

Jo grinned. “Probably because you’re both idiots.”

“You’re an idiot,” Dean grumbled as he reached for his ringing phone. “What?” A look of exhaustion came over him as he listened. “Yeah, of course, we’re on our way, even bringing extra backup on this one. Where we meeting you?” Dean listened for a minute. “This ain’t your fault, whatever this is. Parking lot of the Cornhusk Motel in Ogallala.”

Seconds later, Castiel appeared. “Cas! What’s going on?” Sam asked, suddenly very worried.

“I…” Castiel looked hesitantly at the Harvelles.

“Ellen Harvelle, my daughter Jo, Sam’s told us all about you and the Apocalypse and all.” Ellen nodded. “You can talk in front of us.”

Sam nodded, so Castiel continued. “Bobby went into town this morning to get some food. An hour ago, he called and said he was going to meet up with you in Omaha, and that you two said I shouldn’t come.”

“Wha… what’s in Omaha?” Dean demanded. “And don’t say Bobby. We got that part.”

“And why shouldn’t you come?” Sam asked.

Castiel just shook his head. “I don’t know. I went into town and had a look around, and I could smell demon. Not there presently but in the past day.”

“You’re thinkin’ demons got Bobby,” Ellen said, and Cas nodded. “Guess there’s nothing else to do but head for Omaha, then.” Ellen tossed Jo the truck keys and climbed into the back seat.

“Jo, you and Ellen don’t have to come, you’ve gotta be tired,” Sam offered.

Jo just laughed. “You try keeping Mom away when she knows Bobby’s in trouble. It won’t happen, so don’t even try.”

“I’m flying to Omaha. I’ll try to pinpoint his location for you.” He handed Sam a vial, which was filled with blood. “I wish we had time to do it normally.”

“Thanks, Cas,” Sam said, slipping it into his pocket. Castiel disappeared, and Sam held out his hand for the keys. Dean gave him a look. “You’re exhausted, I’m not in withdrawal yet, let me drive so you can get some sleep.”

 

When they reached Omaha, Dean called Castiel for more specific directions. Cas directed them to a warehouse on the outskirts of town. “Demons are in there, but I can’t tell you anything more. It’s warded against angels.”

“Of course it is,” Dean observed.

Sam pulled the vial of blood out and drank it. “Dean and I have angel blades. Ellen, why don’t you take mine and Jo take the knife. I’ll get Bobby and I can use my powers if I have to.” He handed the women the blades. All four armed up with holy water, as well.

“Good luck,” Castiel said, drawing his own blade and taking up a position near the door, prepared for any demons who tried to flee.

Inside, they quickly realized they would have a serious problem. Bobby sat against a table, idly flipping a knife in one hand. “Heya, boys, what took you so long? Didja miss me? And Jo, how nice to see you again.”

“Meg,” Sam realized.

“The one and only,” Meg-Bobby purred. “Not my preference in hosts, but… I do so enjoy the look on your faces right now. Totally worth it.”

Sam began the exorcism chant, and Meg’s henchmen ran at him. Dean and Jo got in the way, while Ellen went after Meg. By the time Sam completed the chant, only two of the four henchmen were alive to be exorcised, and all four meatsuits lay dead on the floor.

“Bobby, you hear me, just hang in there,” Ellen said as she and Meg squared off. She reached out and grabbed Meg-Bobby’s arm, shoving the sleeve up to look for the binding sigil. Meg threw her a few feet back easily enough.

“You’ll never find it,” Meg said as Ellen went for the other arm. This time, Meg threw her to the ground and quickly sat straddling the older woman. Meg claimed the blade, punching Ellen a couple times before raising the blade high.

“Mom!” Jo screamed, running toward Meg and Ellen.

Meg-Bobby hesitated, and then the blade flashed downward. Black smoke poured from Bobby’s mouth as the blade went through the hunter’s belly. Jo pulled him off of Ellen before he could collapse.

Dean and Sam carefully lifted Bobby. “Nice going, old man,” Dean said. “Couldn’t have gone for something less dramatic?”

“Idjit,” Bobby gasped. “Just get me to a hospital. Or Cas.”

“How about both,” Sam said. Jo ran ahead to get the door open for the boys, and they carried him to the Impala. “Cas, can you help him?”

Castiel reached out, touching Bobby’s forehead with two fingers. “I’m sorry. I can’t fix it. My abilities are much more limited now. He’s stable enough that he’ll live to get to the hospital, but that’s about all I can do.”

“Well then, no time to waste,” Dean said, sliding behind the wheel. “Come on, Sam.”

“May as well ride with us, Cas,” Ellen said as she got into her truck. Cas nodded absently, lost in thought.

 

At the hospital, Ellen took charge of Bobby’s admission, getting herself listed as his wife and Jo, Dean, and Sam listed as their kids. Once Bobby was in surgery, Castiel pulled the Winchesters into an empty exam room.

“I’ve been thinking of ways to stop the Apocalypse,” he started.

“No kidding,” Dean said. “Here we thought you were trying to figure out the plot of _Lost_.”

“What… never mind,” Castiel said. “I have two ideas that may be useful, but they will be difficult. There are very few beings who can handle an archangel: our father, and another archangel. If Raphael objected to the plan, he would have done something by now, but Gabriel departed Heaven a long time ago to live on Earth. And God has disappeared, but we believe he came here as well. If I can find one of them…”

“You think they’d help us?” Dean asked skeptically.

“I won’t know for sure unless I find them and ask,” Castiel said. “But Gabriel has made Earth his home for over a millennium, he might be interested in preserving it. And humanity is God’s favorite. I can’t accept that He would overlook their need here.”

Sam nodded. “I don’t have any better ideas, other than finding some way to kill Lucifer. It’s worth a try, Dean.”

“You gonna be okay? We can’t go with you on this one,” Dean said. 

“I know.” Castiel looked between the two. “I truly hate to ask this of you, Dean, but there is a way you can help. There’s an artifact that becomes warm in the presence of God. An amulet.”

Dean looked blank for a minute, but then realized what Castiel meant. “Cas… I can’t…”

“Yes, you can,” Sam said quietly. “It’s okay, Dean.”

With great reluctance, Dean slipped his necklace over his head and held it out to Castiel. “Don’t you dare lose it,” he said as he let it fall into the angel’s hand.

“Of course,” Castiel said. “Thank you. Both of you.” He kissed both Winchesters and flew away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I very nearly accidentally posted chapter 4 instead of this. Whoops. Bonus: y'all get two chapters today since I'd already done the reformatting and last-second revisions and didn't want to do it again.
> 
> Enjoy!


	4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam dreams Lucifer, and Castiel goes up against a powerful foe with Dean's help.

A couple days later, Bobby was released from the hospital. The first night back at Bobby’s house, Sam tossed and turned on his couch, until he opened his eyes and saw Lucifer sitting in a chair staring at him. “How are you here?” he demanded.

“Oh, relax, Sam, you’re asleep,” Lucifer said dismissively. “I don’t know where you’re seeing us. I’m seeing an office building in Detroit, because that’s where I am. I don’t suppose you care to tell me where you are?”

“I know what you want from me,” Sam said, calming himself down. “And you’re not getting it, so get out of my dreams.”

“Oh, come now, Sam,” Lucifer said, voice soft and kind. “I just want to talk to you. For now, anyway. See, you’re only getting Heaven’s side of the story, I just want a chance to tell mine.”

“Doesn’t matter whose side of the story I get, if I give you what you want, you’ll destroy my world and everyone in it,” Sam snapped.

Lucifer shrugged. “I don’t have to destroy _everyone_ ,” he said. “I can spare your friends. Dean, well, that would be problematic, and I’m sorry. I wish I could spare Dean for you.” He leaned forward. “Do you know why my brother cast me aside, threw me from Heaven to endure torment in Hell? My only crime was that I loved God too much.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “That’s supposed to make it better that you hate humans? Sorry, Lucifer, but I don’t care.”

“No, but you will,” Lucifer said. “When your own brother casts you aside, throws you away as useless because he thinks you’re weak, you’ll understand. You’ll be glad to say yes, then.”

That got a raised eyebrow from Sam. “Dean’s not gonna cast me aside. Sure, I may be weak, but I’m even weaker without him and he knows it.”

“It’ll happen,” Lucifer promised. “Sam, you’ve been lied to over and over, by everyone who claims to care about you. Your father lied to you, your brother lied to you, Castiel lied to you, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, even Jessica. I’m not going to lie to you, Sam. Not ever. I don’t have to.” Sam shook his head, but Lucifer just smiled. “You’ll see. You’ll start to see it soon, your brother pulling away. Castiel… well, I barely knew him, he was still young when I was thrown out. I don’t know which way he’ll go. But if I were you I wouldn’t count too much on an angel who turned against his kind – and I should know just how reliable we are,” he added with an ironic smirk. “Good night, Sam, I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.” Lucifer disappeared and Sam woke up with a gasp.

Castiel showed up only a minute or two later. “Sam. I felt your distress. What’s wrong?”

“Lucifer, in my dreams,” Sam got out through still-hard breathing. “He says you and Dean are gonna pull away from me, and when that happens I’m gonna say yes.”

Cas’s arms came around Sam. “Dean and I aren’t going anywhere,” he promised. “Although I did come to ask Dean for help with something.”

That stung a little. “Only Dean?”

Castiel shrugged. “I’m sorry. I’m planning on summoning Raphael and asking him what he knows about God’s location. Raphael won’t touch Dean; he’s too loyal to Michael. But if he could do something to Lucifer’s vessel…”

“Yeah, I guess I see your point,” Sam admitted, running a hand through his hair.

Dean came in then. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Lucifer’s trying to convince me you’re going to throw me away and Cas needs help summoning Raphael,” Sam summarized.

“Raphael,” Dean repeated. “Wasn't he the reason you wouldn't help me save Sam from fiery demonic passion, he'd have killed you if you met him?”

“Yes. Which is why I’m asking for your help.” Castiel stood up. “I have a plan to trap him, but I need someone else to help set it up, and you are the only one whose life I would not be endangering.”

“So I’m your bullet shield,” Dean snarked.

“Yes.”

Dean shook his head. “All right, where is he?”

“Maine.”

Dean looked to Sam. “You gonna be okay, Sammy?”

Sam forced a quick smile. “Yeah, you two have fun. Cas is right, I can’t go anywhere near Raphael, I’ll stay here to help Bobby with the research and modifying the house for a wheelchair.” He walked out to the car with them, watching as they drove off and trying not to think of Lucifer’s words.

 

The drive to Maine was long, and mostly quiet. “So Sammy’s dreaming Lucifer?” Dean finally asked as they crossed the state line into New York.

“It would seem that way,” Castiel said. “You may find your dreams visited by Michael, although that’s not really his style. He’s far more straightforward.”

“This something we need to be worrying about?” Dean asked. “Lucifer keeps screwing with Sam’s head, he gonna be okay?”

Castiel stared out the window. “I don’t know. Lucifer is already trying to weaken his bonds to us, and if he succeeds, then yes, I believe Sam will be vulnerable. We just have to make sure that Sam has no reason to doubt us.”

“Bang-up job so far,” Dean observed. “Lucifer’s timing is…”

“I am aware,” Castiel said. “If I didn’t believe that time was of the essence, I would have delayed this as soon as Sam told me.”

 

Cas explained the plan – there was a deputy sheriff who had seen Raphael, and they would get his location from him. Dean insisted that he take the lead when they got to the police station. Which turned out to be a very good thing, as Dean had to hold back the laughter when Castiel failed to realize that mentioning angels and demons was exactly what they were trying to avoid doing.

The lead took them to Saint Peter’s Mental Hospital, where they saw a man who appeared to have nothing going on in his brain. “I take it that’s not Raphael anymore,” Dean snarked.

“No, just an empty vessel,” Castiel said. “Another reason for you and Sam to hold out: Michael and Lucifer are far more powerful than Raphael.”

“How come this didn’t happen to Jimmy when you got yanked out?” Dean asked.

Castiel shrugged. “I had enough warning to alert Sam and set up protections, and I am nowhere near as powerful as Raphael. There are ways to avoid this. Raphael apparently didn’t see the need to bother.”

Dean made a face, but let Castiel explain the next part of the plan. They found an abandoned house on the outskirts of town, and Dean set up basic protections while Cas disappeared.

“Jerusalem,” he explained when he got back with a stone ewer. “It’s a very special, very rare oil. We need it for the trap.” Castiel had to admit that this trap was going to be incredibly difficult to pull off, and that he was most likely dead come morning.

“So, last night on Earth. What are you gonna do?” Dean asked.

“Go back to South Dakota for a bit before it gets too late, and then just sit here quietly,” Castiel said. “Say goodbye to you and Sam.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Dean said. “Go to Sam. Tell him I wish he were here with us.”

 

The flutter of wings had Sam dropping his book. “Cas! Where’s Dean?”

“In Maine, still,” Castiel said. “We’re performing a ritual at sunrise, and while Dean will be perfectly fine, there’s a good chance that I might end up dead. If this is to be my last night alive, I want to spend part of it with you.”

Sam swallowed hard. “Are you sure about doing this? If you die, what good does having the information do you?”

“Dean will have it, and the two of you can, perhaps, finish my quest,” Castiel said. “I have to try, Sam. This Apocalypse, it’s our fault, we need to put it right.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam said sadly. “Just… try not to die, okay? We need you, Cas.”

“I know. You especially.” He held out his blade to Sam.

Sam shoved it away. “Cas, if you die, I’m gonna have to go through withdrawal sooner or later. The few days you could buy me tonight aren’t going to make that much of a difference and I’d never forgive myself, never stop wondering if bleeding you was the reason you didn’t make it out. Hit me again tomorrow, okay?” Castiel nodded, accepting Sam’s reasoning, and Sam led him upstairs.

 

When Castiel returned to Maine, Dean was dozing at the table. He woke up at the sound of wings. “Sammy good?”

“As well as can be expected,” Castiel said. “He asked me to inform you that if you fail at being a bullet shield, he will kick your ass.”

Dean laughed. “Sounds like Sam. That is gonna be one long-ass drive back to South Dakota, so don’t put me in that position, huh?”

“You and Sam both seem to think my plan is to die,” Castiel said. “I have no intention of it. I’m simply being realistic about my chances.”

“I know. I’m sure as hell not just gonna let you get killed, but not really sure what I can do against an archangel. Now come on, I’m not sayin’ goodbye to you in here.” Dean caught Cas’s hand and led the angel out to the Impala.

 

Come pre-dawn, Castiel and Dean went to Raphael’s vessel’s room at the mental hospital. Castiel explained the oil. “When it burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies. Vessel or no.” He leaned down beside the vessel and said something in Enochian. “I’m here, Raphael. Come and get me, you little bastard.”

They waited all day, but Raphael didn’t show. Eventually, they had to leave, returning to the abandoned house from the night before. Raphael was there waiting for them, and electricity crackled out of his vessel like wings, blacking out the neighborhood or – if Raphael could be trusted – the entire eastern seaboard.

Dean was not at all impressed by Raphael. Sure, he talked big, threatening to smite Cas and take Dean to Michael, but he let himself be taunted into a circle of holy oil. “We knew you were coming, you stupid son of a bitch,” Dean said as he dropped the Zeppo.

Raphael tried to claim that God was dead, but Castiel wasn’t having it. Even when Raphael suggested Lucifer had been the one to bring Cas back. Raphael tried to justify starting the Apocalypse, but it sounded to Dean like a whiny brat trying to justify stupid teenage pranks while Daddy was gone. He was proud when Castiel walked out without hesitating, leaving Raphael trapped despite his threats. Especially when Castiel turned around for a parting shot. “Today, you’re my little bitch.”

As soon as they were in the car pointed west, Castiel called Sam. “It’s finished. Dean and I are both okay, although Raphael is now a personal enemy of mine, I believe.” Sam’s relief was obvious, and Cas continued, “We’re on our way back to you. Any further visits from Lucifer?” This time, it was Castiel’s relief that told Dean Sam’s answer. “Dean will be there as soon as he can; I believe I promised you some blood today. See you soon.”

“You taking off, then?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. “Sam needs me. And then, I suppose, I’ll be heading out to look for another lead.”

“Yeah. Good luck.” Cas disappeared, and Dean let out a long breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it can be kinda funny when I read over this. I very nearly had a glaring mistake: Raphael never killed Cas, not in this 'verse.


	5. In Which Zachariah Shows Once Again that He Is A Great Big Bag of Dicks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I... think I pretty much said it all in the title? Fine.  
> Zachariah shows Dean the consequences of continuing to defy Michael. Dean has no craps to give about it.

About the time he crossed into Ohio, Dean was forced to admit defeat. As soon as he’d checked into a motel in Cleveland, he called Sam. “Hey, Sammy.”

“Dean?” Sam said, pleased to hear from him. “How you doing?”

Dean sighed. “I’m exhausted, Sammy. Stopped to get some sleep. Didn’t want you worrying about me when I didn’t get back as quickly as expected.”

Sam sounded disappointed, which Dean certainly couldn’t blame him for. “Yeah… rather have you back a few hours late than a few days late because you fell asleep and ran the Impala off the road or something. Love you.”

“Love you too, Sammy.” Dean hung up and passed out on the bed.

 

When he woke up, it was to a very different motel room, although it was also pretty much the same. The difference was in the obvious neglect, as though it had been years since anyone had been in there. He looked out the window, to find the entire city of Cleveland in much the same condition. Debris was everywhere, windows broken, the streets deserted. Everywhere he looked, the story was the same, until he came across a little girl. After fighting off the attack, that’s when he noticed it: CROATOAN graffitied on a wall.

There wasn’t time to ponder the situation as a group of men came through the alley. Dean ran. He was saved by the military, so he hid from his rescuers as well as the attackers. Once night had fallen, he crawled out to find that it was 2014. No cell phone service, no radio… fortunately he was able to hotwire a car.

“President Palin defends bombing of Houston,” a voice came, and Dean glared. Zachariah. He’d kinda figured this was the work of the world’s most annoying angel. He’d found Dean through a Bible freak at the motel who’d been preaching about the Rapture. At the time, Dean had found it mildly amusing when the man asked if he’d contemplated his place in God’s plan.

Now he was just pissed. “Send me back, you son of a bitch.”

“Oh, you’ll get back – all in good time,” Zachariah promised. “Three days to see where your course of action leads, to learn that your choices have consequences. This is what happens if you continue to say no to Michael.”

When he finally got to Bobby’s, he wasn’t prepared for the wrench of finding Bobby’s chair bullethole-riddled and empty. He found a picture in the journal, leading him to Camp Chitaqua. It was weird, seeing that picture – neither he nor Sam were in it, but Bobby was, and Cas. Cas dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, holding a shotgun. That had to be the weirdest thing he’d seen in 2014. Another gut punch was waiting for him at the camp – his baby, rusted out and windows broken, half-covered in weeds. As he was investigating, someone snuck up behind him and punched him out.

He awakened to find himself handcuffed, and staring at… himself. “What the hell?” The other him needed convincing, and he wasn’t surprised to learn that he’d been thoroughly frisked and tested while he was out. But when he heard Zachariah, the other Dean suddenly became a lot less skeptical.

Not entirely, of course. Dean would’ve had to hurt himself if he’d lost the skepticism entirely. “If you’re me, then tell me something only I would know.”

There were a lot of things he could say. But every single one that came to mind involved at least one other person, until… “Rhonda Hurley,” he finally remembered. Sure, Rhonda would know about the pink, satiny panties. But… “And we kinda liked it.” First time he’d ever admitted it.

“Touché.” The future Dean went back to his weapons as he explained the Croatoan virus’s spread.

“Where’s Sam?” Dean asked.

Future Dean went still. “Heavyweight showdown in Detroit,” he finally said. “From what I understand, Sam didn’t make it. Me and Sam, we haven’t talked in… about four, four and a half years, I guess.”

“Why the hell not?” Dean asked, dying a little inside and wanting to kill his future self.

“You know about the Horsemen, right? We ran into Famine, Sam couldn’t hold out. Got back on the demon blood, wouldn’t let Cas help him. We cut ties after that. I got other people to worry about.” Future Dean took off, leaving Dean handcuffed and scared.

Not too scared to work on breaking free, of course. Of course, once he was out, he almost immediately wished he wasn’t as he was approached by Chuck Shurley wanting to go over the camp supplies. What, was Dean in charge of this place? And then he was getting attacked by some chick for being in some other chick’s cabin, which, okay, that did sound like him. At least, if Sam and Cas were gone, but he didn’t think Cas was. He had to find Cas.

Finding Cas turned out to be a surprisingly bad idea. Cas was obviously high and surrounded by women, spouting nonsense and encouraging them to wash up for the orgy as he conferred with their “Fearless Leader”. “What are you, some kind of hippie?”

“I thought you’d gotten over trying to label me,” Cas said. He also explained that he couldn’t help, that he was pretty much powerless and generally stoned. Dean was going to ask for details, but he heard the sound of vehicles coming back. Upon investigating, he watched Future Dean toss a man a beer and then pull a gun on him. Despite Dean’s warning, Future Dean was able to get a bullet in as well, and now the other two men had seen him. And apparently Future Dean was as bad as John about need-to-know.

There was at least a good explanation for Future Dean killing a man in cold blood, as the man was infected with the Croatoan virus. And then Future Dean showed him what he’d been after. “The Colt?”

“The Colt,” Future Dean confirmed. “Took me five years, but I got it. And tonight? Tonight, I’m gonna kill the devil.”

Well, okay then. Future Dean gathered the team for a planning meeting. He knew where Lucifer was from torturing a demon, and Cas laughed when Dean objected to the torture part. Still, Cas was going to follow Future Dean’s plan of just driving up and shooting the devil despite thinking it was reckless, or at least insouciant. But he raised a good point: why was Dean going?

“I want you to see our brother,” Future Dean explained.

“Sam?” Dean didn’t understand. “I thought he was dead.”

“Sam didn’t die in Detroit,” Future Dean said with a glare. “He said yes.” Sam let Lucifer have him, and Future Dean didn’t even know why he’d do that. Now, Future Dean had the Colt, and was on his way to kill Sam. And he wanted Dean along, so that Dean would say yes to Michael in 2009.

“There’s gotta be another way,” Dean said, completely shaken now.

“That’s what I thought, too,” Future Dean said. “But I was wrong.” Even so, Future Dean knew that Dean wouldn’t say yes. Couldn’t.

 

On the way to Lucifer, Dean rode with Cas. “What the hell happened to us, Cas?”

“We lost Sam to the demon blood,” Cas said as he threw back some amphetamines. “Sam held out for a couple years on his own, embraced the Boy King stuff Azazel wanted him to do, but then he went to Detroit for the showdown. And Sam said yes. You blamed me for us losing Sam, which is only fair, I did too. As I gradually lost my powers, you lost your hope, and you and I just kind of… fell apart. You went back to your womanizing, and I started my meditation orgies.”

“But you’re still here, following him on a mission that’s probably gonna get you killed,” Dean said. “

“He’s still you, admittedly without the parts I loved,” Cas said. “I’m a soldier, Dean, I need a general to follow. You’re a natural leader and when I rebelled, I pledged myself to your service. He still gives orders, I still follow them.

“Okay, but what’s with the drugs and the orgies and the mystic bullcrap?” Dean asked.

“When the angels left, I lost what little power remained to me. I’m pretty much useless now, as good as human. So why not bury the pain under a pile of drugs and women and decadence? It’s the end, baby, that’s what decadence is for. But then, that’s just how I roll.” And this became officially too weird for Dean to accept.

Even harder to accept was the idea that Future Dean was just going to feed his friends to a meat grinder as a decoy for the Deans to go in through the back. Even Cas. Dean did not understand how he could get to a point where he would be willing to sacrifice Cas for anything, even a chance at killing Lucifer. Cas and Sam. He went to go warn the others, but Future Dean knocked him out.

When he woke up, it was too late. The others were in the building. Dean ran around back, just in time to see Lucifer break Future Dean’s neck with his foot. “Oh. Hello, Dean.” Lucifer talked to him, and if this is how Lucifer talked to Sam, well, he was in for a world of trouble. Lucifer insisted on telling his side of the story, and it was a load of crap of course. “God had Michael – my brother, the one I loved above all others – Michael cast me into Hell. I ask you, does the punishment fit the crime? And I thought Michael would refuse, I thought Michael loved me as much as I loved him, but he didn’t. He obeyed our Father’s command, and I was cast out. Just as Sam thought you loved him, but when your angel said to cast him aside because of one mistake, you did. And I know you want to kill me, but I also know… you won’t give in. You won’t say yes to Michael. You won’t kill yourself, and you won’t kill Sam. It doesn’t matter what details you change, what mild alterations you make… we will always end up here. I win.” Lucifer disappeared, and Dean was left standing, staring, trying to forget the sight of his brother dressed like a pimp with Lucifer riding him around.

He turned around, and suddenly was back in his motel room in Cleveland. Zachariah was there, and Dean just laughed in his face. “I learned my lesson, all right, it just wasn’t the one you wanted to teach.” Zachariah was reaching to teach him again, when he disappeared.

 

Sam was pacing the salvage yard, frantically alternating between calling Dean and calling Cas. Finally, he was able to get through to the angel. “Oh, thank God, Cas, where the hell have you been?”

“Underneath Jerusalem,” Castiel said. “No cell phone reception. What’s wrong?”

“Dean hasn’t made it back from Maine yet, and he won’t answer his phone either,” Sam said, trying to control the tears.

“You’re at Bobby’s?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” Sam hadn’t made it through the question before he could hear the tinny echo. He turned around just in time for Cas to throw his arms around him.

“I’ll search every mile between Maine and Sioux Falls for him,” Cas promised. “As far as I knew, Dean planned to come straight to you. Something has to have happened to him.”

“He called from Cleveland and said he was gonna stop and get some sleep, but that was hours ago,” Sam said. “Even if he actually slept for eight hours and took another hour or two to eat, he should’ve been here by now.”

“Then I’ll start searching in Cleveland,” Castiel said. “Did he mention where he was staying?”

“No, damn him,” Sam said. “Cas, you gotta find him, please.”

“I will,” Castiel promised, reaching up to touch Sam’s face. “Keep calling him; if I find him I won’t bother calling, just bring him here.”

 

Dean found himself on the side of the road along some highway somewhere. He turned around. “Castiel! Oh, your timing is perfect.”

“You failed to get to Sam,” Castiel said. “When I sensed Zachariah, I knew where to find you.”

“You are wonderful,” Dean said gratefully. He looked at Castiel, seeing the little things that he’d failed to appreciate before. “Don’t ever change. Now get me to Sammy.”

Castiel complied nearly immediately, and Dean practically threw himself at his brother. “I am so sorry, Sammy, Zachariah got hold of me and tried to get me to say yes. You gotta believe I’d have called and let you know what was up if I could’ve.”

“Uh, yeah, Dean, what the hell happened to you?” Sam asked. “You’re not normally this… demonstrative.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t normally have Lucifer telling you I’m gonna throw you away only for me to take off without you and then not be back when I say I will,” Dean said. “I need you to believe that I am not gonna let you fall. Okay?”

“Wow, uh, thanks?” Sam said. “Look, I don’t believe Lucifer either. He may believe it, but he doesn’t know you and he barely knows Cas. We’re good.”

“Good. Hey, Zach didn’t mean to, but he showed me something,” Dean said. “I got a thought on how we gank that bastard.”

“Zachariah, or Lucifer?” Castiel asked.

Dean chuckled. “Either? Both? Lucifer mostly, if it gets to the point where we have to gank Zach, your blade can do it, can’t it?”

“So how do we kill the devil?” Sam asked.

“With the Colt,” Dean said.

“The kill-anything gun that, oh yeah, Bela sold to the demons?” Sam said in disbelief. “You think there’s a snowball’s chance they haven’t melted that thing down?”

“Maybe they can’t,” Dean said with a shrug. “Maybe they’re just stupid. I don’t know, but I do know that Zach threw me into the future, and Future Me had the Colt. So it’s out there, we just gotta find it a little quicker than he did.”

“I’ll keep an ear out on my searches,” Castiel promised.

Sam was curious. “What was the future like?”

Dean shuddered. “Terrible. Cas was powerless and permanently high, I was the kind of dick who shoots a man in cold blood, you were… gone. Worldwide release of the Croatoan virus. But I know how to stop it – find the Colt in time.”


	6. Cambion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts out as a perfectly normal case turns Apocalyptic and results in a fight between Sam and Castiel.

After several weeks of following omens and chasing their tails through books, everyone was getting rather antsy. Bobby finally got fed up with his houseguests. “Look, folks, I know we got an apocalypse happenin’ here, but regular bad things don’t just shut down shop because of it. Find yourselves a case, go save some of the people we’re tryin’ to save!”

Ellen won the paper-rock-scissors for the first case they found, and she and Jo went to go look into a man who died in a 80 mile an hour car crash in his closed garage. Which left Sam and Dean to look into the teenage girl who’d had her skull clawed through. As they rode out, Sam got thoughtful. “Kinda weird, working a normal case. What’s the last one of those we did?”

Dean thought for a bit. “Uh… if it weren’t for our dead brother being there, probably those ghouls, Sandoval so doesn’t count… we haven’t worked a normal case since you’ve been on angel blood. It’ll be good for us.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam said. “Do you think teenage me would believe it if he heard the words ‘I miss being a normal hunter’ coming out of my mouth?”

“Not until he found out what you were doing instead,” Dean said as he cracked up.

Investigation led to oddness. The girl had apparently clawed through her own skull. When the second body turned up, and both involved prank items, they got a little weirded out. Joy buzzer was not the best way to cook ham, Dean decided, although it wasn’t the worst he’d had either.

Sam stopped just outside the store. “Dean, we’re on a case here. We are not starting this shit.”

“No, we’re not,” Dean agreed. “I don’t care if Lucifer would just bring you right back, I am not joybuzzing you to death. C’mon, Sam, give me some credit here.”

“Just making sure,” Sam said as he led the way in. They’d been there ten seconds when Dean held up the whoopee cushion. Sam just rolled his eyes and looked for the proprietor, who very obviously turned out to not be the witch they were looking for when he whimpered in fear as Dean joybuzzed a rubber chicken.

The next lead came the next day. They were called in on a man whose teeth had all been stolen, and the description Sam got, well… the only thing Sam could come up with is the tooth fairy. “Which, by the way, thank you for never telling me about,” Sam added.

“By the time you started losing teeth, you were helping me pull bullets out of Dad, you losing a tooth was not a big deal to you,” Dean said. “Anyway, uh, there’s more crazy here.” All the crazy added up to childhood beliefs being true.

“So we’re looking at, what, a god? With the sense of humor of a nine-year-old?” Sam offered.

Dean made a face. “Trickster, maybe. The one we’ve met could certainly be described that way, wouldn’t you say? Lady in Red.”

“Yeah,” Sam spat. “I kinda hope it’s that guy, I’ve got the stake nice and sharp.”

Sam figured out that there seemed to be a blast radius, so they set off for the house at the center of it. They found a little boy home alone, but were able to talk their way inside. “Come on, you can trust us,” Dean said. “We’re the authorities!”

The kid let them in, and Sam leaned over to whisper to Dean, “Speaking of things our teen selves would never believe came out of our mouths…”

It turned out Jesse did believe all the things that had happened. And that, when Dean explained the truth about joy buzzers, it didn’t do anything to Sam when Dean slapped it on his brother’s chest. Which Dean was so going to pay for.

They found Jesse’s birth mother on the opposite side of the state, and once they’d convinced her they weren’t demons, she explained. She’d been possessed throughout her pregnancy, from a virgin conception right up until the birth, when she was able to salt the demon out.

This was over their heads. Dean was the one to make the call, but neither of them expected Castiel’s solution to the problem of the boy. “Kill him. Other cultures call him cambion or katako. You know him as the Antichrist.”

“Hold up,” Sam said. “Jesse is the devil’s son?”

“Of course not; Lucifer is an angel. If it were his son, it would be Nephilim. That's one of the errors in Revelation. It’s just normal demon spawn.” Castiel gave Sam an apologetic glance. “But it is one of the devil’s most powerful weapons.”

“Wait,” Dean said, once Castiel had explained what the Antichrist would do. “Jesse’s gonna nuke the angels?”

“We cannot allow that to happen,” Castiel insisted.

Sam stood up, completely unable to believe what he was hearing from Castiel. “Cas, we don’t go around killing children.”

“A year ago, you would have done whatever it took to win this war.” Sam gave Castiel one incredulous look before turning away and leaning against the window.

“Great, now he’s pissed at both of us,” Dean said. “Cas, we are not killing a kid. We’ll… take him to Bobby’s. Bobby will know what to do.”

“You’ll kidnap him,” Cas translated. “Dean, people are dying when it’s happy. What will it do when it’s angry and scared?”

Sam turned back around, still angry. “So we tell him the truth. Everything. The Apocalypse, who he is, what he’s gonna do. Jesse’s a good kid. I think he’ll make the right choice.”

“You didn’t, until it was nearly too late.” Sam stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“What the hell, Cas,” Dean yelled, but the angel was gone. Dean swore loudly and went after Sam. He found his brother in the Impala, kneeling in the back seat. “Hey, you okay?”

Sam looked up, and Dean could see the angel blade in his hand. “I know I did terrible things last year. How could Cas just throw it in my face like that?”

“Give me the blade, Sammy,” Dean said, holding out his hand.

Sam looked down at it. “I’m not gonna hurt myself or Cas, Dean, I promise. It’s to remind me that at my lowest point, Castiel told me how to kill an angel and then put this in my hand. Well, not this exact one, but you know what I mean. I just… I need some time before I go back in and talk to Cas.”

“Well, Sam, I really hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but… we don’t have time, because Cas flew off,” Dean said. “And I’m pretty sure we both know exactly where he went.”

“Dammit, Cas,” Sam said. “Let’s go. Cas is going to get himself killed.”

 

When they got to Jesse, it was too late. Castiel was an action figure. Dean spun the lie about taking Jesse to the X-Men, which worked right up until the demon showed up wearing Julia. So when the demon spun the tale of Jesse’s entire life being a lie, Jesse had every reason to believe her. Absent parents who weren’t his “real” parents, the superhero story… the demon hadn’t lied to him. So when she encouraged his anger, Sam told the truth. “You’ve got choices, Jesse. And if you make the wrong one, it’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Jesse shouted, obviously torn.

“Because I know what it’s like,” Sam said. “I have demon blood in me, too. And the more blood I have, the more powerful I am. I had choices, too. And if it weren’t for an angel, I’d have made the wrong one at the worst possible time. That angel, actually.” Sam pointed to Castiel. “I’m telling you this to pay it forward. I was lied to and manipulated, and I did things I’ll regret for the rest of my life. But when it came time, I made the right choice. So I’m your angel, trying to save you before it’s too late. Like I was saved.”

Jesse’s fists clenched, and for a moment, Sam thought they’d failed. But he sent the demon away instead. “Do you really have demon blood in you?”

Sam nodded. “Not like you do, I wasn’t born part demon, but when I was a baby, a demon bled into me. It changed me, made me able to do things that most people couldn’t.” Sam looked over, and the Cas action figure flew out from under a pile of debris to land beside Sam. “If I drink demon blood, I get stronger, but I also get more like a demon. I know Cas here tried to kill you, and he was wrong. But he saved me, last year, and this is the only time I’ve ever seen him act like this. Do you think you could turn him back?”

“I dunno,” Jesse said. “Not right now. Does that mean we’re freaks?”

Dean winced, and Sam laughed. “To some people, yeah. But know that Dean and I don’t think you are, and the guy in South Dakota we want to take you to won’t either. We save the word freak for things that are killers, like demons.”

“What should I do now? I can’t stay here,” Jesse said.

“We can’t tell you,” Sam said. “I know it sucks, but you’re the only one who can make this choice. If you come with us, we can train you, but that’s not your only option.”

It wasn’t a surprise when Jesse went to say goodbye to his parents and then disappeared. It wasn’t much of a surprise that they found out Jesse was gone because of Cas’s restoration. “He’s gone. We can’t find him unless he decides he wants to be found.”

“Well, good for him,” Sam said. “Running away to where no one knows where he is, that’s gotta be the safest thing for him. And if he decides he wants in the fight, he knows he can come to Bobby’s.”

“Yes.” There was a moment of silence, and then Sam turned away to leave. “Sam…”

“I can’t do this now, Cas,” Sam said. “Come talk to me once we’re back at Bobby’s.”

 

The ride home seemed longer than normal, and both Winchesters were relieved when they made the turn. “Do you want me to stay?” Dean asked as he pulled the Impala into its normal spot.

“Yeah, this fight is me and Cas but you’re part of this relationship,” Sam said. He huffed in amusement. “You know, I always figured our first fight would be me or Cas against you, but now here you are right back in the role of peacemaker between two incredibly stubborn and hot-headed people you love.”

Dean chuckled. “Want me to call him, or just wait till he shows?”

The flutter of wings let them know the choice had been made for them. “Sam. I said some things I shouldn’t have, and I am incredibly sorry. A year ago, you might well have agreed to kill Jesse, but I think all of us can agree that the person you were a year ago is not a person we want around, and it was wrong of me to invoke that. What I said about you not making the right choice, that came out differently than I intended. What I meant by that is that you are quite possibly the person most committed to doing good that I know, and yet, you nearly made the wrong choice when it was before you. Jesse is just a boy, and if you couldn’t choose well, how could he? I did not mean that you were weak or that I hold any of that against you, but I do understand that it came out that way.”

Sam hadn’t expected the apology. He’d expected to have to explain to Cas what he’d done wrong. “Thanks, Cas. That… actually means a lot.”

“What was up with you being all ‘kill the kid’ anyway?” Dean asked. “It didn’t seem like you.”

Castiel sighed. “Normally, no, I would be against any plan that involves killing a child. But you must understand. I rebelled against Heaven, but the Host is still my family. Those were my brothers and sisters who would die if Jesse embraced his destiny. Not all of them are like Uriel or Zachariah, or even Michael. Your world, your entire species is at risk here, with the Apocalypse. Jesse put mine at risk too, and I made the wrong choice. Thankfully, Jesse was able to save himself from me, and the two of you were able to convince Jesse to choose better.”

“C’mere,” Sam said, beckoning to Castiel. The angel hesitated, but obeyed, and went limp with relief when Sam pulled him into a hug. “It hurt a lot, especially from you of all people, but I can’t imagine I can do anything to you that’s worse than what you’ve been doing to yourself, and I know perfectly well how that goes. Love you.”

“I could hear everything you said to Jesse, you know,” Castiel said. “You would have made a terrible angel. You have too much heart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of skipped episode 5, I know. But between no Cas and the fact that Dean still trusts Sam, it didn't seem to fit. I may add it as a "deleted scene" with Ellen and Jo's adventures with Paris Hilton later.


	7. Gambling with Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby, Ellen, and Jo get into a fight.

When Sam and Dean got back from their next hunt, a routine vengeful spirit, it was to find no one at the house. That was a little odd, since it was two in the morning. Even more odd was the three-way shouting match that started up the next morning when Bobby and the Harvelles got there.

“What the hell was that, Singer?” Ellen shouted. “I know you’re havin’ a hard time dealing with the chair. Hell, if it were me, I’d be goin’ out of my mind by now. But trusting a witch in a poker game?”

“They’re my years, I can do what I want,” Bobby returned. “And what, exactly, am I livin’ for? The Apocalypse? If I weren’t such a damn coward, I’d have eaten my gun the day I got home from the hospital. I ain’t a hunter no more, Ellen, I’m useless.”

“Useless,” Jo repeated. “Right, I forgot, you need legs to answer phones and spread the word of hunts to people in the area and be the best damn resource we have when it comes to digging up obscure lore. Yeah. You sure are useless, all right.”

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, Joanna Beth,” Ellen snapped. “Sneakin’ off like that? You’re no poker player!”

“I had the most years to lose,” Jo protested. “And I won, didn’t I? What did you think I was gonna do? Since Dad died, Bobby’s the closest thing I have to a father, and I’m not even the one who needs him most!”

“There you go, Bobby, that’s what you’re livin’ for. Me and Jo, Sam and Dean, we can’t do this without you,” Ellen said. “Oh, sure, Sam can research with the best of them and I could take over the phones easy enough, what we can’t replace is YOU!”

Dean went in then, and Sam had to admire his courage stepping into World War Hunter. “Bobby, you’re family, and I don’t know if you noticed, but… take a look around this room. This is what we got. Okay, Cas ain’t here, but even with him, you think any one of us can check out without leaving a huge hole behind? Me and Sam, in a lot of ways you’ve been a better father to us the last few years than Dad ever managed to be.”

“Ain’t one of us here who thinks you’re useless,” Ellen said. “Ain’t one of us here who wouldn’t die for you. So don’t you dare check out on us, Bobby Singer. Don’t you check out on me.” The tears she’d been holding in spilled over a bit, and she quickly wiped them away.

Bobby looked as though he’d been slapped. “Ellen, that… you’re right. I’m sorry. I ain’t leavin’ you or Jo or the boys, and I shouldn’t be thinkin’ like that. Demon gets me, angel gets me, fine, but I ain’t goin’ out without a fight. Promise.”

Jo grabbed Dean’s arm and hauled him out of the room, motioning for Sam to follow. “They need some time alone, I think.”

“What happened?” Dean asked.

Jo rolled her eyes. “Mom and I found this case, a 25-year-old man died of old age. Turns out it was a witch playing poker with years instead of money. I called Bobby to see if that was possible, and Bobby came down to play. And lost.”

“So you played to win them back,” Sam said. “And did.”

Jo nodded. “I offered as soon as we realized what had happened, but Mom didn’t want to let me. So I acted like the snot-nosed teenager she was treating me like and snuck out to play. I won, too, didn’t take my years because I don’t want to be a baby again, but I got Bobby’s back. Patrick offered to split them between Mom and Bobby, said he had to do something with them. But they said no.”

“What did you end up doing with the years?” Dean asked.

Jo laughed. “Gave ‘em to Cas. He’s now millennia minus 25 years old instead of millennia. And yes, I specified Cas instead of Jimmy, Patrick thought it was hilarious.”

“What’d you do with Patrick?” Sam asked. “I assume that’s the witch.”

“Yeah… well, there wasn’t just a whole lot we could do,” Jo said. “Mom shot him on general principles, right through the heart, didn’t kill him. He’s old and powerful and doesn’t need the props to work the magic. Can’t kill him, can’t stop him, only thing we could do was save ourselves and bail.”

“What’s up with your mom and Bobby?” Dean asked. “Because that was a little weird, in there.”

“Not really,” Jo said. “They’re worse than you two about seeing what’s right there between them and grabbing hold. I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen pretty much as long as I can remember. And look, I know John Winchester was your father and all, but between Dad being dead and John being too much of a coward to talk to her, Mom needed someone who wasn’t four years old to lean on, and Bobby was there for her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one this time, sorry. Once again, Sam and Dean's part in this episode didn't really fit what I'm doing, while it *does* work to integrate Ellen and Jo more. Because I love the Harvelles.
> 
> And again, sorry about the lack of Cas. He'll be back next chapter, promise!


	8. When Television Imitates Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Incredible Hulk leads Sam and Dean into a bunch of wacky TV-related mishaps that take a serious turn when the Winchesters realize the truth about their tormentor.

It was Sam and Dean’s turn for a weird one, so when they read about a bear chasing a man into his bedroom and ripping his head off, they were grateful to get out of the house. And when the bear turned into the Incredible Hulk, well, the case got really interesting.

“A hothead getting killed by TV’s greatest hothead,” Sam observed. “Almost sounds like just deserts, doesn’t it.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, it does.”

“Now it’s starting to make sense.” Sam pulled a handful of candy wrappers out of his pocket.

Dean put the clues together. “Trickster.” Sam had to agree. “Good. Been wanting to gank that mother since Broward County.”

“Oh, me too,” Sam said. “But I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh, this is going nowhere good,” Dean groaned, sitting back down.

“Dean, this thing is powerful. More powerful than almost anything else we’ve ever seen. And he loves his candy, and women, and parties.” Sam shrugged. “Maybe he wants to protect this world just as much as we do. No more world, no more candy, no more people to play tricks on.”

“Ally with the Trickster,” Dean said in complete disbelief.

Sam couldn’t quite meet his eye. “Yeah. I know what he did to you, but Dean, you don’t even remember it. You only remember the Tuesday I figured it out and saved you. So if I can work with him despite having to watch every single one of your deaths…”

“You’re also the guy who forgives and forgets,” Dean said. “Not me. What he did to you… I want his ass staked to the ground.”

“So do I, but if he can help us…” Sam let out a long breath. “We don’t exactly have the luxury of being picky about our allies here. I’m not saying I want to be his Facebook friend, I just think we should talk to him. And if he won’t help us, well, then we kill him.”

“Okay. Well, horse first. We gotta find the guy,” Dean said. “He never takes just one victim… police scanner?”

 

They listened, and when a weird call came in, they went to investigate. And found themselves in a hospital where people were calling them doctor and slapping Sam. Dean finally recognized it as the set of Dr. Sexy, M.D., and Sam couldn’t stop the smirk at how fanboy Dean went when he did. Especially when Dean went all stammer-y and teenager-with-a-crush when Doctor Sexy himself arrived.

Admittedly, Dean’s crush helped them find the Trickster. Sam had to wonder if he overlooked little details on purpose when he wanted to be figured out. He agreed to talk – if they survived the next twenty-four hours playing his game. Which, naturally, he wouldn’t give the rules for.

After a few encounters that had Sam rolling his eyes and Dean laughing a bit, they ran into one they couldn’t just ignore. Dean got shot in the back, and since everyone thought Sam was a cerebrovascular neurosurgeon, he ended up having to do the surgery. It wasn’t like he’d never pulled a bullet out of Dean, or himself, but doing it in a hospital operating room with a bunch of trained professionals watching and helping was really tricky.

And once the surgery was complete, things got even weirder. One minute Dean was on the operating table and Sam was washing the blood off his gloves, the next they were both in a torture chamber with a lot of people shouting in Japanese. Naturally, Sam was the one to get the first question, and the first demonstration of what the device did.

“Nut-craaaackerrrr!” the host cheered as Sam bent over in pain.

The doors opened again, and out came… “Cas?” Dean couldn’t decide if he was happy to see the angel or worried that he was trapped too. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Cas stage-whispered. “You’ve been missing for days.”

“Get us the hell out of here, then,” Sam managed to say.

Cas was reaching for the two of them when he suddenly disappeared. “No no no no,” the host said. “Mr. Trickster is not letting pretty-boy angel ruin the fun.”

Dean’s nuts were on the line when Sam managed to figure it out. “Play our roles. Answer the question.” Dean buzzed and, somehow, managed to answer in Japanese. They moved on to a commercial for genital herpes medicine, and then to a sitcom version of their real lives. Sort of. Sam wasn’t exactly thrilled with having to escort a bikini-clad woman out of Dean’s room while she made suggestive remarks.

Cas caught up to them there, covered in blood. “Something’s not right here,” he said, dodging questions about where he’d been. “This thing is much more powerful than a Trickster should be.” He didn’t get to explain as he went flying into the wall, and then had his mouth duct-taped closed when the Trickster showed up.

“Hi Castiel!” Castiel’s face changed as he recognized what this thing really was, but before he could say, the Trickster sent him away again. “Relax, he’ll live. Maybe.”

“Look, we get it, okay? Play our roles. Fine.” Dean got in the Trickster’s face. “Send us back.”

“That’s half the game, boys. The other half: play your roles… out there,” the Trickster said. “Sam, starring as Lucifer! Dean, starring as Michael! Let’s get the party started!”

“We do that, the world will end,” Sam tried to explain.

The Trickster just grinned gleefully. “And whose fault is that? You chuckleheads are the ones who started this, now play your roles so we can finish it!”

"So, you grabbing ankle for Michael or Lucifer?” Dean asked. “You gotta be workin’ for one of them.”

The Trickster seemed to get angry at that. “I don’t work for either of those sons of bitches.”

“One of ‘em’s bending you over,” Dean started, but he was interrupted by the Trickster grabbing him and slamming him against a wall.

“Don’t you ever, ever presume to know what I am.” The Trickster got hold of himself, loosened his grip on Dean, but didn’t let him go. “Now here’s your choices. You can suck it up and play the parts destiny has chosen for you, or you can stay here in TV Land forever. And Castiel… well, sorry boys, but you’ll never see him again.”

Sam lost his temper, lunging at the Trickster, but the scene changed around them to some sort of police procedural. Sam led on this one, and they got a stake through the Trickster and went back to their motel. “Sam, man, I’m worried. Where the hell did he send Cas?” No answer. Dean went looking, and found Sam in the Impala.

Or, perhaps more accurately, Sam as the Impala. “I don’t think we killed him,” Sam said.

“Stake didn’t work,” Dean said as he drove. “What now?”

“I don’t know. I think Cas was right, this thing’s not a Trickster,” Sam said.

Dean had to agree. “Did you see the way he looked at Cas?”

“Dean…”

“No this is not a jealousy thing, I’m just sayin’… I think he knows Cas,” Dean said.

“He sure got pissed when you brought up Michael and Lucifer,” Sam mused.

Dean slapped the steering wheel, to Sam’s vocal annoyance. “Son of a bitch. I think I know what we’re dealing with.” He pulled Sam over and dug around in the trunk.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Sam?”

“Could you, um, hurry it up? I can feel this, and it’s…” Sam said, discomfort obvious.

Dean laughed. “Compared to how much room there usually is when you’ve got something stuck in there, would’ve thought this would be a cakewalk.” He slammed the trunk and started setting up.

“Funny, Dean,” Sam said. “Are you sure this’ll work?”

Dean wasn’t, but it’s not like they had any better ideas. The Trickster showed up when Dean cried uncle. “Whoa, Sam, get a load of the rims on you.”

“Eat me.”

“First things first,” Dean said. “No one’s doing anything until Sammy has opposable thumbs.”

“What difference does it make?” the Trickster asked. “Lucifer’s gonna ride his ass one way or the other.” One look at Dean’s face, though, and he backed off. “Fine, fine.” He snapped his fingers and Sam got out of the car.

“Why didn’t the stake kill you?” Dean asked, once he was sure Sam was okay.

“I am the Trickster,” he said with a smug shrug.

Sam light his Zeppo and let it drop. “Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe you’ve always been an angel.”

“Sam, I’m flattered, but it’s Lucifer that wants your body,” the Trickster said with a wink. “An angel? Really, boys?”

“Fine. Step out of the holy fire, and we’ll call it our mistake,” Dean said. The scene dissolved around them.

 

Back in the warehouse, the Trickster slow-clapped. “Nicely played, boys. Where’d you get the holy oil?”

Dean smirked. “You might say we pulled it out of Sam’s ass.” Sam glared.

“Fair enough,” the Trickster said. “Where’d I screw up?”

“You didn’t, exactly. But nobody gets the jump on Cas like you did,” Sam said. 

“And the way you talked about Armageddon,” Dean added. “Call it personal experience, but you don’t get that angry unless it’s family.”

The Trickster nodded. “Can’t argue that. I’m Gabriel. You’ve probably heard of me.”

“Gabriel, the archangel?” Sam said. “Cas said you went missing, disappeared on Earth a long time ago. Why hide as a Trickster?”

Dean snorted. “Can you blame him for ditching Heaven? Absentee father, his brothers are major douche-nozzles…”

“Shut your cake hole,” Gabriel snarled. “I loved my Father, my brothers – loved them. Still love them, even Lucifer. I couldn’t bear to watch them turn on each other, so I left. And now, thanks to you two, I have to watch it all over again, and this time I don’t have anywhere to run! I don’t care who wins, Michael, Lucifer, it doesn’t matter. One of my brothers will be dead, and it’s all thanks to the two of you! I just want it to be _over_.” He stopped for a quick breath. “Look, this can’t be stopped. This isn’t about a war, not really. This is about two brothers who loved each other beyond everything, and who betrayed each other. You’d think the two of you would be able to relate.”

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Why do you think you two are the vessels, huh? You think it’s just _coincidence_ that Armageddon happened when Michael and Lucifer’s vessels just happened to be brothers for the first time since, oh, _Cain and Abel_?” Gabriel raised his hands dramatically. “As it is in Heaven, so must it be on Earth. One brother must kill the other.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean rasped out.

“Since Daddy flipped on the lights, we’ve known it would end with the two of you,” Gabriel said. “I knew the day I met you at that University who you would become. Why do you think you got harmless pranks, or reversible deaths? You always found me when people died, you didn’t think it was a little strange that I let the two of you just walk away?”

“No. That’s ain’t how it’s gonna happen,” Dean said.

Gabriel sighed. “I’m sorry, but it is. You don’t think I wish there were another way? They're my brothers, you two should know how hard this is. But there isn’t. So now what? We sit here and stare at each other until one side or the other finds us?”

“Well, first, you’re gonna bring Cas back,” Dean said.

Gabriel looked between the two of them, and a sudden look of surprise appeared on his face. “Never would’ve believed it of you, Castiel. Isn’t that still against the rules?”

“I rebelled,” Castiel said. “Hello, Gabriel.”

“Cas, you okay?” Dean asked. Castiel nodded. “Let’s get out of here. Come on, Sam, this is what it feels like to walk away from an archangel in holy fire.” Cas raised an eyebrow when Dean turned back at the door. “Hey. Gabe. This isn’t about some prizefight between your brothers, or some destiny that can’t be changed. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family.” As Dean turned to walk out, he hit the switch for the fire alarm, which set off the emergency sprinklers.

 

Once they were a state away, Sam turned around. “I’m sorry, Cas.”

“Thank you. I really thought Gabriel would help us,” Cas said.

Dean looked in the rearview mirror. “I take it the two of you knew each other, up in Heaven?”

“Yes. He was an archangel and frequently busy, but he often took time out to visit me, see how I was doing. When I was very young, Gabriel was the one who taught me what to do.” Castiel sighed. “I was one of the few angels who knew he was planning to leave. For a time, I even kept in touch with him. Then he disappeared from Scandinavia, and I wasn’t able to track him.”

“Scandinavia?” Sam asked. “What was he doing there?”

Castiel smiled, just a little bit. “The Vikings called him Loki.”

“The Norse Trickster,” Sam said with a laugh. “That’s… actually kinda awesome.”

“I thought he would be different,” Castiel said. “Gabriel was always erratic, capricious. He could be downright cruel sometimes. But in the end, he always came down on the side of humanity. That’s why he left; with Lucifer gone, Gabriel wouldn’t be able to keep Michael and Raphael in check by himself, and he knew this time would come.”

“Where’d that dick send you, anyway?” Dean asked.

“It was some sort of… alternate reality,” Cas said. “The two of you were there, but things were very different. Ellen and Jo weren’t with us. Sam, you fell for Ruby’s manipulation. You and Dean were still working together, but only because you’d tried the alternative and found it didn’t work.”

“So what happened to your nose?” Sam asked. “It’s kinda… bloody.”

“That Dean reacted rather poorly when I tried to kiss him,” Castiel said. “Why it actually hurt me, well, I can only guess, but I would guess Gabriel. He did stop when he saw the blood.”

“Least there’s that,” Dean said. “What do you think he was tryin’ to teach you?”

Cas shook his head. “It’s you two he plays teacher to. Me, he just wanted out of the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel, y'all. I got to play with Gabriel. It was fun.
> 
> Sorry about the terrible joke with the Sampala, but given that it's inspired by canon, I hope y'all will forgive me.


	9. Sometimes Fanboys and Fangirls Are Useful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in the middle of an Apocalypse, the world goes on and shit gets weird. Sam and Dean take a trip down weirdness lane at the invitation of some chick named Becky Rosen.

Technically, it was Ellen and Jo’s turn to take the case when the text came in, but since it was sent specifically to Sam, they agreed to let the Winchesters have it. They drove all night only to discover that Chuck hadn’t sent the text, it had been sent by some weirdo named Becky Rosen.

“I am your number-one fan,” Becky said as she stared at Sam. “I know everything about you. And you…” She looked to Dean. “Are not what I pictured.” She turned her attention back to Sam, who was getting extremely uncomfortable with it.

It turned out that Becky had “borrowed” Chuck’s phone to get Sam and Dean to a convention based on the books about them. As weird as it had been to read about their lives, it was even weirder seeing people dressed as them and discussing the literary symbolism in the books. Sam held back the snicker as he elbowed Dean to point out the “Homoerotic Subtext” panel on the schedule board. “I get it, we’re idiots,” Dean hissed. “What the hell.”

They’d known Chuck’s books didn’t exactly have a lot of fans, but holy crap, the ones they did have were … um … devoted. “Why is it, every fight, Sam or Dean is having their gun or knife knocked away? Why don’t they keep it on some sort of… bungee?”

Dean bit back the laugh. “Why don’t we?” he whispered to Sam, who just shrugged.

Becky intervened when a fan asked a question about Ruby, but then it was announced that they were going to start publishing again. Sam grabbed Dean’s arm and dragged him out. “We cannot let that happen,” he said. “For one thing, it’s already so far beyond creepy, and for another…”

“We’ve got an Apocalypse to avert and it would be extremely helpful if Chuck didn’t tell the … okay, the devoted few… about it?” Dean said. “We gotta warn Cas.”

“Warn me about what?” Castiel asked as he appeared behind them, causing both Winchesters to jump a little.

“You know, I was actually kind of starting to miss the near heart attacks,” Dean said. “What are you doing here? For that matter, how’d you know we were?”

“I dropped by to check on Sam, Bobby told me where you’d gone and why. The prophet is in danger. A life or death situation. If Raphael shows…” Castiel said.

“Then Dean and I are the ones who are getting the crap smote out of us,” Sam said. “Only danger Chuck’s in is that we’re gonna kill him for publishing more books. The text was a lie to get us here.”

Castiel looked around, taking in the merchandise and the posters and the signs. “Fans of Chuck’s books have gathered to discuss them.”

“And us, and crap they’re reading into it that is so not there,” Dean grumped. “And if Chuck starts publishing again, either the first book is gonna be Sam only, or he’s gonna start with you hauling my ass out of Hell.”

“They’ve already been written,” Castiel reminded them. “I’ve read up to when we met him. You know that. If Chuck doesn’t publish them, then someone else will. The writings of a prophet cannot be kept hidden. If Chuck does it, then at least he gets something for the blinding pain and the things he doesn’t want to see.”

“Awesome.” Dean headed for the bar, Sam and Castiel behind him.

At the bar, after they’d calmed down a bit, a fan approached them. This particular fan was dressed as Ruby, who was exactly what Sam didn’t want to see right now. “Hey guys, um, I know you’re Sam and you’re Dean, and that makes sense, but who are you supposed to be?” she asked, staring at Castiel.

“He’s, um, not…” Sam started.

Castiel stopped Sam with a touch on the arm. “The convention organizers hired me to dress as one of the new characters from the upcoming books, to generate speculation. My name is Cas.”

Fake Ruby squealed in delight. “Can you tell me anything about what’s coming?”

“No.” Castiel was going to explain further, but they were cut off by a scream. A scream that everyone at the convention seemed to think it was their job to investigate.

Which, it turns out, it was. The convention was apparently putting on a fake case for the fake Sams and Deans to solve. “Just when I thought this could not possibly get any weirder,” Dean groaned. “Seriously?”

“At least we’ve hit bottom for weirdness?” Sam offered, not quite believing it himself. Which it turns out he was right to do, as a pair of Fake Winchesters decided that in the middle of a case was the perfect time to reenact their actual lives. “I take it back. Time to bail?”

“I believe so,” Castiel said, and he took off.

“Drink first for me,” Dean said, and Sam agreed. They were heading to get it when they heard a panicked voice, and the fake case turned into a real one. Four ghost kids and a ghost governess. They ended up having to work with a pair of roleplayers who decided that on the way to a cemetery to burn some bones was the perfect time to reenact more of their lives. “Oh god,” Dean said when he recognized the conversation from Roosevelt Asylum.

“I lied, you know,” Sam said. “I meant it all. Of course I didn’t mean it at all how it came out, but I really was kinda pissed at you.”

“Yeah, I know, not stupid, Sammy,” Dean said. “Figure that’s what you spent all that time talking to the shrink about, too.” Sam laughed; he’d forgotten that part.

When they found the grave and dug it up, the roleplayers decided that they were nuts. And when the real ghost sent Sam flying, they ran. Well, good, it got the civilians out of the area. Except that one tripped, and the other just had to come back for him, which meant that Dean couldn’t go to Sam because he had to save their stupid asses by getting on with the salt and burn.

They bought the guys a round of drinks. They hadn’t totally sucked at stuff and, well… civilians seeing ghosts for the first time tended to freak. As they went to leave, they discovered they had a new problem: there was no way out. The doors, windows, everything was stuck closed. And as they discovered, they’d had the story backwards. The ghost they killed was the only thing between three bloodthirsty brats and a convention full of innocent, if thoroughly misguided, people.

The two guys from earlier, Demian and Barnes, showed up to help out. Sam went with them to force a way out so they could get to the cemetery for the salt-and-burn, while Dean babysat an actress playing the governess who could keep the boys under control. It worked for a little bit, but not long enough. Dean got between the boys and the actress, lost his poker, and got saved by Sam. “They got out, doors closed again. Our asses are in the hands of people who roleplay us.”

“Well, if they’re roleplaying us right, that means they’ll come through,” Dean said, trying to sound confident. “Could try calling Cas, see if he can get here?”

“Already did,” Sam said. “The ghosts are blocking cell service. Worst case I’m gonna fire off a prayer, but…”

“That lets Michael know where we are too,” Dean said. “Yeah, last resort.”

Sam was just about to pray when the ghosts holding knives to his and Dean’s heads disappeared. They went to check on everyone else, and Chuck had done his part, kept everyone in the salted main auditorium until the ghosts were gone.

As Dean was leaving the next day, he ran into Demian and Barnes again. They still didn’t believe him when he said he was Dean Winchester, but… probably for the best. “Hey, you’re wrong. About _Supernatural_.” Dean asked for clarification – this should be good. “Our lives suck. But to be Sam and Dean, wake up every morning and save the world, have a brother who would die for you… who wouldn’t want that?” Huh. Put that way, reminded that what the fans saw was the good parts, he had to admit they had a point.

He left them to go find Sam and finally, _finally_ , get the hell out of here, but he could not bring himself to interrupt Becky Rosen breaking up with his brother. He did pull out his cell phone and get a picture for blackmail purposes. As Sam was leaving, Becky ran after him. “Wait! One more thing. In _Time Is On My Side_ , there was that girl Bela, she was British and a cat burgler… she stole the Colt from you and said she gave it to Lilith, right? Well, she lied.”

“What?” Sam said, looking to Chuck. Chuck nodded.

“There was this scene where Bela gives the Colt to this demon named Crowley. Lilith’s right-hand man… and, I think, her lover,” Becky said. Dean didn't believe that, but he was going to find their copy of the book and find that scene. He wasn’t exactly going to trust Becky to give them information that hadn’t been run through her own personal goggles.

Once they were on the road, Sam called Cas. “You left at just the wrong time, there was an actual hunt. Coulda used your help.”

“I apologize. Are you and Dean all right?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, just some ghosts,” Sam said. “But do you know of a demon called Crowley?”

“Yes.” Cas’s voice took on a slight note of panic. “Did he show up at the convention? Are you still there?”

“No, no, nothing like that, no demons at the convention,” Sam reassured Cas. Dean looked over in confusion. “According to something in one of Chuck’s books, Bela gave the Colt to Crowley, not Lilith. So we actually have a solid lead for tracking it down.”

“Crowley is not your average demon,” Castiel warned. “I’ve never dealt with him personally, but he’s the king of the crossroads demons. For a demon, he doesn't resort much to violence. He prefers to talk. Be very, very careful when dealing with him.”

“Thanks for the heads’ up,” Sam said. “Can you help us find him?”

“Of course. I’ll look around and meet you at Bobby’s.” Castiel hung up and Sam relayed the warnings to Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, the things I leave out come back to bite me in the butt. Like Becky here. Oh well, it's not like it's any more contrived that some of the stuff the actual show pulls.


	10. Lucifer Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Dean, Cas, Ellen, and Jo head out to stop Lucifer once and for all. Not everyone makes it back.

It took some time, but Castiel tracked Crowley. “Got him. He’s making a deal. The guy was most likely going to Hell anyway.”

“Well, that’s better than the alternative, I guess,” Dean said. “Alright, Huggy Bear, don’t lose him.” Sam turned around and mouthed _Huggy Bear_ in disbelief.

“I won’t.” The call went dead.

“Huggy Bear?” Sam repeated, no longer holding back the smirk. “We’re gonna start using pet names now? Just so you know, you ever call me baby I’m punching your teeth in. I refuse to share a pet name with your car.”

“Shut up,” Dean said. “Just… shut up. It wasn’t a pet name, it was one of my frequent sarcastic nicknames.”

Fortunately, Cas called back to tell them where to find Crowley. He couldn’t get in, but he could stay to make sure Crowley didn’t come out. Jo came out to play honey pot, getting the front gates open with a tale of car trouble, and from there it was surprisingly easy to get to Crowley.

“So, the Hardy Boys finally found me, eh? Took you long enough. Hello, boys.” Crowley seemed to be perfectly at ease with two hunters pointing weapons at him. He spotted the trap before he walked into it, and his only reaction to was to roll his eyes and complain about the cost of the rug. Two demons came out to hold Sam and Dean back when Crowley held up the Colt. To their surprise, the two bullets he shot were into the two demons. “We need to talk. Privately.”

Crowley led them to an office, where he proceeded to explain that he was the reason rumors of the Colt’s existence were even out there. “Even managed to get a spell off to have the prophet put it in his book even though it didn’t have anything to do with a Winchester. Now. I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face.”

“And why would you want us to do that?” Dean asked. “Thought he was your boss. Your king.”

“He rules the demons, yeah, but he isn’t one of us,” Crowley explained. “He’s an angel, and what’s more, one who sees humans as filthy bags of pus. Now, if you two weren’t, at best, functioning morons, you’d realize this, but I’ll spell it out for you. If that’s how he sees you, what must he think of us? Once he’s won the showdown, he’ll kill the humans. And then, he won’t need demons anymore, so he’ll wipe us all out too.”

Not only did Crowley just hand over the gun, he was able to tell them where Lucifer was. Or at least, where he’d be on Thursday. It went against everything Sam believed in, including Castiel’s warning about Crowley, but he couldn’t see Crowley’s angle if he wasn’t legitimately helping them kill Lucifer. Oh, sure, he’d probably made plans to get something out of it, but nothing about this felt like a trap. He even had the foresight to remove the ammunition from the gun except for the two bullets he’d needed.

“Aren’t you signing your own death warrant?” Dean asked. “What happens if we lose?”

“One, he’s gonna kill us all anyway. Two, once we’re finished here I’m going on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three… how about you DON’T MISS?” Crowley shook his head and tossed Dean the ammunition. “Morons.” By the time Dean had checked to make sure the bullets were there, Crowley had vanished.

 

Wednesday night, the six gathered around Bobby’s living room. No research, no planning, just celebrating like it’s their last night on Earth. Cas and Ellen got into a drinking contest with Jo as judge, Bobby made them all gather around for a picture, and Sam and Dean got into a fight.

“Sam, you know, you can’t come on this one,” Dean said.

“Dean, if this is about there being demons…” Sam started to protest.

Dean shook his head. “No. Aside from the thing with War, you’ve been fine with Cas’s help. But think about it. I go up against the devil and whiff, we lose a game piece, the rest of you can regroup and keep going. But if you’re there, then we are handing Lucifer’s vessel over to him. It’s not smart.”

“Since when have we ever done anything smart?” Sam teased. “Dean, Lucifer can’t possess me until I say he can. He starts messing too bad with you, Michael or Zachariah will send in the God Squad to protect Michael’s vessel. We’ve let Godzilla cover our escape from Mothra before, gotten away from both; why not this time?”

Dean held up his beer and gestured with it as he gave in. “This is a stupid friggin’ idea.”

“Aren’t they all,” Sam said.

Cas came over then; the whiskey had run out before either he or Ellen got properly drunk. “I sincerely hope this is the last time we have to do the tomorrow-I-die celebration.”

“Yeah, me too,” Dean agreed. “Sammy gonna get drunk off you?”

Castiel looked confused, until Dean pointed to the empty bottles of whiskey. “It’s possible. I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to find out.”

“Great,” Dean sighed. “Then I’m comin’ with you.”

Sam looked up in surprise. “What? Why? I thought you didn’t wanna have to acknowledge this was even happening.”

Dean just shrugged. “I don’t. But I remember how Cas got when we went up against Lilith, and the devil’s even bigger of a threat. And if you’re gonna be sloshed, you might not be able to tell when you’ve had too much. Someone’s gotta babysit, just to make sure, and better me than Jo. Ellen and Bobby already went to bed.”

Castiel and Sam exchanged glances, but neither could argue Dean’s point. “If you feel it’s necessary,” Castiel said. “We should go now; I can recover overnight and on the ride there, and I know Sam’s doing well but I don’t want him drinking around demons.”

 

Carthage was a ghost town by the time they arrived. Naturally, cell service was out; it would be hard to stay in contact. But they had to split up. Dean and Sam headed for the police, while Ellen, Jo, and Cas picked a spot along a major street to start searching for the people.

They didn’t find people, but Cas did spot the Reapers. “They only gather like this in times of great catastrophe. Chicago fire, Pompeii… we need to know why they’re here, and I’m the only one who can see them.”

It was always a little eerie watching the Reapers in times like this. Castiel walked among them, looking for one with a sign of awareness. He finally found one inside one of the buildings, but when he went in, he discovered the trap. “Hello, brother,” Lucifer said, as the holy oil caught fire in a ring around Castiel.

Lucifer recognized him, which actually surprised Castiel a little. “What a peculiar thing you are,” the archangel said as the two studied each other and exchanged pleasantries. Castiel claimed to have come alone, which amused Lucifer. But then, Castiel noticed open sores on Lucifer’s face. “Nick is wearing a bit thin, I’m afraid. We both know he can’t contain me forever.”

“You…” Castiel moved toward Lucifer, only just stopping in time before he walked into the holy fire. “You are not taking Sam Winchester. I won’t let you.”

Lucifer just smiled. “Come now, Castiel. I know you’re attached to him, and I promise you, I will give him back in good condition. I don’t understand why you’re fighting me. I rebelled, I was cast out; you rebelled, you were cast out. If I win, I reward my helpers and punish those who stood against me. But if Michael wins, no matter what you do, you will take my place as Heaven’s Enemy Number One. Either way, you lose one of the Winchesters, and Michael just might keep Dean from you out of spite. So why not serve your own best interests, which just happen to be mine as well?”

If Lucifer thought for a second Castiel would go for it, then it showed that his time away from Heaven had taught him nothing. “I’ll die first.” Lucifer apparently could see he meant it, so he fell silent, just waiting patiently.

 

Ellen and Jo met the Winchesters outside the police department. Neither group had seen any sign of people, nor any sign of Cas. They tried not to think about the fact that Lucifer had probably found their angel, but they were distracted by a voice calling out to them. “Meg,” Sam said. “How are you alive?”

“Smoked out before the angel blade did life-threatening damage,” Meg said. “The timing was incredibly tricky, but I mostly managed it. Why do you think it took me so long to find you guys?”

Dean pointed the Colt at her, but Meg revealed her secret weapon. Hellhounds. Meg asked them to come with her to Lucifer, but after a quick look at the others, Dean fired. Killed a Hellhound. He had no idea how many were still after them, but they had to run. Dean was the one at the back, so he was the one who got caught. Jo tried to save him, despite Dean’s protests, and got caught herself. They got into a store and locked it up as tightly as they could.

Jo’s wound was bad. Really bad. Ellen and Sam took care of her while Dean rigged up a radio so he could call Bobby for help. Bobby figured out what Lucifer was there for – to raise Death. The Horseman, who had been chained in a box under the Earth since Noah built his ark. The good news is that meant they knew a time and a specific place for where Lucifer would be.

They tried to start making a plan to get Jo and Ellen out before getting to the farm by midnight, but Jo stopped them. She knew she was dead, so if they were gonna plan, they needed to plan on Jo staying right where she was. And she had an idea: build a bomb. She was dead anyway; this way she could take the Hellhounds with her and give Dean his shot at Lucifer.

“No, I… I won’t let you,” Ellen said, tears filling her eyes.

“This is why we’re here,” Jo reminded her. “We knew there would be casualties. Cas may be dead already, I’m dying. This will give you three a chance to get out of here. Mom, this is literally your last opportunity to treat me like an adult. You might wanna take it.”

The Winchesters waited. This had to be Ellen’s call. Finally, she made it. “You heard her. Get to work.”

Bomb built, Dean pressed the detonator into Jo’s hand. “This is it,” Dean said. “We’ll see you on the other side. Probably sooner rather than later.”

Jo’s panted breaths changed a little in what was probably an attempt to laugh. “Dean, make it later? Don’t miss.” Dean forced the tears back and kissed Jo’s forehead.

Ellen crouched beside Jo. “Jo, I may be goin’ down with you. Someone’s gotta let them in, and it can’t be either Winchester. Like you said, you ain’t goin’ anywhere. So it’s gotta be me.”

Jo sniffled, staring at her mom. “Mom, no.”

“I promise you I will run like hell to the roof while those hounds get in position, but Jo, you gotta pull the trigger. You start feeling weak or one of those hounds comes at you, you push that button and you blow those dogs back to Hell.” Ellen squeezed Jo’s shoulders, fighting back the tears. “I’m trusting you to do your job. Trust me to do mine.” Jo nodded, and Ellen looked up at Dean and Sam. “You boys go. You gotta be there to take the shot. When I get outta here, I’ll start lookin’ for Cas. Don’t worry about me, you do your job too.” The boys turned to go. “And Dean?” Dean turned back. “Kick it in the ass. Don’t miss.”

 

Lucifer and Castiel waited on opposite sides of the holy fire. When Meg reported in, Lucifer said to leave the Winchesters pinned where they were. Meg stuck around when Lucifer left to begin his work for the ritual. Castiel studied his surroundings, and remembered Uriel’s trick in breaking the Devil’s Trap around Alastair when he saw the pipe.

Meg gloated about how her side was gonna win, and the demons were going to take over Heaven. “We’re goin’ to Heaven, Clarence!”

Castiel shrugged. If she was talking, she wasn’t paying attention to the screws he was loosening on the pipe. He shared Crowley’s theory about Lucifer’s plans for the demons, which Meg wasn’t buying. “Your God may be a deadbeat, but mine… mine walks the Earth.”

Castiel was saved having to reply to that when the pipe came free. There was no water in it, but it did crash Meg through the holy fire, right into Castiel’s arms. He tried to smite her, but it failed. It wasn’t entirely a surprise. She could still be useful, though, as he threw her down and used her as a bridge to cross the ring of holy fire.

 

Dean and Sam had made it to the street when they heard the bomb go off. They turned around, staring for a second, but they had a job to do and were quickly running out of time to do it. As they got to the field, Sam was suddenly overwhelmed by it all. “Any last words?” he asked Dean. Dean looked as scared as Sam felt, but he cracked a joke.

Sam took off, walking through the zombie-like townspeople. He drew Lucifer’s attention long enough for Dean to put the Colt right beside the devil’s head. He didn’t miss.

But as it turns out, Lucifer was one of the very few exceptions to the kill-anything aspect of the Colt. He knocked Dean into a tree, and turned back to Sam once Sam had checked to see if Dean was alive. “I don’t supposed you’d say yes right here and now?”

“That’s _never_ gonna happen!” Sam shouted. Dean was, at least temporarily, dead. Jo was dead. He had no way of knowing, but he had a bad feeling about Cas and Ellen. There was no way he was ever saying yes to the devil who’d killed them all.

“Oh, I think it will,” Lucifer said with a shrug as he went back to digging. “In Detroit… within the next six months.”

“You listen to me, you son of a bitch,” Sam growled. “I am going to kill you myself.”

Lucifer just blew it off with a joke and went back to digging. He explained the ritual to Sam – every man in the city had a demon inside now. The women and children were dead. “You of all people should understand why I have to do this, Sam. I was a son, like you. A brother – a younger brother. And I had an older brother who I idolized. But when I asked him to stand with me… Michael turned on me. Called me a freak. A monster. And then he beat me down, all because I had a mind of my own. Tell me, Sam, any of this sound familiar?”

Sam wanted to deny it, but he really couldn’t. “Yeah. Maybe. But I realized I had made a mistake, and worked things out with Dean. You’re still holding on to yours.”

Lucifer shrugged and went back to his ritual. A sound from Dean had Sam dropping to his knees, helping Dean sit against the tree. The pair watched in horror as the demons who had helped with the ritual finished their chant and, one by one, their heads exploded. Lucifer turned and caught the look on their face. “What? They’re just demons.”

The ground started to rumble, and Sam wrapped an arm around Dean for stability. Suddenly, Castiel was there, finger to his lips as he took them both to the Impala. “Thank God,” he said as he hugged them both. “Dean, I felt your death, are you all right?”

“Yeah, Lucifer packs a hell of a punch,” Dean said, rubbing his neck. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Later,” Cas said. “I felt Jo’s death, as well. Where’s Ellen?”

“Either dead or looking for you,” Sam said. Cas disappeared, returning soon with a badly wounded, but alive, Ellen. “I’ll drive her truck, you take the Impala?” Sam said. “I’d kinda like to get out of this town.”

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

 

Ellen woke up about an hour out of Sioux Falls, and spent the rest of the time silently staring out the window. As Sam parked the truck, Ellen finally roused herself. “Does Bobby know yet?”

“No, we thought you should have the opportunity to do it yourself if that’s what you wanna do,” Sam said. “Dean and I are perfectly willing to do it, if you don’t think you can.”

“No, I… I got this,” Ellen said. “Can you give us some privacy? Kill half an hour or so out here before you boys come in?”

“Yeah. No problem.” Sam headed for the Impala as Ellen went inside.

Castiel was still there, and neither of them seemed surprised when Sam told them Ellen’s request. “Lucifer got me. He tried to convert me, get me to join his cause. I told him no. He left me trapped in the holy fire until I was able to use Meg to get out.”

“Use Meg to get out? How? And is that bitch dead?” Dean said.

Castiel seemed to find that amusing. “Sadly, no. My smiting seems to be gone. But I was able to drop her face first into the ring of fire and walk through the hole. She will be badly injured, and Lucifer may fault her for me getting free and being able to take the two of you to safety. I doubt she’ll be a problem for a while, if ever again. What happened with the Colt?”

Dean held it up. “Turns out? It doesn’t quite kill _anything_. Archangels are among the exceptions. Should’ve known when future me lay dead under Lucifer’s foot. Can’t imagine four years of being a total bag of dicks in a crapsack world would make my aim _worse_.”

“Were we dead too?” Sam asked.

“Cas was, at least by then. Future Me threw him into a meat grinder as a diversion. You…” Dean rubbed his face. “I don’t know, man. You and me hadn’t spoken in years. Rumor was you and Lucifer had some sort of showdown in Detroit, and you didn’t make it.”

“Didn’t make it meaning I died, or didn’t make it meaning I said yes?” Sam asked, going a little pale.

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there, Sam,” Dean said. “You got any idea what we do now?”

“I continue my quest to find God,” Castiel said. “I don’t know of anything else that could stop Lucifer now. So you four keep watching signs and omens, stop Horsemen and other minions when you can. Search the lore for something, anything that we can use.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Dean sank into a moody silence. “Sam, how’s your addiction? You and Cas got things under control?”

“Well, I’m still addicted,” Sam admitted. “But it doesn’t seem to be getting any worse, I don’t feel like I’m taking more blood from Cas. I’m not gonna tempt fate, but I don’t think it’s something we need to worry about right now.”

“That’s my opinion as well,” Castiel said. “We’re as in control as we can be, but it’s best not to test that control unnecessarily.”

“Hmm.” Dean fell back into the moody silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Crowley is entirely too much fun to write and I need to use him more often.
> 
> I never liked that they killed Jo and Ellen this way. For one thing they were awesome and I wanted them around so much more than they were. But specifically: Jo failed. She died before she could set off the bomb. She needed Mommy to bail her out. And that just completely undermined the strength and determination that had always defined Jo, not to mention her frustration with Ellen not letting her grow up that paralleled Sam's frustration with Dean. In my 'verse, I'm letting Jo have her moment. (And, bonus, I get to keep Ellen around to kick some more things in the ass.)
> 
> I don't know if Dean's death here is canon or not. I actually got the idea watching the episode to write this chapter, something about the way Dean hit the tree and Sam's serious rage after made me wonder. But it works, whether it's canon or not.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean go to help an old friend of their dad's, only to discover they have serious problems they have to face within themselves.

The loss of Jo made hanging around Bobby’s house way too quiet. When Dean got a call from Martin, an old friend of John’s, he agreed to take the case even though it meant getting admitted to a psychiatric hospital. They’d busted out of jail before, this couldn’t be harder, right?

“Okay, how do we get admitted?” Sam asked.

Dean grinned. “We tell him the truth. Do you have any idea how crazy the last year and a half will sound to him?”

“Lilith, Ruby, the Apocalypse, Castiel… oh, whoever does our screening is gonna have a really interesting day,” Sam said, laughing. “We should be sure to mention my blood addiction so that if we’re there long enough for me to go into withdrawal, they’ll blame it on psychosomatic symptoms.”

“If I haven’t heard from you two after three days, I’m coming in to check on you,” Castiel said. “We won’t be able to do a normal feeding, but I can get you some blood then.”

“What if someone sees you?” Sam asked. Castiel just looked at him. “Oh, right.”

 

The plan went perfectly. It wasn’t hard to find Martin, who was impressed with how big the boys had gotten. Martin didn’t exactly have a lot to go on, but there was just enough that they were pretty sure something was there. They hadn’t exactly counted on the doctor splitting them up – he thought they were “dangerously codependent” which, Sam had to admit, he couldn’t really argue with.

While Sam was at group, one of the group members claimed to have seen the monster, and actually sounded reasonably credible. Dean, meanwhile, met his psychiatrist, Dr. Erica Cartwright, and had fun with their question and answer session. It was kind of nice not having to lie about why he was asking strange questions, for once, and sure, his answers to her questions made him seem a little off… although he did seem to catch her by surprise when he told her he’d been in his current, stable, happy relationship for over six months. Of course, then he told her his boyfriend was an angel, and that seemed to explain things to her.

While the Winchesters were sharing what they’d learned, a girl came up and started kissing Dean. She gave her name and walked away with a slap on Dean’s ass. “Dude. You cannot hit that,” Sam said, thoroughly amused by the look on Dean’s face. Dean didn’t bother dignifying it with a response.

That night, their reasonably credible witness died right as they were going to talk to him. They snuck off to investigate the body the next day, where they found a hole that went all the way through to his brain. Sam did the surgery and discovered the brain had been sucked dry. They very nearly got caught by one of the nurses, but escaped just in time.

Martin was able to identify the monster as a wraith. The good news: it could be easily killed with silver and spotted in a mirror. The bad news: it could pass as human, so it could be anyone. Dean took up a position near one of the mirrors, where Dr. Cartwright found him. She wanted to know why it had to be him who hunted monsters. “I can’t find anybody else that dumb.” She kept probing, kept wanting to know more. “It’s the damn biblical Apocalypse. And I gotta find a way to stop it. Because if I don’t, then the world ends, and everyone dies.”

“That’s a crushing weight to have on your shoulders,” the doctor said. And didn’t Dean know it. “How do you get up in the morning?”

Dean tried to get the smartass answer out, but instead, he went for honesty. “That’s a good question. Right now, it’s my family. Cas included, of course.” He was gonna say more, but then the doctor who’d admitted them walked by, and Dean saw the wraith reflected in the mirror. Time to go find Sam and make a plan.

 

Sam found three silver-plated letter openers, which was gonna be about the best they could do from inside. As he handed them out, Wendy showed up and this time chose to kiss Sam. “He’s larger,” was the only explanation they got.

“You’ve had worse,” Dean said as he watched her go.

Sam found that he couldn’t argue with that. They made their plans to go after the doctor, failing to convince Martin to overcome his fears from Albuquerque and join them on the hunt. Sam was the one who found the doctor, and he lost control, beating the crap out of two orderlies and nearly killing the doctor even though the first cut wasn’t burning.

By the time Dean got to Sam, his little brother was drugged to the gills. Not too drugged to make sure Dean knew he’d made a mistake, but drugged enough to say that Dean had been half-crazy at least since Hell, probably longer. “Maybe you finally cracked and are for-real crazy. But hey, look at me. It’s okay. Because you’re my brother, and I still love ya.” Dean thanked God that Sam wasn’t drugged enough to be stupid enough to kiss him.

Dr. Cartwright caught up to him as he headed back. At first, it was normal, her trying to convince him to let things go. But then… “These days, you can’t save anybody. You got Jo killed. You shot Lucifer in the face, but you couldn’t gank him. You and your sidekicks killed Lilith, and oh yeah, you broke the first seal. All you do is fail.” An orderly tried to get him to settle down, and that’s when he realized the doctor wasn’t real. She’d never been real. He was going crazy.

 

Sam apologized to the doctor, explaining that he thought he was a monster. “I saw your reflection in one of the mirrors, and you didn’t look human. I realize now that I was just seeing things. I realize that there’s no such thing as monsters.”

At first, the doctor didn’t say anything. “Well, I… I’m glad to hear you say that. But honestly, the monsters are the least of your problems. People can learn to live with delusions. But the anger I saw in you last night… the look in your eyes, it was like you were barely even human. Like a man possessed.”

Well. The doctor was more right than he knew on that one. And Sam knew, from research, from Lucifer’s taunts in his dreams, he knew that his anger would only feed Lucifer, only make him easier to turn. “I know. Doctor, could you… could you give me a second chance?” The doctor agreed, with the condition that he would be supervised, and that there needed to be no more outbursts.

When Sam found Dean, things got bad. “It wasn’t the demon blood. The problem was you. It was always you. The lies, your arrogance, that black spot on your soul.” The other patients gathered around, calling him names, blaming him for the fact that they were all going to die.

 

Dean watched as his brother started swinging at invisible people. Good, it wasn’t just him, then. He went to find Martin. Sam was better at the talking to figure stuff out, at least with him, but they were still able to work out that whatever was wrong with him and Sam, the monster was causing it, because while he and Sam were both probably gonna lose their minds someday, the chances of it being the same day were really bad. They figured out that it had to be spreading poison somehow. “Saliva. Wendy! Wendy slobbered all over me and Sam, the bitch. That has to be how we got infected!”

They turned out to be wrong, as they found the nurse who’d done their entrance exams sitting beside Wendy’s body. Dean checked the mirror: she looked wraithy. “Martin? You see that? Is that real?”

The nurse pulled a spike out of Wendy’s head and licked it. “It’s very real, sweetheart.” She beat the crap out of them, only running when Martin got silver cut across her hand. Martin checked, and Wendy was still alive, so he sent Dean after the wraith. Dean tried to tell Martin he couldn’t, but when the orderlies came and grabbed Martin, there was no other choice.

 

Sam found himself strapped to a bed once he could see straight again. The nurse came in to check on him, and he spotted her reflection. She explained that crazy brains tasted better because of the chemicals. She also explained that she didn’t make them crazy, she just took what was there and ramped it up to eleven.

Dean busted in just as she was about to spike Sam’s brain. They fought, and Dean lost the silver letter opener. Still, he was able to break her spike before she could jam it in, and with that gushing blood, he could get to the silver and stab it into her. And the crazy just melted away – at least, back to normal levels.

They ran as an alarm started to go off. By the time they reached the Impala, they were both a little out of breath. Sam slowed down, thinking about the last couple of days. And when Dean asked, he said he wasn’t all right. “Most of the time I can hide it. But I am angry. I’m mad at everything. First it was Dad, then it was you, Lilith, now Lucifer, and… my anger just makes him stronger and me weaker, Dean. I can blame Ruby and the demon blood all I want, but in the end, it’s me. The anger is mine, and it’s there all the time, and I don’t know why!”

“Okay, stop. Sammy, I know it ain’t healthy, but it’s the Apocalypse. We don’t have time for you to deal with your anger management issues. So you gotta take that anger, and bury it deep. Forget about it and throw away the key, and when we’ve stopped Lucifer, then we can think about doing something to help you. But right now, we gotta keep going, and if the only way to do it is the Winchester way, then that’s what we gotta do. Are you with me?”

Sam hesitated, and Dean repeated his question. “I’m with you. Let’s get out of here.” Sam called Cas on the road, just in time to stop Cas coming after them. Cas got a very abbreviated version of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I missed an update. I'm very sorry. Been dealing with some pretty bad lack-of-energy issues compounded by losing internet the one day I actually felt good. I hope y'all will forgive me.
> 
> This chapter feels kinda weak to me, but it does set up some things that need the setup. Hope y'all will stick with me as I attempt to return to normal schedule!


	12. Adventures in Body Swapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam starts acting weird while on a case, and Dean and Cas have to figure out what the hell's going on before Lucifer does.

Dean was the one who got the call from Donna, a woman who used to babysit them when Dad had to leave them somewhere in the New England area. Her daughter had been attacked by a poltergeist and she needed help dealing with it. They sent the family off on vacation and headed to the local burger place for lunch.

The guy at the counter gave Dean a weird look when he handed over the salad shaker. He handed it over to Sam, who was researching the house. Sam shook it up to spread the dressing, but stopped when he noticed Dean staring at him. “Oh, you shake it up, b… honey. Shake it real good.” Sam shot him the expected bitch face. They talked a little about Donna, and Dean admired the family. “Did you ever think you’d want something like that? Wife, rugrats…”

Sam pulled his attention from the computer to stare at Dean. “Uh, Dean, _Jess_? If she hadn’t died that night, and you hadn’t needed me back on the hunt, I would’ve _done_ something like that. Not anymore, though, I’m happy with what I’ve got going.”

“Huh,” Dean said, wondering how he’d forgotten about that. “What’ve you got on the house?”

“Well, it’s old,” Sam said, glancing between Dean and his laptop, eventually settling on the laptop. “Back in the 1720s, it was owned by an Isaiah Pickett. And, according to a legend I’ve found but have not been able to confirm, he hung a woman named Maggie Briggs for witchcraft. It still leaves a lot of questions, but it’s all I’ve got so far.”

“1720s, that’s a while back. Think the town records would have anything?” Dean asked.

Sam shrugged. “I was gonna go there after lunch, see if I could find anything, but I’m not exactly hopeful.”

 

Sam found nothing, and he called to report that to Dean. They agreed to leave it for the night. That’s when Sam felt the dart in his neck. When he woke up, he was somehow wearing different clothes, including a nametag that read Gary. He started to head for the motel, but was picked up by a deputy sheriff who said his family had sent him. That didn’t sound like Dean, but it was winter in New England and raining. When the deputy offered to take him home, well, he figured if Dean had called in the cops, he must’ve been missing for a while. That didn’t explain why he was calling him Gary Frankel, but between the cold and the drugs, he wasn’t exactly thinking normally.

The deputy took him to a house, and Sam tried to tell the deputy he had the wrong place when a middle-aged couple ran out and claimed to be his parents. He tried to tell them they had the wrong person, but then he caught his reflection in the tinted windows of the deputy’s car. He had no idea who the kid in the reflection was, but it was not him. He let the couple drag him in and put him to bed. He could find Dean in the morning.

 

Dean was pissed when he got back to the hotel room to find Sam just standing there. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling for hours!”

Apparently, it took Sam hours to buy some food. And while he wasn’t going to object to Sam bringing him a bacon cheeseburger and not giving him crap about it, something felt weird. “I’m sorry, man. I lost track of time. I didn’t mean to freak you out.” Getting an apology from Sam? Definitely felt weird. And Sam letting room service in while they had weapons out, well, that was just downright wrong. When Sam asked to drive, and promptly backed Baby into a dumpster, well… as soon as they got somewhere he could get out of earshot, he was calling Cas.

 

Sam left messages on every single one of his and Dean’s phones. Why Dean hadn’t answered any of them, that bugged him. There is no way Dean hadn’t noticed that either Sam was missing or whoever this Gary Frankel was was steering his body. From what little he could tell, he and Gary had little in common. When the motel reported that the two guys checked out in the middle of the night, he knew. And was pissed at Dean.

Searching Gary’s room revealed that Gary had more in common with Dean than Sam, judging by the Star Wars shirt and the porn stash. The porn stash that was covering up the occult paraphernalia. Little satanic bastard was a witch. The family wasn’t helpful either, although Sam did learn that Gary was allergic to gluten. Once away from the breakfast table, though, Gary’s little sister was helpful, telling him where to find the “creepy-ass” book.

 

“Cas, come on, hang up so I can get through, this is a huge emergency,” Dean muttered.

When Castiel picked up, he sounded freaked out. “Dean! I’ve been trying to call you or Sam for hours. You will have several messages on each of your phones, growing progressively more irate. Except this one. This one was always busy when I tried to call it.”

“Okay, I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to get here quickly. There is something deeply wrong with Sammy.” Dean looked over his shoulder, where he could see Sam through the window. Flexing in the mirror. He shuddered and gave Cas the motel information.

Castiel took one look through the window and glared at Dean. “There is indeed something deeply wrong with Sammy. Specifically, a witch has taken his body.”

“Dammit,” Dean said. “Figured it had to be something like that. Or mind control, or drugs. What do I do?”

“Hope he doesn’t notice early withdrawal symptoms, Sam’s a day late for blood. My fault, but that’s why I was so desperate to get hold of you.” Dean glared. He needed useful answers. “Babysit. Don’t let him suspect you know. I’ll try to find a reversal spell, or failing that, at least find Sam.”

Okay, so if this were Sam, what would he do now? Well. Okay. Sending Cas in for a drink was probably a bad idea, as was anything sex-related. That just left going to sleep and then working the case. “Hey, uh, Cas… there a way I can sneak him at least _something_ , just in case this takes a while?”

Cas handed over a vial of blood. “I’m sorry you have to do this. Pour as much of that as you can into something he’ll eat or drink. It won’t hold him forever, but it should be enough to buy us a couple days.”

 

One doctored breakfast later, Dean took Not-Sam to look for Maggie’s tombstone. Whoever this witch was, he had to be local, because he knew a different version of the legend: that Maggie was carrying Isaiah’s illegitimate child and so he killed her and buried her in the basement. He thought he might actually have liked the witch in other circumstances when Not-Sam told him to turn up Bob Seger. Still, he wanted Sam back.

The witch continued to be an irritating mix of helpful and annoying. He wielded his shotgun like he thought it was a video game, but he knew willow moss grew on witch’s graves. He apologized to Dean for something, but before he could say what, Maggie’s ghost slammed him against a wall. He knew he should’ve just stayed and burned the bones, but dammit, that was Sam’s body and who knew what the hell kind of body Sam would be stuck in if he died. Or, for that matter, what would happen if Sam died. Would Lucifer bring the body back? Was it the body or the soul that determined the vessel? Had to be the body, Dean figured. Which meant that he had to stick to Not Sam like glue, no matter how un-Sam-like he was.

The witch wasn’t all useless, though, despite his initial panic. When Maggie went to attack Dean, the guy was able to get over there and burn the bones. He had to go and ruin the moment, though, with a “Dude, that was _sweet_!”

If it were Sam, Sam would be wanting to know why they weren’t out of town by the time Dean found a bar for dinner. He definitely wouldn’t have ordered a bacon double cheeseburger with a fried egg on top. The crack was out before he could think. “Who are you and what have you done with Sammy?”

“What do you mean?” The witch covered well, but Dean knew Sam’s face, and he knew the tells for barely restrained panic.

“Bacon cheeseburgers? Really?” Dean asked. Sure, Sam _would_ eat them, but he’d be more likely to go for the chicken salad Dean had seen on the menu board.

“I eat them, don’t I?” Not-Sam said. “And anyway, we are celebrating!” Well, the real Sam wouldn’t be celebrating a simple salt and burn like this, but Dean could run with it. It was just creepy to see Sam in a good mood, though, so he threw the witch a bone and told him it was weird. “Why shouldn’t I be happy? I got a gun, I’m getting drunk, and I look like this.” Dean was now pretty darn convinced that they were dealing with a kid witch. Still, it was just _wrong_ hearing Sam being cocky about his looks, not that he didn’t have a right to. “Do you ever feel like your future’s being decided for you?”

“Uh, yeah, Sam, I feel like that a lot,” Dean said. God, did this kid not do any research on the guy whose body he was gonna steal? Surely witches had access to something that could have told them that both Sam and Dean would feel like that on a regular basis, what with the Apocalypse and all.

“No matter what you do, you can’t stop the plan,” Not Sam continued. “The stupid, stupid plan.” Okay, that one did sound like Sam, but Sam at sixteen, not now. “Feels nice to get out and do a little ass-kicking for a change.”

“Yeah, I’ll drink to that,” Dean said. Kid had a point there, and really… that point applied to Sam’s life as well. They weren’t having just a whole lot of luck stopping the Apocalypse. The stupid, stupid Apocalypse.

After a while, the witch got up to get more drinks. Dean thought he’d been gone a while, and looked around just in time to see Not Sam walking out the door with some blonde chick. _Crap._ He got up and followed them, because no, Mr. Witch Kid, you were so not going to "do it" with her. “Cas, we got trouble,” he said, calling in the backup. He watched Not Sam go into a hotel, and gave Cas the hotel name and the room where he and Sam were staying.

 

Meanwhile, Sam had gone to school as Gary, because that’s where Gary kept his book. Gary’s friends directed him to his locker, and one eyeroll-inducing search later, Sam found it. He started to head out to find Dean, but the same friends caught him. He saw the gun too late, as another dart went into his neck and dropped him.

He woke up tied up in a basement. And the two teenagers with him were on the phone with Gary – the real Gary – wondering why the hell Dean wasn’t dead yet. Because the plan was to kill him. Apparently, the kids had accidentally contacted a demon, who told them that there was a bounty on Dean Winchester and that Gary figured the best way to get close enough for the kill was to bodysnatch his brother. So now there was a teenage boy in Sam’s body getting up to god knows what, and if he was on the phone with Nora and Trev, then he wasn’t on lockdown from Dean. Which Dean was so going to be hearing about for a very long time. Cas, too, because surely Cas had come to give him blood, or Gary would’ve been freaking out about the tremors by now.

Sam tried to explain to the kids that they did not wanna do this. He was getting through to Nora, but Trev was farther gone than he’d expected, since he was the dumbass who decided that it was a good idea to summon a demon. His Latin was terrible, but the summoning worked as the demon took over Nora. Trev told her where to find Dean, and then the demon recognized him, too. And realized that Sam’s meatsuit must be with Dean. If Trev survived this, Sam just might kill him himself. But then Trev got greedy, and stupid, and demanded his due reward. Sam couldn’t disagree with the demon that death was, in fact, what Trev had earned.

 

Cas and Not Sam arrived in the motel room, Cas looking pissed and Not Sam scared. “He was on the phone when I found him. He’s planning to kill you.”

“All right, kiddo. I’ve known you weren’t Sammy all day, so talk.” Dean folded his arms across his chest, hoping he wouldn’t have to hurt Sam to get information. He used the hotel phone to play the messages for the kid. “Seriously. Start. Talking.”

“Okay! Don’t… don’t hurt me. Your brother’s in my friend’s basement. His parents are out of town,” the kid said. Cas nodded to Dean and took off. “My name’s Gary and I’m seventeen and I just wanted to break free of my demanding family.”

Dean was about to protest the stupidity of that, but the demon came in then. She knocked him down, and he faked being out. Sadly, the demon was smart, and knew what she could do with this kid in Sam’s body. Dean waited until she was distracted to grab the knife and go for her, but it didn’t work. Fortunately, while she was beating on him, she was not alerting Lucifer to their location. And Gary apparently realized he’d done bad, and he started an exorcism. Dean picked up where he left off when the demon turned her attention to him, and between the two of them they got the demon out.

Cas returned with Sam, and the Winchesters convinced Gary to reverse the body swap spell. They also convinced Gary to stop with the spells, because if he were adult, what he’d done would mean ganking. They dropped him off at home, Nora with him, and Sam encouraged him to take a bit of control of his life, rebel a little against the plan, and wake up and see the girl likes him. “I’m telling you, kid, I wish I had your life.”

Dean looked over at Sam in disbelief. Once the kid was inside, he couldn’t hold it back any more. “You do?”

“Oh, hell no,” Sam said. “We missed out on a lot of stuff as kids, sure. I wish a lot of things were different about my past, but I would so not go back and do it all over again if given the chance. No one needs to do adolescence twice.”

“Hah! Truth.” Dean turned the car on, and Sam jumped at the volume. Dean turned it down. “Welcome back, Kotter.”

“Speaking of welcome back. What the _hell_ took so long figuring out it wasn’t me?” Sam said. “Used to be you’d have known within an hour, and the only reason it would take that long is because even for us, body-swap is not the first explanation for someone acting weird.”

“Not even in the top five,” Dean agreed. “Well, for one thing, when you said you’d be back in a few minutes and weren’t back half an hour later, I spent the next three looking for you. Once I got back and actually found you, it took like five minutes. Bit longer to get somewhere I could call Cas in to confirm between body swap or possession, took him one glance. Kid stole all the cell phones, I didn’t get your messages for a while.”

“So, I was Gary for twenty-four hours because…” Sam prompted.

“Because one, we didn’t know who the hell had your body, could’ve been a much stronger witch, we didn’t want to tip him off until we knew we had a way to get you back in here. Two, if we had tipped him off even Gary might have run away, in which case your meatsuit is out there with some kid in it just waiting for Lucifer to find it before I did. And three, we had a case to solve. Turned out the kid’s done a lot of research on Maggie Briggs, knew where she was buried.” Something occurred to Dean then. “I think Maggie saved my life, Gary had just apologized for something when she attacked, could be he had the shotgun I gave him pointed my way. Point is, we knew you weren’t you and we were coming for you.” Dean flashed a grin. “Besides, it was kinda nice hearing the words ‘I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger’ and ‘turn it up’ comin’ out of your mouth.”

“What?” Sam said. “I ate a bacon cheeseburger?”

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t the worst thing you did,” Dean said. “I sent you up to the bar to get drinks, you didn’t come back, I saw you leaving with some blonde.”

“WHAT?” Sam stared in horror. “You put a stop to that, didn’t you? Please tell me…”

“I dunno, you’ll have to ask Cas,” Dean said. “He’s the one who actually got you out of there, I did not trust myself not to hurt the girl or demonstrate that you are so spoken for already. Cas didn’t look any more pissed than he was when he saw you weren’t you, but… it’s Cas. Who knows.”

“Oh, God, that…” Sam shivered. “Anything else I should know about besides needing to get tested and… okay, one bacon cheeseburger isn’t gonna do much, and if it was more than one just… don’t tell me.”

“Nah, think we covered all the important things,” Dean said. “Aside from thank God you’re back, even if you don’t like good music or good food. Wait – Cas gave me some blood, I dosed your breakfast, but you’ll probably need more soon.”

Cas dropped in. “You’ll need more as soon as we stop for a while.”

“Hey, Cas,” Sam said, turning around. “Thanks for the rescues. Both of them, from what Dean tells me.”

“I think I got there in time, with that woman,” Castiel said. “She was out of the room retrieving her… equipment… while you were cuffed to the bed. Dean called me in quickly, so I’m hoping there wasn’t time for anything too problematic.”

Sam shivered. “Good. I know you two wouldn’t hold it against me, but… I kinda feel bad for that woman. She’s got to be so confused.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this episode. I took a great deal of pleasure in getting to rewrite it. But I want to hunt down the writers and get an explanation for Dean's behavior in this episode, because I don't care *how* fucked up he is because of the Apocalypse and not being able to find his faith in Sam, how the HELL did he not figure out something was terribly wrong with Sam when Sam backed the Impala into a dumpster because he didn't seem to know he was in reverse?
> 
> Why in the world would Dean ask Sam if he'd ever thought about having the normal wife and kids and house? Was he not paying attention to the pilot episode? The pretty girl that Sam was going to marry and live a normal life with, and Azazel couldn't have that, so he killed?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel takes Sam and Dean back in time to prevent them from never being born. Hijinks ensue.

Dean was dreaming. Two dancers were performing, one in a sexy angel costume and one in a sexy devil costume. The dance was interrupted by a familiar person. “Anna?” It was kind of awkward, especially when he brought up Cas.

“Cas. Right. Now there’s a reliable ally,” Anna said bitterly.

Dean looked at her in confusion. “Huh? He’s been nothing but solid for me and Sammy.”

“So he didn’t tell you where I’ve been?” Dean looked blank, and Anna sighed. “Prison. Upstairs. All the torture, twice the self-righteousness.”

“Why wouldn’t Cas have told us?” Dean asked, looking stricken. It’s not like they could’ve done just a whole lot, but at least they’d have known.

Anna almost looked sorry as she said, “Because he’s the one who turned me in.” She gave him an address, a place to meet her.

Dean woke up. First thing he did was call Cas. “Why would you betray Anna?”

“Betray… I didn’t tell you?” Castiel asked.

“Anna just contacted me in a dream, told me you handed her over to angel jailers,” Dean said, wondering how Castiel could have forgotten to mention selling out his former commander.

“It was after my own trip in angel jail,” Castiel said. “When I was back to being the good little soldier. My penance for my ‘crimes’ against Heaven was to arrange for Anna’s capture, and to let Sam out of the panic room at the appropriate time so he could find Ruby and be at the church in Ilchester. Unfortunately, I betrayed Anna before I heard Zachariah and Ruby’s conversation.”

Dean felt much better about that. “Okay, good. So we catch Anna up on your rebellion.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Castiel said. “You saw what they were able to do to me in only a few days, your time. What do you think they’ve done to her in the months since then? She’s a seraph, stronger than I am, but they’ve had her for much, much longer.”

“Cas… it’s Anna. If she can be an ally for us, we have to take this chance. One angel on our side’s good, but two’s better,” Dean said.

“I’ll go. Find out what she wants. If she was sent to kill the three of us, I’m the one who has the best chance at getting out alive. Where’s the meeting?”

 

Castiel found the Winchesters’ motel room. They were both on him immediately, wanting to know what Anna wanted. “I’m sorry. What she plans is not acceptable.”

“Why not?” Dean demanded. “What’s she wanting from us?”

Castiel looked between the two. “She wants to kill Sam. Scatter his cells across the universe so that Lucifer could never find enough of him to bring him back.”

Dean punched the wall. “You told her no, I hope.”

“Several times, several ways. I think she finally got the message when I told her that despite everything we’ve been through together, if she comes near Sam, I will kill her myself.”

Sam looked startled. He got up and pulled Cas into a hug. “I appreciate it, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. I know how much Anna means to you.”

“So Anna’s gone all Glenn Close on us, huh?” Dean asked. “What do we do?”

“Who’s Glenn Close?” Castiel asked, finding his chalk and beginning to inscribe a sigil on a table.

“No one. Just a psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits.” Dean walked away.

Sam sat on the corner of the bed, thinking out loud. “Would it work? Anna’s plan to kill me, would it actually stop Lucifer?” Dean tried to shut him down, of course. “I wasn’t asking you. Cas, does Anna have a point?”

“No,” Castiel said, not hesitating. “She’s a… Glenn Close.” He finished his sigil and prepared the ingredients for his spell.

Dean looked over. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to find Anna,” Castiel said. “I can’t watch over Sam every second; quite aside from the literal impossibility, we’d all go insane if I tried. So as much as I don’t want to… we need to kill her first.” He chanted in Enochian, and threw the sand into the bowl. It shot a pillar of red flame, and Castiel staggered backward. When his head cleared… “I found her. She’s in Lawrence, Kansas, in 1978.”

“Why 1978?” Sam asked. “I wasn’t even born yet!”

“Anna can’t get to you because of me,” Castiel said. “So she’s going after your parents instead. If she can kill them, if you’re never born…”

“Take us back,” Dean said immediately.

Castiel shook his head. “It’s not that easy. I know they’re your parents, but I don’t know if I can. Even with the full power of Heaven at my disposal, time travel wasn’t easy. Now…”

“You have to pull from your own batteries, and if you drain them too far, they might not recharge,” Sam said. “Which, aside from all the other problems that would cause, would strand us in 1978.”

“Strand me,” Castiel said. “Assuming I survive. Michael and Lucifer would eventually figure it out and bring you back to your own time.”

“Cas, they’re our parents, and our lives at stake,” Dean said. “What happens if you get back and you’re too weak to do anything to stop her? You need to take us, because even if you run into trouble, we’ll be okay.”

Castiel nodded, and the three of them packed their weapons duffles. Cas touched their foreheads, and suddenly they were in the middle of the street. Two of them were, anyway. They found Cas coughing up blood on the side of the road. They got him to a hotel, paid for five nights. Hoped that would be enough.

Sam found the address, and they went to visit their folks. “What do we tell them, that their sons are back from the future to save them from an angel gone Terminator? Those movies aren’t even out yet!”

Mary was not exactly pleased to see Dean, and told him to get out of her normal life. Before they could, though, John came over. Dean spun a story about being cousins, and John was so excited to meet Mary’s family that he insisted they come in.

Sam, of course, had to go and make things awkward. Dean barely held back the facepalm when the first words Sam had said since the door opened were to say how beautiful his mother was. “Mary looks a lot like our mom. She died when we were little, and Sam hasn’t seen Mary since he was a baby.” Sam gave him a grateful look. Dean explained that they’d known Samuel Campbell pretty well.

Mary was once again trying to get rid of them when they were interrupted by a phone call. John took the call, and Mary insisted the boys leave. They warned her about the angel coming for her and John. “There’s no such thing,” Mary protested.

“I wish.” Sam elbowed him. “Okay, fine, there is one exception. The point is they’re stronger than demons and, believe it or not, even bigger dicks.” Dean was at least able to convince Mary that they needed to find somewhere else to be, and when Mary asked what to tell John, they realized John wasn’t there.

They found John at the garage where he worked, with Anna throwing him around. Dean and Mary joined the fight, Mary managing to get a crowbar through Anna. Well, at least now Mary would fully believe. “Sorry, but it’s not that easy to kill an angel.”

“No,” Sam said, “but you can distract them.” He slammed his bloody palm into the banishing sigil he’d drawn. The irony that he’d learned that trick from Anna didn’t escape him.

 

Mary told John the big secret as they were driving out of town. John did not take it well, and Sam couldn’t help but be amused at John protesting the existence of monsters. Mary directed them to a cabin that had been in her family for generations. She didn’t have anything that would help angel-proof the place, but that’s why Dean and Sam had brought their stash.

Sam took Mary to put out the holy oil. John demanded that Dean tell him how to do the banishing sigils, and when Dean tried to protest, he picked up a knife and cut open his hand. “All of a sudden, you kinda remind me of my dad,” Dean said as he took John over to show him how big to make it.

A bit later, Sam went to check on John. “How long have you known about this hunting stuff?” John wanted to know.

Sam looked away for a minute, trying to figure out how to answer that one. “Dean told me when I was eight, but even before then, my dad had been training me since I was able to walk. He raised my brother and me in it.”

“What kind of irresponsible bastard does that to a kid?” John demanded, and Sam’s irony meter just about broke. “You could’ve been killed!”

“I came close a time or two,” Sam admitted. He decided to take the chance here to say some things he wished he could say to the father who’d known him. “I used to be so angry at him, hell, for a while there I hated him. But I get now that he was doing the best he could. A demon killed Mom when I was a baby, Dean was four. He kind of… went a little nuts. But he was trying to do what he thought was best for us, and I never got to tell him any of this because he died to save Dean. And I was so angry, and so worried about Dean, that I never got to tell him that I loved him, that I forgave him for the fight we’d had where we didn’t speak to each other for damn near five years.”

John nodded. “I had a lot of unfinished business with my father, too. I know how that weighs on your mind.”

 

Dean went to find Mary, who demanded the explanation. Dean tried to blow her off, but she insisted. So, what the hell. “I’m your son. Sorry. I don’t know how else to say it. Sam and me are from 2010. An angel – the exception Sam made me add to the angels are dicks – zapped us back here.” Mary didn’t believe, until Dean told her a bunch of details he remembered from early childhood. He tried to warn her about the fire, but Sam interrupted.

“The demon will find her, find me, no matter where she runs,” Sam said. “Only thing she can do is to leave John. So that we’re never born.”

“It’s a lot better than dying,” Dean agreed. “We’re okay with it.”

Mary continued to resist, to protest. “Look, I know you want the normal life so bad. I did, too. Right up until the girl I intended to marry was killed while I watched helplessly. It’s the truth of a hunter’s life – only way out is bloody.”

“You don’t understand,” Mary protested. “I can’t leave John, because it’s too late. I’m pregnant.”

Sam closed his eyes. “That’s Dean in there. The world, you, John… things will be okay with Dean existing. But you gotta leave John, or get your tubes tied, or whatever, so that I’m not. I can’t be born, Mary. If I am, then angels and demons get to use me in their plans to turn the Earth into their battlefield.”

“Why you?” Mary asked.

“It’s not me,” Sam said. “It’s the combination. Dean and me. We can’t both exist. Dean’s older, so he’s the one that gets to be born. I’m good with it, and Dean…”

“Isn’t, but once you change the timeline, I won’t know any different,” Dean interrupted. “Mary, you gotta do this.”

John interrupted them to report that the sigils had disappeared. Mary checked the holy oil: also gone. An angel walked in, and identified himself as Uriel. “Oh, come on, didn’t Cas already kill you?” Dean complained. Sam tried to get John and Mary out, but Anna blocked the escape. Dean went for Uriel. Sam went for Anna. It didn’t go well. Uriel got Dean by the throat, and Anna threw John threw a window.

Then things went worse. Anna ripped a metal bar from the wall and drove it through Sam. Sam collapsed, and Dean’s heart broke as he watched his brother die. Again. Anna approached Mary, but then John came back in. Except he wasn’t exactly John anymore, he was Michael.

Michael put Mary to sleep and sent Uriel away. “I’d say this conversation is long overdue,” Michael said.

“Fix him,” Dean said, voice breaking.

“First, we talk,” Michael said. “Then I fix your darling little Sammy.” After some pleasantries about the big question, Michael got to the point. “I just want you to understand what you and I have to do. Lucifer defied our Father, and he betrayed me. Still, I don’t want this any more than you would want to kill Sam. I practically raised my brother. I took care of him in ways most people couldn’t understand, just like you and Sam. And I still love him. But I am going to kill him, because that’s how this has to end. Father knew this was how it was going to end, and I am a good son.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Take it from someone who knows, that is a dead-end road.”

“And you think you know better than my Father?” Michael asked. “One unimportant little man. What makes you think you get to choose?”

“Because I gotta believe that I get to choose what I do with my unimportant little life,” Dean said.

Michael paused a second, but only a second. “You’re wrong. Think of all the random chances that had to happen for John and Mary to exist, for you and Sam to be born. Think of all the random choices that you make, and how each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny. It’s not random. It’s not chance. It’s a plan, and it is playing itself out perfectly.” Michael went on to explain the “favor” he would do John and Mary: scrub their minds, so they wouldn’t remember any of their interactions with their sons. Dean saw it for what it was, but he couldn’t stop it. And then, Michael sent them home.

 

“Sammy?” Dean called when he stabilized. Sam came out and Dean wrapped him up in a hug. “You gotta quit dyin’ on me, man.”

Sam shook his head as he eventually pulled back. “Hey, at least Anna didn’t get the chance to scatter my cells across the universe,” he joked. “You okay? What happened while I was dead?”

“Michael possessed Dad and we had a fun little chat about how free will is an illusion and I’m gonna say yes,” Dean said. “Another one of those boring-ass comparisons between us and them, although Michael doesn’t seem to get that I grew out of my ‘good son’ phase when Dad told me I might have to kill you. His dad tells him to kill the brother who’s much more than just a brother to him, and he’s gonna do it. Dick.” Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder. “I need a drink. You stay here, watch for Cas, I’m gonna go get some booze.”

Cas showed up while Dean was pouring the drinks. Sam saw him first and caught him as he started to collapse. With Dean’s help, they managed to get him to the bed, tucked in. “So this is it. Team Free Will.” Dean held up his glass. “One blood junkie, a high school dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose over there.”

“You forgot the crippled drunk and the mama bear who lost her cub,” Sam said. “But really, it’s not funny, is it.”

“I’m not laughing,” Dean agreed.

Sam let out a long breath. “They all say we’ll say yes.”

“I know,” Dean said. “It’s getting annoying.”

“Dad did. To save Mom, yeah, but if we could have saved her? If it was the only way we could see to save Cas or Bobby or Ellen? Dad didn’t know the stakes, he’s not the true vessel, but… I’ve been weak before.” Sam stared at his whiskey. “Guess we’re here till he wakes up, huh?”

“Yeah.” Dean looked at Sam. “You gonna be okay?”

Sam took a minute, but he figured out what Dean meant. “I’m gonna have to be, aren’t I. I can’t bleed him while he’s out like this, who knows what that would do to him.”

“Cas would want you to,” Dean said. “Your decision, but if things start getting really bad before he wakes up, Cas would want you to drink. It’s like when we went after Lilith, one of us being out of the fight is better than two out, especially since I can’t do this alone. I can’t do this without you and him, Sammy.”

“You won’t have to,” Sam said. “Cas’ll wake up. I’m not gonna say he’ll be fine, I don’t know, but he got himself back here. He didn’t look any worse when he got here than he did when he got us there, and he wasn’t carrying passengers. He’ll wake up.” Sam wasn’t quite sure whether it was Dean he was trying to convince or himself. Didn’t really matter, neither of them quite believed it.

Cas finally did wake up two days later, and the first thing he did was yell at Sam for putting himself through the withdrawal. Dean tried to keep the told-you-so to a minimum, but he _was_ an older brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the show, Mary says it's too late for her to leave John and save the world by not having kids. But she's pregnant with Dean. If Sam's never born, Lucifer doesn't get his vessel, Azazel doesn't feed him the blood, Ruby doesn't manipulate him into opening the Cage, no Apocalypse. Mary has four years to figure out how not to get pregnant again. I don't understand the show's logic on it being too late.
> 
> And yes, I know, Cas didn't kill Uriel, Anna did. ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are called in on a disgusting case and discover a town losing itself to addiction and vice.

The newspaper article sounded ridiculous, but then, when didn’t they? A couple who ate each other to death was weird even for them, Dean and Sam both had to admit. Sam talked to the witness, nearly throwing up a little when she said the guy was still chewing, but got nothing useful out of her. Dean got the job of checking out the bodies, which pretty much ruined his appetite.

“Their stomachs were full. Like, Thanksgiving dinner full.” Dean shook his head. “Talk about codependent.”

“You know that’s what everyone says about us,” Sam teased. “Do I have to start ripping chunks out of you to eat?”

“Think Cas could patch me up after, or would that be too much for him?” Dean took a swig of his beer. “Seriously, though, if it’s not possession, what the hell makes a person let someone else eat them?”

“No idea.” Sam sat down and grabbed some files. “So I know Cas can’t come, he’s busy tracking down something or other in South America, but do you wanna do… something?”

Dean looked at Sam blankly. “Huh?”

“Valentine’s Day,” Sam said, starting to get a little worried. “Always been your favorite holiday, Unattached Drifter’s Christmas, remember? Just don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out.”

“Huh.” Dean opened another beer. “I dunno, Sam. Hadn’t even realized what day it was. Guess I’m just not feelin’ it this year.”

Now Sam was really worried. “You okay, Dean? You’ve been a little… moody, lately. Something wrong?”

“Guess I’m just getting old,” Dean said. “We’ve been busting our asses for months, Sam, and there’s no end in sight. I’m tired. At the risk of sounding like Gabriel… I just want this to be over.”

 

Later that evening, a call came in about another double suicide. As they were walking in to check it out, Sam passed a man carrying a briefcase. Something about the man smelled extremely familiar. “Dean, there’s demon blood around,” Sam whispered. “Maybe case related, maybe not, but I can smell it.”

“Okay, well, stick close and we’ll call Cas later today,” Dean said. “You okay?”

“Yeah, think so,” Sam said, but he couldn’t get the smell out of his nose. Thankfully, the smell of dead body parts helped a lot. The coroner was perfectly happy to let them look at the bodies, as long as they got everything back in the refrigerator.

“Hey,” Dean said, pushing the Tupperware containing the guy’s heart over to Sam. “Be my Valentine?”

Sam rolled his eyes, but took the heart anyway. He was glad he did when he spotted the marking, but when he looked at it under the microscope… “We gotta call Cas _now_. That looks Enochian. And if there’s Enochian on the hearts of these two…”

“There’s probably something angelic going on,” Dean sighed. “All right, I’ll call Cas.” He pulled out his phone and speed-dialed. “Cas, it’s us, we need you here. Basement, room 31-C, St. James Medical Center.”

“I’m there now,” Cas said. Sam bit back a laugh at the look on Dean’s face as he clearly heard it in stereo.

Sam pushed the hearts over to Cas, who confirmed Sam’s theory of angels. Sam was not expecting Castiel to say this was the work of a cupid gone rogue. Apparently, cupids were actually cherubs, and Castiel felt the need to clarify that they were not incontinent.

Castiel took them to a bar, or in his words, a “nexus of human reproduction”. Things started to get a little weird when Dean dropped his burger, not hungry. Things got a lot weird when Castiel ate it for him. Before they could ask, though, Castiel suddenly went alert. “He’s here.” He pointed out a couple that had just gone from romantic to nauseating in the PDA. “Meet me in the back.”

In the back, they met the cupid. If by met, you mean got hugged extremely enthusiastically by. When he broke down sobbing, though, they realized that he hadn’t meant for his couples to kill each other, he was just following Heaven’s orders. Castiel read his mind, which settled the matter.

“Why does Heaven care if Harry meets Sally?” Dean asked.

“Mostly, they don’t,” the cupid said. “But sometimes, certain bloodlines, certain destinies… oh, like yours!”

“Ours. Cas, is he…” Dean said, suddenly feeling sick.

“No. Your parents, not you,” Castiel clarified. “And cupids can’t affect me.”

“It wasn’t easy, either,” the cupid said. “John Winchester and Mary Campbell couldn’t _stand_ each other when they first met! But when we were done with them… perfect couple.”

“They’re dead,” Dean snapped. Not that it was the cupid’s fault, but if John and Mary had been left alone, Mary wouldn’t have made the deal that killed her and John wouldn’t have gone nuts because of Mary’s death. The cupid made a couple of bad jokes, and Dean threw a punch. The cupid took off.

“What is wrong with you, Dean?” Sam asked. “You punched a cupid!”

“I punched a dick.” Dean looked between Sam and Cas. “We’re done here, I’m out. Goin’ back to the motel.”

Sam watched him go. “He’s been like that since we got here,” Sam explained to Cas. “It’s really starting to worry me. Has he seemed off to you?”

Castiel nodded. “Come on, we should go finish our meals.” Once they were settled, Cas said, “He’s seemed depressed since Jo died.”

Sam nodded. “I thought it was just losing Jo and losing what we thought was our best chance at Lucifer, but if it were that, he should be getting better, not worse.”

 

The coroner called Sam with another weird death: a man who had eaten enough Twinkies to kill himself. Dean checked in with the police, and found there had been eight suicides and nineteen overdoses in the past five days. Obviously, whatever was going on here, it wasn’t just love.

The smell of demon blood hit Sam, and looking around, he saw the man with the briefcase across the street. Sam ambushed him, used the knife to cut him a couple of times. Just when Sam was starting to lose it, the demon dropped the briefcase and ran.

Sam brought the briefcase back to the motel. “I ran into the demon again. We fought, he dropped this. I didn’t drink.”

“But you wanted to?” Dean said, knowing the answer already.

“Yeah. I’m okay. I’ll be all right, just need to keep breathing clean air,” Sam said.

Dean looked at the briefcase, and they decided to open it. The rush of power, the gleaming light, left them reeling. Castiel arrived with a bag of hamburgers to tell them it was a human soul. “It’s all starting to make sense. This town isn’t suffering from love gone wrong, it’s suffering from hunger. Starvation. Famine.”

“Like the Horseman,” Sam realized. “I thought famine just meant food. Which explains you and Twinkie Man, and maybe that couple that first brought us here, but…”

“Everyone has something that they’re starved for,” Castiel said. “For me, it appears to be red meat, I guess from my vessel. For others… a drug. Love. Alcohol. Anything that can be taken to an extreme.”

“You said Jimmy wasn’t still in there,” Sam said. “How can his desires be affecting you?”

Castiel turned away. “He’s not. But a physical thing like hunger… I don’t eat, but Jimmy’s organs still exist, still have a job to do. Why red meat specifically… I’m sorry, Sam, but the hamburger looked better than the salad. And once I’d started…” Castiel stopped and recited the verses about Famine. “He’s hungry. And he feeds on the souls of his victims. Lucifer’s demons are here to care for Famine. To make certain he’s ready to march across the land.”

“Okay, but… what the hell do we do now?” Dean asked. With a little prompting from Castiel, Dean came up with the plan: get to Famine and take his ring.

Sam came out of the bathroom, shaking, feeling withdrawal far worse than he should be by now. “Dean, I can’t go. The demon blood.” Cas had his blade in his hand immediately, held out to Sam. “No. Cas, I don’t think I could stop. I should still be fine, this is just Famine’s effect. You and Dean get the ring, I’ll be fine.”

“We need to lock you down, Sammy?” Dean asked. “Cas, can you get him to Bobby’s?”

“Bad idea,” Castiel said. “If Sam leaves this town, he’d spread Famine’s poison wherever I took him. We need to keep this contained.”

 

Dean and Cas left Sam cuffed to the sink in the bathroom, with a heavy wardrobe in front of the door. At the coroner's office, they discovered the coroner had drunk himself to death. Dean felt a little bad about it, he liked the doctor and wanted better for him, but the best way to find Famine was to follow the soul.

The flutter of wings had Dean looking over to find Cas gone. He returned with a bag of burgers. Cas admitted he’d eaten somewhere in the low hundreds of them. “What I don’t understand: where’s your hunger, Dean? You seem unaffected.”

Dean shrugged. “I take care of my hungers when they come up. I want food, I get a burger. I want sex, I find you or Sammy. I want a drink, I get one. Or a fight, or whatever else comes up. Not saying I’m well-adjusted. Just well-fed.”

Cas looked like he might argue with that, but he pointed to a man coming out of the office. They followed the SUV he got into to a Biggerson’s, where Cas took the knife and went in to cut off the ring hand. Dean waited. He waited nearly thirty seconds before deciding it was taking too long and went in after Cas.

He went in through the back, sneaking through the ridiculous corpses and trying not to be disgusted. Cas was in there, digging into the containers of raw ground beef that became burgers and stuffing it into his mouth. He was too busy watching Cas to stay properly alert, so he got captured by demons and taken to the big man himself.

Famine talked to him, exchanged a few pleasantries about Castiel and the plan, how much he loved America. “Hunger isn’t just of the body,” Famine said. “It’s also of the soul.”

“Doesn’t seem to be comin’ from mine,” Dean said.

Famine nodded. “Yes, have you wondered about that? How you can even walk in my presence?” Famine rolled toward him, placed a hand on his chest. “I see. That’s one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. But then, that’s what you wanted, isn’t it. To feel nothing, to be nothing. That was your hunger, and I can’t make it worse because once there’s nothing, there’s nothing to take away. You’re not hungry, Dean, because inside… you’re already dead.”

 

Meanwhile, Sam was growing increasingly single-minded, starting to try to break free. Thankfully, the pipe seemed to be strong, and the handcuffs were theirs and well cared for. It didn’t save him when the two demons came in, but to Sam’s surprise, they didn’t try to hurt him. They set him free.

Sam tried to fight, conjured up Cas, Dean, Bobby, Ellen, even Jess, trying to hold out, but when the glass cut the female’s neck… it was over. Sam drank them both dry.

The scent of demon blood led him to the Biggerson’s, just in time to hear Famine say his brother was already dead inside. “Let him go.”

Famine turned around. Dean looked heartbroken, Cas disappointed. Sam himself was both of those things. Famine, on the other hand, looked pleased. “I see you got the snack I sent you. You’re the exception, Sam, you’ll never die from drinking too much. Just as Lucifer wanted.” Famine raised his hands shakily and offered the demons in the room to Sam.

Sam raised his hand. “Sammy, no,” Dean cried, but Sam just reached out. He ripped the demons from their hosts and told Famine no. Famine just shrugged and ate the demons himself, which turned out to be a mistake. Sam’s powers didn’t work on Famine, it was true. But his powers could rip the undigested demon souls from his stomach. Blood dripped down his nose as he kept pulling, kept tearing at the demons until the Horseman was dead.

Dean stared at Sam in shock, Castiel in awe, but all Sam could think about was what was going on in his blood. It felt like it was boiling, like he was dying. It had been building since he drank, but when he actually reached for his powers, it had gone crazy. He collapsed, screaming, a twitching heap on the floor.

Castiel ran to him, reaching for him. “He’s in trouble,” he said. “Dean, I need to get him to the panic room, _now_. I’ll tell you what’s going on when you get there.” Cas touched Sam’s forehead and Sam fell unconscious.

 

Dean drove like the world was ending. Okay, the world had been ending for a while. But Sam… Famine hadn’t been wrong. He’d been hungry to feel nothing. Now, the despair, the hopelessness… it was all back, and one of the few reasons he kept going was possibly dying.

Bobby and Ellen got out of the way as Dean ran down the stairs to the panic room. “Cas, is he…”

Castiel came to meet him, holding on to him like a desperate man. “Sam is alive. For now. When this started, I feared that a potential consequence might be that the demon blood would fight with my blood. Sam and I both thought the risk was acceptable considering what would happen if he stayed on the demon blood. He’s never had sufficient quantities of both to power his abilities before, and this can’t have been easy.”

Dean stared at the door. “What do we do?”

“Nothing,” Castiel said. “We can’t do anything for him; he needs to burn it out of his system. I suppose the good news is that once this is done, he’ll be clean. He won’t need my blood anymore. This won’t ever happen again.”

“Unless Sam breaks again,” Dean said.

“He won’t.” Castiel sounded absolutely positive. “Famine offered him more, he had to be wanting it, and he said no. I couldn’t have done it. I cannot imagine circumstances extreme enough for him to break again.”

Dean wasn’t so sure. Yes, Famine’s influence had been strong, he didn’t doubt that. But it was Lucifer after Sam, and Famine worked for Lucifer. Lucifer was stronger. Lucifer could probably come up with another way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the grossness of some of the deaths, this is one of my favorite episodes. There are just no words for how awesome Sam standing up to Famine is, and I wish the show would actually acknowledge that. I like Never_x_Better's explanation from her awesome story Comfort (that if you haven't read you should go read NOW) that it was Famine saying Sam was the exception to the rule and Sam was just that tired of being the freak giving him the strength.


	15. Dead or Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby starts acting squirrely and a zombie apocalypse begins in Sioux Falls.

Ellen insisted on going with Sam and Dean on Sam’s first mission back. It had taken nearly a week for Sam to stop screaming, and then a couple more to recover from the blood-induced damage and the dehydration and starvation from not being able to eat while ill. It was a good thing Ellen came, too, as the trio of demons they were expecting turned out to be a scout party for a somewhat larger group. The three of them were pretty badly beaten up by the time they were done, so they stopped off in town for coffee and patching themselves up. There they heard about a weird death – a man had been killed by someone he’d shot five years back.

“Bobby ain’t answering,” Ellen said after she’d tried calling him for the third time. “Guess we gotta get the investigation started without him.”

As they interviewed the witness, the sheriff walked in. “You boys playing FBI again?” Jody said, swatting Sam on the back of the head because he was closer. “Get out of here before I have to take official notice. Tell Bobby I said hey.”

“Thanks, Sheriff Mills,” Sam said. “We will.” Fortunately, they’d gotten a pretty definitive ID from the witness already – and confirmation of the motive.

Bobby waved off the case, saying he’d looked into it and found it was nothing really. “Now, what has happened here recently is a spell gone wrong, I was tryin’ to scry something and it blew up on me. Released some bad stuff into the air. I was here when it happened, I’m as affected as I’m gonna get, but you three shouldn’t stay here until it’s had a chance to clear out.”

Ellen just shook her head. “You messed up a spell bad enough that we gotta clear out. YOU.”

“Yep. Wish I had a good reason like Cas pulling one of his heart-attack moments at just the wrong time, but I think I just had some bad mugwort. Looked a bit off, but I couldn’t exactly go to the store and get more.” Bobby shrugged. “Seriously, go on, I’ll let you know when it’s safe.”

As they drove to the local hotel, Dean pulled the Impala over at the cemetery. “I know Bobby said he checked it out, but the man’s in a wheelchair. He can’t have dug up the grave to see if there’s a body in there, and I can’t imagine him managing to find someone to do it for him. So how about we go check, see if there’s fresh digging around, have a look?”

“There’s something fishy goin’ on in this town, and with Bobby,” Ellen agreed. “Bad mugwort my ass.”

Sam grabbed the shovels, and they found the grave. Sure enough, it was freshly disturbed, and the coffin was empty. They actually found the guy at his house, and he admitted to murdering the guy who’d killed him. Unfortunately, as they were leaving, they ran into Sheriff Mills. “Undead killer zombie or not, you don’t have the right to shoot him in the middle of the street,” she informed them as she pulled out the cuffs.

Bobby came and talked to Jody. It was mostly for show; Jody knew just enough about what Bobby really did to give him a bit of leeway, and she’d known Ellen and the Winchesters for a while now. As they headed out, Ellen stopped right in front of Bobby’s chair. “All right, Singer. What the hell’s goin’ on here?”

“Five days ago, the dead started rising all over town,” Bobby said. “They ain’t hurt nobody, well, except for Clay. But that’s nothing to do with him being a zombie and more to do with him havin’ been murdered and wanting to get revenge.”

“And we know it’s going to stay that way because…?” Sam prompted.

Bobby shrugged. “We don’t, really. But until they start bein’ more of a problem than your average living citizen, I’m not gonna call ‘em monsters.”

Dean shook his head in disbelief. “I’m with Ellen. What the hell is going on here, Bobby? Do you even know why there are suddenly zombies all over town?”

“No, but…” Bobby let out a sigh. “Come on, I’ll take you back to the house.”

 

Back at the house, Bobby introduced them to his dead wife, Karen. They gathered around the table with apple pie for explanation time. “Five days ago, you had just left for your hunt, my dead wife shows up on my doorstep. I tested her every way I ever learned and a few ways I made up just in case. Memories, personality… that is Karen in there. She ain’t a shifter, revenant, hoodoo zombie, ghost… anything I know of.”

“Where was she buried?” Ellen asked.

“You think Rufus Turner would let me bury my wife?” Bobby asked incredulously. “Salt and burn, the whole nine yards. Buried her ashes in the cemetery.”

“So how is she here?” Dean asked.

Bobby read the relevant passage of Revelation. “Death. The Horseman. He can make the dead rise, and he did it here. Got a list of the risen, and aside from Clay, ain’t been trouble from any of them.”

“Why’d you lie to us?” Ellen asked, pushing away what was left of her pie. “You had to know how stupid that was.”

“Because… El, what was I supposed to tell you?” Bobby asked. “Death brought my wife back from the dead, don’t question it?”

“Just how much do you think I’d be questioning if it were my Bill, or Jo?” Ellen said. “Long as the dead stay quiet law-abiding citizens, they’re no different from any other monster that doesn’t prey on humans. Boys, if it were your daddy… what would you do?”

Sam and Dean looked at each other. “Well, Sam would probably hit him a few times, I’d take a shot or two myself, and then we’d ask Dad what, in his professional hunting opinion, we should do about him,” Dean said, and Sam gave a short laugh.

“Well, in my professional hunting opinion, I say we keep an eye on ‘em, maybe get Cas over here to confirm, but we don’t mess with them until they start messin’ with us,” Ellen said.

“Can’t reach Cas, he said he’d be out of contact for over a week, when we left,” Dean grumbled. “Okay, we’ll play this your way, but the second a zombie puts a toe out of line…”

“Headshots,” Bobby said. “Thanks, guys. El… I’m sorry.”

Ellen laughed. “If it were Bill, I’d be the one ditchin’ your ass. We ain’t these two codependent saps and their angel, I’ll be fine. And no one could’ve predicted this.”

 

Ellen wasn’t exactly comfortable in the house, so she rounded up Sam and went to check out the other zombies in town, leaving Dean to keep an eye on Karen and Bobby. Karen snuck up on Dean in the yard, and tempted him inside with the promise of pie. And there sure was a lot of pie.

“How do you have time to bake all these and still sleep?” Dean asked in awe.

“I don’t. Sleep. Since I got back, I just… I bake. Must be the excitement,” Karen said.

Dean disagreed. “Or the being dead.”

Karen stopped baking to turn to look Dean in the eye. “I know what you are. You and Sam and Ellen, just like I know Bobby’s not the same mild-mannered scrap dealer I married. You hunt things, I’m a thing. I get it. And I know you and your brother see him as family, like a father. But you’re not the only ones looking out for him.” She turned back to her ball of dough. “I remember everything, you know. The possession, Bobby killing me… all of it. And I can see that he never let go of the guilt, that it still weighs him down.”

“So why not tell him you remember?” Dean asked.

Karen set down the ball of dough again. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you’ve never been in love. He’s my husband. My job is to bring him peace, not pain.”

 

Sam checked on Jody Mills first, and found her reading to her little boy. He hoped for her sake and Bobby’s that this would check out, but he couldn’t shake the bad feeling. A couple more stops showed perfectly normal people. Then he went to see Ezra Jones.

At first, she seemed like a perfectly normal sick old lady. When she threw him halfway across the room and jumped on him, he decided she wasn’t. He learned three things about the zombies: one, when they turned, they killed people close to them and ate their innards; two, they had some sort of viscous white fluid dribbling out of their mouths; and three, headshots killed them.

 

Ellen and Dean came with him when he told Bobby about it. “Look, I know you want to believe your wife is gonna be different, but you have to admit that it’s kinda looking bad for her right now.”

“Old Lady Jones was always a little psycho,” Bobby said. “And she and her husband didn’t really get along.”

“Bobby, you gotta admit… you’re not exactly seeing things straight here,” Dean said.

Bobby pulled a gun. “All right. Time to go. If Karen turns, I will handle it. My way. You’re the ones tellin’ me I’m still a hunter, well, let me handle this case. I ain’t gonna ask twice.”

“Think he means it, boys,” Ellen said. “Come on, let’s go see if we can find some people who’ll listen to sense.”

 

Once outside, Dean pulled the car over. “I’m going back in there. I’m not leaving Bobby alone to make pie with a zombie waiting to eat his stomach.”

“Bobby will kill you if he sees you,” Sam protested. “Meanwhile we got seventeen other zombies in town waiting to take out people who aren’t hunters.”

“Have fun with that,” Dean said, getting out of the car and heading in.

Ellen watched Dean go, then turned back to Sam. “The hell was that all about?”

“I don’t know,” Sam said. “Cas and I’ve been worried about him for a while now, ever since… since the Colt didn’t work. Anyway, I say we start with Jody, she at least knows a little about this and she’s someone the other townspeople will respect.”

“She’s also got a little boy who’s a zombie,” Ellen pointed out. “She may be harder to convince than the stubborn fool in there.”

“Or she may be the first one we save,” Sam decided. “At least let’s go try.”

They got to Jody’s place in time to hear a man scream. Sam ran in, and found Jody staring in horror at a little boy eating the intestines of a man who Sam guessed was Jody’s husband. “Sheriff! Come on.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and hauled her outside. “Sheriff.”

“That was not my son,” Jody said.

“No, it wasn’t,” Sam agreed. “Sheriff. We have a town to save and sixteen undead unaccounted for. You need to focus. Can you do that for me? Focus.”

Jody took a few deep, ragged breaths. “How do we… put them down?”

Sam drew his gun. “Headshots. Stay here with Ellen. I’ll be right back.”

“Owen…”

“Is dead,” Sam said firmly. “I’m just going to put him to rest so you can remember the sweet little boy instead of the monster.” He went back inside and took the shot.

 

Dean carefully made his way through the yard, circling the house to look for Karen through a window. He couldn’t find her, which meant he had to break in. That was not gonna be fun. He carefully picked a lock, and as he turned to shut the door, he heard a shot inside the house. “Bobby?” He found Bobby sitting next to the body of his wife, holding her hand and holding back tears.

“I’m sorry, Bobby,” Dean said. “I got a town to save, I’m gonna go. Mind if I borrow a car?”

“Only if you don’t take me with you,” Bobby said, wheeling his way to the front door. Dean stopped to grab some guns and found Bobby out by a van. As he was closing it up, there was a crash from the yard, and Dean grabbed a gun and went to investigate.

Clay found him, tackled him to the ground. After a struggle, Dean managed to retrieve his shotgun and blast him through the head. He got back to Bobby to find a few more zombie corpses, and they started going first-person shooter through the salvage yard. Dean took Bobby’s chair and the two of them fell back toward the house.

The zombies busted in through whatever windows they could find, and Dean and Bobby ran out of ammo. They retreated to a closet and locked themselves in. Just as Dean finished saying they couldn’t pick a lock, they saw that one of the zombies was, in fact, picking the lock. “Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong?” Bobby asked.

 

Jody took them to the station, gathering as many people as they could along the way. Sam passed out guns. “If you see a dead person, I don’t care who they were before, they are now the person who is trying to eat you. Aim for the head if you want to live.”

“And we’re taking advice from one of Crazy Singer’s crazy friends because…” one of the townsfolk said.

“Because we want to live,” Jody said. “Any more stupid questions, or are you gonna go cover your doors?”

They split up, heading for the doors, and waited. After a while, Jody found Sam. “Seems like they’re taking an awful long time, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah… I was just starting to think they may have gone out to Bobby’s,” Sam said. “Trust me on this: this was aimed at either him or us.”

“Let’s go,” Jody said. “I’ll get Ellen and meet you outside.”

Sam drove like Dean to get out to the salvage yard. Sure enough, as soon as they got inside they saw the zombie horde. “Get down!” Sam yelled, and he and the two women started picking off zombies. Once the last zombie dropped, Dean and Bobby peeked out. “You okay?” Sam asked, and they both nodded. “Good. Let’s get these bodies off Bobby’s floor.”

They got the bodies out to the cemetery, except for Karen. Jody said the townspeople were traumatized and couldn’t get papers to believe them.

“How’re you?” Ellen asked. “It ain’t easy, hearing your kid die.” Jody blinked back tears and didn’t answer, which seemed like a good enough answer for Ellen. “Come on, Bobby shouldn’t be alone watchin’ his wife burn.”

They got back to Bobby’s, where he’d already lit the pyre and sat watching it burn. “I guess I ought to apologize to you all, you tried to tell me and I wouldn’t listen,” he said.

Ellen shook her head. “You don’t owe us anything, Bobby, ain’t one of us here hasn’t lost the love of their life at least once. The boys seem to get theirs back pretty quick, but we get it.”

“How many times do I gotta kill her?” Bobby asked. “And she had a message. This whole thing, the dead being back and turning… it was to punish me. For helping the Winchesters. For Sam still sayin’ no to Lucifer. Not sure whether Death and his boss wanted me dead or broken, but here we are.”

“You gonna be okay, Bobby?” Sam asked.

“Hell no. I’m gonna be pissed,” Bobby said. “Just need some time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh. I wish I had some clever excuse for being late like computer problems or getting ready to graduate or something, but no, it's just my head having a flareup of stupid. Sorry about that!


	16. Holy Crap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam get shot. Cas goes a little nuts. Heaven sucks.

Ellen chose to stay with Bobby and Jody to help with the grief, so Sam and Dean went out to deal with the vampire nest alone. Cas dropped by to check in and stayed to help with the actual fight. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Cas, but I’m very glad to have less in common with those guys now,” Sam joked as they torched the corpses.

Cas smiled. “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about getting stuck somewhere and missing feeding time. It was bad enough the one time.”

Dean pretended to throw up. “I hate you both right now.”

“You do not.” Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. “You love us. Come on, Sam, let’s get out of here.” Sam came over and slung one arm around each of them so Cas could fly them back to the motel.

Cas left early the next morning, before Dean had awakened. Sam was up, though, after a Lucifer nightmare, and he went with Cas out to the parking lot when Cas had to leave. Just after Cas left, he felt someone grab him, and saw another man in a mask pointing a gun at his face. The one who’d grabbed him fished the key out of his pocket, and they marched him inside.

 

When Dean woke up, he could feel something was terribly wrong. He reached for the gun under his pillow, but it wasn’t there. That was bad. Worse was that when he picked his head up to look around, there were two assholes. One with a gun on Sammy and the other holding the gun that he’d been looking for. “Wait… is that you, Roy? Which would make you Walt.” Dean couldn’t believe it. He’d hunted with these two several times when Sam was at college.

They pulled off the masks. Dean had already recognized them, no point hiding now. Walt, the one holding the gun on Sam, explained why they were here. “Sam, you think you can start the damn Apocalypse, and just walk away? We ain’t the only hunters after you.”

“It’s not what you think,” Sam said, holding his hands up. “Please, just let us explain.”

Walt didn’t, shooting Sam twice through the chest. Dean instinctively jumped to go to him, but Roy blocked his way with the barrel of his gun. “Stay down. We don’t want…”

“Roy.” Walt gave him the older brother look of are-you-stupid-or-just-pretending-to-be. “We just shot Dean’s brother. Depending on if you believe the gossip, maybe more. We can’t leave him alive.”

“But Dean didn’t have anything to do with this. Shooting Sam, we had to do. But Dean… it’s not right,” Roy protested.

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Dean Winchester hunting your ass?” Walt asked.

Dean looked between them. “Boy do you two have really bad information. This Apocalypse is as much my fault as Sam’s. So go ahead, shoot me. I ain’t gonna stay dead. And when I get back… I’m gon’ be pissed.”

 

From a thousand miles away, Castiel could feel it. As soon as he could force his brain to work again, he flew back to the room he’d left the Winchesters in. The two living men jumped when Castiel arrived, scared by the noise of his wings. “What did you do?” he growled, slamming them both against the wall.

“Who the hell…”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m the one holding you against the wall by the throats, which I could crush with barely a thought,” Castiel said. “That means that I am the one asking the questions here. Why did you kill them?”

“Sam started the Apocalypse. I’m sorry if he was your friend, but you do that, you’re a monster,” Walt said.

“Sam is not my friend. Sam is my partner, in every imaginable sense of the word.” Walt went a little pale, and Roy was visibly terrified. “Including the sense where he, Dean, and I went together to prevent the Apocalypse but ended up starting it instead due to lies we had been manipulated to believe. It was a mistake, and the three of us are the only chance the world has of having that mistake fixed.” He squeezed, though not hard enough to completely restrict airflow. “I am letting you live for three reasons. You’ve given us an opportunity I never expected to have. You’re going to spread the word that Sam is no more responsible for this than Dean and an angel of the Lord, and if you hunt one, you have to hunt all three. And Sam and Dean will come back to me. Now get out.” He zapped them out to the parking lot and sealed the door.

Forcing himself to calm down, he carefully moved Sam’s corpse over so there was enough room for him to lay Dean’s beside it. He awkwardly squished himself between them, using the connection between body and soul to open a channel to Heaven.

 

Dean woke up to find himself in the Impala, radio playing Bob Dylan. Little weird, but Sam actually liked Dylan, so the only weird part about it was that Sam was nowhere in sight. Of course, that got blown to hell when he heard the trunk slam, and yeah, that was Sammy… but Sammy was thirteen. And they were setting off fireworks for the Fourth of July, because Dad had abandoned them for a hunt and couldn’t tell them no.

The noise of the fireworks set off the memories of him and Sam being shot, and suddenly the lights were gone. And Sammy, too. Dean found his way back to the Impala, where Castiel was talking to him through the radio. “I’m dead.”

“Condolences,” Castiel said. Dean wondered if sarcasm was a skill that came naturally to angels or if Cas had picked that up from him and Sam. “This connection is difficult to maintain, so listen closely. You’re in Heaven.”

“How’d I get to Heaven?” Dean asked. “And if this is Heaven, where’s Sam?”

“He’s not with you?” Cas sounded very surprised by that. “What do you see?”

“I’m in the Impala. There’s a road, and some trees…”

“Okay. Good. Follow the road. Concentrate on Sam, and the road will take you to him,” Castiel said. It sounded like there was more, but the radio flickered into static and eventually died.

Dean did as instructed, pulling up in front of an incredibly generic-looking suburban house. Generic except for the fact that it was the only one around. Whatever he was expecting to find, it was not Sam sitting at a table with some random-ass family eating dinner.

“Heaven,” Sam said incredulously once Dean had gotten his attention and explained what was happening. “Okay, how are we in Heaven? Well, you… that makes sense, you were Heaven’s puppet last year so you get a free pass. But me?”

“You know Cas would be kicking your ass right now,” Dean said. “Have to say… Heaven kinda sucks.”

“I don’t know.” Sam looked over his shoulder at the family eating and still talking like Sam was there holding up his part of the conversation. “This… this is one of my memories.”

“I woke up in one of my memories,” Dean said. “That 4th of July we burned down that field.”

“Good times,” Sam said with a smile. “Anyway, what if that’s what Heaven is? Eternal replays of your… your greatest hits?”

Dean looked over Sam’s shoulder. “This is a trophy moment for you?”

“Dean, I was eleven, just starting to get that itch to be normal,” Sam said. “My first Thanksgiving that wasn’t a bucket of KFC and Dad passed out on the couch or you having to figure something out because Dad couldn’t be bothered to be with us for it, it meant a lot to me.”

Dean tried to figure out what the hell to say to that, because he’d always prided himself on the fact that Sam had never missed a major holiday. Okay, so it wasn’t like everyone else’s. So what? The introspection and hurt feelings stopped short when a spotlight appeared and the house started to rumble. “Get down,” he hissed at Sam.

Once the spotlight passed, Dean went to the radio and started fiddling with the dials. Sam questioned his sanity until Cas appeared on the TV behind them. “Don’t go into the light.”

“Okay, thanks, Carol Anne,” Dean said. “What was it?”

“Zachariah. He’s trying to find you to return you to your bodies, but you’re both in Heaven right now. This is an opportunity. You need to find an angel. Joshua. He talks to God.”

Dean looked skeptical. “So? We’re kind of ass-full of angels right now.”

“Dean. He talks to God. Don’t you think, just maybe, it would be a good idea to find out what the hell God has been saying?” Cas snapped.

“Okay, Cas, we got it,” Sam said, stepping in as peacemaker. “How do we find him?”

“Follow the road. Or river. Or tunnel. It might appear differently depending on what memories you end up in, but for you two, probably road. It’s called the Axis Mundi. All roads lead to the center eventually, the Garden. Joshua tends the Garden. He’ll be there.”

Cas fritzed out then, and Sam sighed. “What do you think?”

“I think we hit the yellow bricks, find this Joshua cat.” At Sam’s surprised reaction, he added, “What, you disagree?”

“No, I’m just surprised you’re good with this. For a while now, you’ve been wanting to punch God in the nose. Now you think he’ll help us?”

Dean sighed. “He’s the only one who can. We are royally boned, Sam. Prayer… last hope of a desperate man.” He stomped off to the front door, which he opened to find the road had gone missing. So Dean searched the house, once again to Sam’s chorus of you’ve lost your mind, until he found the road in a closet under the stairs.

 

“Kinda trippy, right?” Dean said as they appeared in his bedroom in their house in Lawrence.

“Yeah.” Sam looked around. “More trippy…” he pointed at Dean’s shirt, “apparently you ‘wuv hugs.’”

“Shut up,” Dean said.

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean. “Make me.”

Dean gave Sam a quick kiss and then shoved him off. “Any minute now Mom’s gonna show up, I bet. Not sure what memory this is, but it’s Mom.” Sure enough, Mary Winchester came in to get Dean for lunch – a sandwich with the crusts cut off and a big glass of milk. Dean fought to stay in the memory, until the phone call came in. When he was four, he hadn’t understood why Daddy was gone and needed time to think. Now… even when the angels very carefully arranged perfect couples, apparently they had serious enough problems that his parents had very nearly divorced the summer after Sammy was born. Dean went to his mother and hugged her, just as he had at four.

“I never realized just how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes,” Sam said when Dean finally pulled himself out of the memory.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “Come on, I remember this, baby you should be around here somewhere. We can look for the road while we look for you,” he said at Sam’s exasperated expression. They found Baby Sammy first. “Look at you, two months old and already had the stupid long hair,” Dean teased.

Sam was the one to find the road, on a postcard of all things. Dean looked around. He wasn’t sure he’d seen this place before, but there were thousands of places like this in their past. Sam seemed to recognize it, and then a dog came in that Sam recognized and called Bones.

“Is this Flagstaff?” Dean suddenly realized. It was the only time Sam could ever have had a dog. “This is a good memory for you?”

“Yeah, I was sixteen and had two weeks of independence and relative normality, living off pizza, funyuns, and Mr. Pibb,” Sam said. “Look, Dean, I know it sucked for you, I saw the bruises when you showed up and I know what I put you through. But I was sixteen. Who isn’t a selfish dick when they’re sixteen?”

“Whatever,” Dean said, slamming the door open. “Let’s just go.”

Despite the sunshine that had been streaming through the windows, they were dumped off on a dark, rainy street. At least finding the road should be easy.

“Shit,” Sam said. “Dean, you’re going to hate me.”

“Why?” Dean said, whirling around. “What memory is this?” Sam didn’t answer, wouldn’t even meet his eyes. “Wait a minute.” The memory was coming back now. “This?” It was the guiltiest look Dean had ever seen on Sam, including the day he confessed to the demon blood. “Ditching us… ditching me… for Stanford? This was the second-worst night of my life.”

“What was the worst?”

“So help me if the road takes us to the night Jake Tally killed you, the second we get back to Earth I’m killing you again.” Dean looked around in disbelief. “Seriously, this was a happy memory for you?”

“Dean, from the time you brought me home from Flagstaff, one of the main goals of my life was to get the hell away from Dad,” Sam said. “You know that.”

“Yeah, he wasn’t the only one you got the hell away from.”

“That’s not fair, Dean. If I’d thought there was a chance in hell you’d do it I’d have asked you to come with me. When you came after me, tried to get me to come back, I did beg you to at least call and come visit when you could. If the road takes us to that night in Modesto… then you’d have a point. But this? Remembering this night? That is all about being on my own, away from Dad.”

“Funny how all your memories are about being on your own, away from family,” Dean said.

“I guess I don’t think about family quite the same way you do,” Sam said. “I don’t remember having a mom! I never got the crusts cut off my sandwiches. I never really had a dad, either, I had a drill sergeant.”

“You had me,” Dean said, fighting back the tears. “It’s supposed to be you and me against the world. Always has been supposed to be that way.”

“And it is, well, now it’s you, me, and Cas,” Sam said.

Dean looked around pointedly. “Is it?” Sam didn’t get a chance to even try to explain how Dean not being good enough, and then bailing on Dean twice, was supposed to be the two of them against the world. The spotlight was back, and they had to run.

Then their favorite angel ever showed up. “Wow. Running from angels, on foot, in Heaven. With out of the box thinking like that, it’s a wonder you boys haven’t stopped the Apocalypse yet,” Zachariah taunted. Dean stopped listening, instead waiting for the moment to run. When it came, they ran, and they kept running until they spotted a weirdo in a luchador costume beckoning them. Well, it couldn’t be weirder than the rest of Heaven, and it would get them away from Zachariah.

 

And then the luchador turned out to be Ash, who took them to a memory of Harvelle’s Roadhouse. Ash explained to them how Heaven worked – everyone got their own, except for special cases, and normally couldn’t travel outside of them.

“Special cases?” Sam asked. He and Dean hadn’t needed any kind of spell to jump back and forth between their Heavens.

Ash shrugged. “You know, like soulmates.” There was an awkward silence before Ash explained how he’d learned to Heaven-hop, listen in on Angel Radio, and generally break how Heaven is supposed to work. “Heard you two were up, had to come find you. Again. You two die more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Uh… what?” Dean asked.

“Oh, right, angels must’ve Windexed your brains,” Ash said.

“Found anyone else? Jo?” Sam asked.

Ash looked startled. “Jo’s dead? What about Ellen?” 

Whoops. Well, now that he knew, he could start looking, Sam figured. “Uh, yeah, a few months back. Jo got taken out by a pack of Hellhounds, but she took the pack with her.”

“For all the good it did,” Dean muttered, and Sam gave him a weird look.

“I’ll have to watch for her. I’ve been lookin’ all over for your daddy, but no sign of him anywhere. Your mother, either. But I did find someone who wants a word with you!” Ash took off, returning quickly with Pamela Barnes. Sam stayed with Ash, who explained how his “police scanner” worked, while Dean and Pamela tuned out for a beer.

Pamela was loving Heaven, and tried to convince Dean that Heaven was awesome. And, at the very least… “The attic’s better than the basement. Look, I know Michael wants to take you out for a test drive. What happens if you go along with it?”

“A lot of people die,” Dean said.

Pamela grinned. “And then they come here! They’ll be happy. They’ll be at peace. That really so bad?”

Dean was busy trying to find a response to that when Ash called out that he’d found a shortcut to the Garden, but that they’d have to be quick and careful to avoid Zachariah. They said their goodbyes, Sam turning away and biting his tongue when Pamela kissed Dean. They stepped through Ash’s door back into their old home.

Mary showed up, asking if Dean had a nightmare. Dean tried to blow her off. “Then how about I tell you my nightmare, Dean? The night I burned.” Blood spread across her nightgown. “I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you.” Mary described what she went through that night – the pain, the smell, the death. “But at least I was away from you. Everybody leaves you, Dean. Have you noticed? Mommy… Daddy… even Sam. Repeatedly.”

Of course Dean had thought about that. He’d been reminded just how often Sam left him on this little trip through the Matrix. Still, he nearly threw up when Zachariah showed up and kissed Mary’s neck. “I’ve become quite fond of your mother, or at least, the blessed memory of her. Anyway.” Zachariah took a swing at Dean, who doubled over in pain. He explained to them exactly why he was going to take great pleasure in making their lives miserable until they were begging to say yes.

 

He didn’t get the chance, because Joshua interrupted. After some threats back and forth, Joshua won and made Zachariah take off. The house disappeared, replaced by… “Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a school trip, I believe.” Joshua explained how he talked to God – or, more accurately, how God talked to him. He didn’t know why, but he thought it might be because they were both gardeners. “Anyway, God has a message for you. Back off. He knows what you want to tell him. He knows about the Apocalypse and what the angels are doing. He just doesn’t think it’s his problem.”

“What… not his problem?” Dean asked.

“He’s intervened for you already,” Joshua explained. “He saved you by putting you on that plane. He has guaranteed you both salvation in Heaven, despite everything you’ve done. He brought back Castiel. He’s given you a chance. But you have to be the ones to take it.”

“So he’s just gonna sit back and watch the world burn,” Dean said.

Joshua nodded. “I’m sorry, Dean. I know how important this was to you, and I wish I could give you something different.”

“Forget it,” Dean said. “Just another deadbeat dad with a bunch of excuses. I’m used to it. I’ll muddle through, just like I always have.”

“But this time… you don’t know if you can,” Joshua said. “Nothing’s working, people are dying, and you’re losing faith in yourself, your family, your brother, and now you’ve lost what little faith you had in God. I’m sorry. I’m rooting for you boys. I like the Earth the way it is. I wish I could do more to help you than just send you back. But this time won’t be like the others. This time, God wants you to remember.” Everything went white around them.

 

When they awoke, Castiel hurriedly scrambled out from between them to give them space to breathe. “Welcome back.”

“Yeah.” Dean made a face. “Heaven is awesome. Really great. Cas…”

Sam reached out and wrapped an arm around Castiel. “Joshua was… not helpful. God won’t intervene on this. He feels like he’s done what he can reasonably be asked to do already.”

Castiel pulled away, walking over to the wall. “You son of a bitch.” Sam looked at Dean, who had an identical what-did-we-do look on his face, but Castiel wasn’t talking to them. “I believed in you.” He turned back to the Winchesters. “What do we do now?”

“I guess head back to Bobby’s, keep looking for other leads,” Sam said. “Joshua said God gave us a chance. We just have to figure out what we need to do with it.”

“Yeah. And how many people die while we chase our tails?” Dean asked. He started throwing stuff into his bag. “Let’s get out of here. Been here too long already.”

 

Back at Bobby’s, Castiel found Sam. “Here. I don’t need this anymore, but…” He held out the amulet to Sam. “I’m still very worried about Dean.”

“Me too. Thanks, I’ll make sure this gets back to him… eventually.” Sam looked at the amulet. “I’m sorry it didn’t work.”

“As am I.” Castiel took off in a flurry of wind, and Sam flinched. If Cas wasn’t looking for God anymore… why wouldn’t he stay at Bobby’s with them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't think we've heard of Walt and Roy before or after this episode, so I don't feel too bad about making up stuff about them. (Seriously, what the hell, Demon Dean or Mark Dean should've gone after them. Even if he didn't care about Sam anymore, he owed these two a world of pain and hasn't delivered.)
> 
> Given what we learned in season 10 about how Heaven works, why aren't the angels going after Ash? They too busy with the Apocalypse to bother?
> 
> Once again, apologies for how long this took to get up; school's over at the end of the week so I should be able to get back to a normal posting schedule soon.


	17. Fractures

Days passed with no word from Castiel. Both Winchesters called him repeatedly, but he never answered or returned the calls. They needed a distraction. Bobby found them one – a town erupting in demonic omens so strong that either Lucifer himself was there or a whole horde of demons was. Ellen went to scout it, and reported the second option was the correct one.

“Cas, dammit, we _need_ you with us on this one,” Dean spat into the phone when he heard the voicemail message. “Whole mess of demons, in Minnesota, near Blue Earth. Not that you care about Blue Earth, but it’s a pretty special place to me and Sammy. We gotta stop them.” He hung up the phone and would have thrown it if he weren’t driving. “Your turn.”

Sam dialed, and let out a huff of frustration when the voicemail message started. “Cas, please, pick up. Or call us back. Or meet us in Blue Earth. We need you, and not just because of the demons. Me and Dean… we can’t do this without you. Not anymore.”

Thankfully, the demons weren’t in Blue Earth. Not yet, anyway. Ellen met them on the edge of town. “You did tell Cas metric buttload of demons, didn’t you?”

Sam shrugged, and Dean growled. “Repeatedly. Either he’s in serious trouble and we can’t help him because we don’t know where to even begin to look, or he’s shutting us out. If he ain’t gonna show up when we need him to possibly save our lives… he better be in serious trouble.”

The fight against the demons went… poorly. And when Sam got shot, Dean called a tactical retreat. The three loaded into the Impala and hauled ass, only to find a fiery roadblock. And then to get saved by a bunch of guys with a firehose of holy water and an exorcism through a megaphone.

“Who are you guys?” Dean asked after making sure everyone was all right.

“Sacrament Lutheran Militia.” The leader looked at the bodies on the ground. “I hate to break it to you, but those were demons, and this is the Apocalypse.”

“Yeah, we noticed,” Ellen said. “Wait a… Sacrament Lutheran? Out of Blue Earth?”

“Pastor Jim’s church,” Sam said. “Small world. Jim Murphy, used to be the pastor there until he died about four years ago?”

The guys looked at each other, a little hostility bleeding out of them. “Who are you guys?”

“I’m Ellen Harvelle. You guys hunters, or new to this to fight the Apocalypse?”

“We’re fighting the Apocalypse, but Pastor Murphy would sometimes talk about his good friend Ellen in his sermons. Follow us.” They eased out of their guns and headed for the truck.

They pulled up to the church, where there was some sort of service about to begin. “I’ve heard of shotgun weddings, but…” Dean whispered, nodding to the guns that lined the aisles. Sam glared, and one of the locals explained that there had been a lot of weddings recently.

After the wedding, the pastor met them. “Did you know Jim Murphy?” Dean had to ask when he saw the pistol strapped to the preacher’s thigh.

“Not personally, no. I found his journal, though, and a good thing, too. When the demons showed up, I was able to form this militia.” The preacher led them to a back room, where it seemed like half the town was prepping for a war against demons. Even the children. “Everybody pitches in,” the pastor explained.

They may have gotten some information from Pastor Jim’s journal, but they soon met the real source of the town’s information. “Dad, it’s okay, it’s safe,” Leah said as the preacher tried to send her away. “It’s Sam and Dean Winchester. The angels have told me all about them.”

“The angels.” Dean tensed up, ready to run.

Leah just smiled. “Don’t worry, they won’t know you’re here. The sigils, right? On your ribs? The angels show me what we need to know. They warn us when demons are coming, where they’ll be, how to fight back. They guided me to your friend’s journal. They gave us the Enochian exorcism.”

“Another prophet,” Dean said. “Great. At least this one’s cute.” Ellen smacked him upside the head. “What? You’ve never met Chuck, he’s a pain in the ass!”

“Is Castiel not with you?” Leah asked. “He wasn’t…”

“No, he’s been out of contact for a few days,” Sam said, not quite concealing the frustration and fear. “He wasn’t with us when we went after those demons.”

Leah nodded. “Well, let’s get that bullet wound looked at, Sam.”

 

Later that evening, Sam once again tried to call Cas. And once again got voicemail. The confused message where Cas didn’t understand cell phones had been cute, at first, but by now it just pissed Sam off more. “Cas, if you don’t get your feathery ass here, soon, I will find a way to hunt you down to kick it. Blue Earth, Minnesota, we are _way_ out of our depth here.” He hung up, took a deep breath to fight the realization that he’d just sounded way too much like Dean, and picked up the round of beers.

Dean was not doing well. He didn’t even care that angels were using humans to do their dirty work, because “We’re all gonna die” was a good enough reason to go ahead and get it over with now. It wasn’t an entirely new attitude for Dean, but it was scary.

“Gotta say, this is the only place I have ever seen an entire town come together and organize the chaos like this,” Ellen said. “Not sure it’s a bad thing, even if it is angels doing it.”

“Still, who says they’re all gonna die? What happened to us saving them?” Dean didn’t answer right away, and Sam didn’t have the chance to push before the bells started ringing. Paul, the helpful local from earlier, explained that Leah had another vision and the town was being called together to hear it.

There were demons gathered in a house out in the country, and all three hunters volunteered for the mission. The preacher looked at Sam as they armed up. “That knife all you’re taking?”

“Yeah, it’s… it kills demons, and it never runs out of ammo. Don’t worry about me, make sure your people are armed up.” Sam forced a grin.

As they headed in, the preacher took the lead, signaling people to cover each entrance. The fight itself was quick, efficient, and when it was over, there had been much saving of lives between the entire group. “Feels weird, having this much team together,” Sam said. “Think the biggest group of hunters I’ve ever worked with was six, and we’re family.”

“Biggest I’ve ever heard of was ten,” Ellen said. “Your daddy, Bobby, Rufus, Bill, Jim, Caleb, some others who I doubt you knew. Because that mission went so far south from infighting that John swore he’d never deal with those four again. Hunters are a cantankerous bunch.”

One of the boys from town came over. “Hey, uh, is it okay if I get a ride back with you guys?” Dylan asked, and Dean shrugged.

“You mind detourin’?” Ellen asked. “Drop me off at my truck?”

“No problem,” Dean said. He handed out a round of beer, including one for Dylan. “Don’t tell your mom.”

“No way,” Dylan promised. The next thing they knew, Dylan had been pulled under the Impala. Sam reached down and pulled the demon out, but Dylan’s throat had already been cut. The funeral was awkward, with Dylan’s parents blaming the Winchesters and Ellen. During the funeral, Leah had a vision. Apparently the angels had chosen the people of this town for… something. But there were a lot of new rules they had to follow to be worthy.

“Dean, does this sound like the angels we know?” Sam asked as they headed out of the church.

Dean shrugged. “Kinda, yeah. Massive douchebags, pointless rules... only checking in when there’s something _they_ need…”

“Cas’ll come when he’s ready,” Ellen said. “Speakin’ of…”

Dean tossed the keys to Sam. “You take her, I’ll catch up with you at the motel.”

 

Dean went to see Leah. She was all right, nursing a headache but willing to talk. She explained what the angels said would happen. “After we win… and we will… the chosen will take over the Earth. Things will be peaceful. No war, no disease, no death. Paradise.” Only for the chosen, but… “It must be hard, being the vessel of Heaven and having no hope.”

He went back to the motel, where Sam finally showed up at curfew. “They shut down the cell towers. They’re turning this place into some kind of fundamentalist compound, shut off from the ‘corruption’ of the outside world.”

Dean shrugged. “So?”

“So? At what point does this become too far for you? Stonings? Poisoned Kool-aid?”

Another shrug. “Angel world, angel rules.”

“And since when is that okay with you? You don’t even take orders from Cas anymore, you’re just going to let the dicks run an entire town?”

“They got the only lifeboats on the Titanic, man,” Dean said. “Who’s going to save them? It was supposed to be us, but… we can’t.”

“No. Don’t you say that. You can’t do this.” Dean just shrugged. “You can’t do this to me. Right now, I got two things keeping me going. One’s in the wind somewhere, so right now, I _need_ you with me. I can’t do this alone. I need you fighting with me on this.”

That was the problem, though. Everyone depended on Dean, and Dean didn’t have the fight left in him. He heard Sam saying something as he grabbed his coat and left, but it barely even registered that he was speaking. The words were lost as he headed out into the night.

 

“I got your message. –es.” Sam jumped. He hadn’t heard the wings when Cas came in. “There were a lot of them. And I find the sound of your voice grating.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. Cas was hunched over, leaning on the refrigerator like it was the only thing keeping him off the floor. “What’s wrong with you?” Cas tried to stand up. It took him a couple tries, and it suddenly hit Sam where he’d seen that kind of behavior before. “Are you drunk?”

“No!” Cas took a couple unsteady steps and leaned on the metalwork that kind of separated the living area from the beds. “Yes.”

“What the hell happened to you?” Sam asked, trying and failing to make any kind of sense of this. He’d seen Cas throw down alcohol like water.

“I found a liquor store.” Sam waited. “And I drank it.” Okay, well, that was… somewhat impressive. “What’s going on that you needed me here so badly?”

“Well, aside from the usual, fighting the Apocalypse, being worried about you being on your own after…” Cas took another couple steps forward, and Sam reached out to steady him. “Are you okay?”

Cas leaned forward, motioning for Sam to bend down. “Don’t ask stupid questions.” Sam straightened up, unamused. “Tell me what you need.”

“Well, for starters, you. But we can have the fight later, when you’re not drunk or hung over and when Dean’s here.” Cas glared at him, but didn’t say anything. So Sam moved on to the more immediate problem. “There’ve been these demon attacks, lots of them. All around the area.”

“Any sign of angels?”

“Not as such,” Sam said. “But they’ve been talking to this prophet.”

“Chuck’s here?”

That threw Sam for a second. “No. No, not Chuck. The pastor’s daughter, Leah Gideon.”

“She’s not a prophet.”

“She’s had visions, just like Chuck. We’ve seen them, and followed her visions to a nest of demons. She’s the real deal.”

“Not possible,” Cas said. “For one thing, the names of every prophet or potential prophet are seared in the brain of every angel, and Leah Gideon is not on the list. For another, there’s only ever one prophet alive at any given time, and I’d know if Chuck were dead.”

“Then… what is she?” 

“One of Lucifer’s weapons.” Cas shrugged and took off, returning quickly with some books from Bobby’s. He handed a Bible to Sam, open to the relevant part of Revelations.

They were up all night, only breaking from research when Sam looked at the clock and realized it was 2 am and Dean hadn’t made it back. He went looking, but an hour of searching turn up no sign of Dean. It was full daylight by the time Dean made it back in, hands covered in blood, explaining how Dylan’s mother had shot Paul the Not-Fundamentalist Local because he wasn’t bowing down to the angels’ commands.

“It’s starting,” Cas said, startling both Winchesters. It was the first thing Cas had said for hours.

Dean was just startled to see Cas. “What’s start… where the hell have _you_ been anyway?”

“On a bender,” Cas snarled, voice raised. Sam tried to remember Cas ever using that tone of voice with Dean, and couldn’t. Sam quickly caught Dean up on Cas’s drunken state. Cas waved a hand. “It is not of import. We need to talk about what’s happening here.”

“Leah’s not a real prophet,” Sam explained.

Dean went to make some coffee while he listened. “Then what is she? Because…”

“The Whore.” Even though he’d had hours to get used to them, the words still sounded wrong coming out of Cas’s mouth.

Dean hadn’t had any time. “Wow, Cas. Tell us how you really feel.”

“The Whore of Babylon,” Cas said, managing an impressive eyeroll for someone who was most likely still seriously drunk. “She rises when Lucifer walks the Earth. She can take human form, spreads false prophecy. The demons around here are under her control.”

Dean sat down and turned the book so he could read it. “What about the Enochian exorcism?”

“Fake. It actually means something more like… ‘You breed with the mouth of a goat.’” He grinned and waited. “It’s funnier in Enochian.” The goal was to get blood spilled in God’s name, using the promise of paradise to manipulate the townspeople into doing Lucifer’s work.

Cas disappeared again, returning hours later, this time with a stake. “She can be killed with that. It’s made from a cypress tree from Babylon. But it has to be wielded by a true servant of Heaven.”

“What’s _that_ mean?” Dean asked.

“Not you. Or me.” Cas poured himself a glass of water. “Sam of course is an abomination. We’ll have to find someone else.”

Sam threw the stake down on the book, trying to remind himself that Cas was either still drunk or hung over and probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded, the way he hadn’t with Jesse Turner. But still, it hurt like hell. “What about Pastor Gideon? I hate to ask it of him, Leah was his daughter, but I’m pretty sure he’s a true believer.”

“How do we convince him to trust us over Leah?” Dean asked.

“Well, pretty sure an angel who’s actually here trumps angel voices in someone’s head,” Sam pointed out. “We just happen to have one.”

Cas disappeared yet again, this time, returning with Pastor Gideon. “What…” It was the normal reaction to experiencing angel flight for the first time, Sam figured.

“He wasn’t kidding about the angel thing, Padre. We need to talk,” Dean said. They explained the situation to the preacher, making sure to stress that the thing giving the commands to kill sinners was not his daughter. It was already too much to ask, but if they didn’t make sure he knew that, there was no chance at all.

“Why does it have to be me?”

“Because. You’re a servant of Heaven,” Castiel said.

The preacher turned around. “And you’re an angel.”

“Poor example of one.” Normally, Sam would argue, but the last thing they needed was for the pastor to misunderstand Cas’s rebellion. It could wait till later.

 

Dean followed Cas outside, tossing him a bottle of painkillers. The hangover was starting to make itself obvious. “You should probably just down the whole bottle. Look, Cas… Sam and me, we get it. Big experts on deadbeat dads.”

“How do you manage it?” Cas asked.

Dean leaned against the Impala. “Well, on a good day… you get to kill one of Satan’s minions. Save a townful of people.” It wasn’t much of an answer. There used to be a better answer to that question, but now, Dean didn’t really have one.

 

The fight was bad. Leah took Cas out with an Enochian spell that left him twitching on the ground, and ran into the room full of civilians. Pastor Gideon was taken out of the fight, and Sam was too busy to come to Dean’s rescue when Leah got hold of him, trying to stop the civilians from lighting kerosene. He wasn’t sure how many people would burn to death, but even one was too many.

Dean managed to get the stake. And, somehow, it worked for him. The entire room watched as Leah twitched, lost control of her shape, and finally, the stake in her chest went up in flames, leaving a dead body with a charred hole in the middle. Sam’s heart sank. There was only one way he could think of that this could have happened, and it wasn’t good.

Dean went to get Cas while Sam helped the pastor to his feet and out of the building. Dean wouldn’t give any kind of answer besides “It just worked, okay?” Which only left Sam feeling worse, because this wasn’t like Dean. Once the two wounded were in the car, Sam caught Dean’s eyes. “Are you gonna do something stupid?”

“Like what?”

“Like, _Michael_ stupid.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but wouldn’t meet Sam’s as he protested, “Give me a break. Come on, Sam.”

Once back at the motel, they got Cas onto a bed. Without knowing what Leah had done to him, there wasn’t just a whole lot Sam could think of to help fix it. So he focused on the preacher. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m seeing double, but… that could be the painkillers,” he said as he held an icepack to his head.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Dean said.

Pastor Gideon shook his head slightly. “No.”

Dean gave a tight nod and headed for the door. _Shit._ “Dean, where are you going?”

“Relax, I’m just getting some bandages and stuff from the trunk,” Dean said, disappearing. Sam didn’t trust it, and when he heard the Impala’s engine start, he knew exactly where Dean was going. Farewell tour, then to find someone who could get him to Michael. Sam’s first instinct was to hotwire a car and go after him, but… he had Cas and Pastor Gideon to worry about, too. He went back inside and finished getting the preacher fixed up.

“Pastor Gideon, I can’t imagine what this is like for you,” Sam began. “But you can’t blame yourself for this. Blame me and Dean and Cas if you want, it’s kind of our fault anyway. The Whore of Babylon… I don’t know if she was possessed or replaced, but she had all of Leah’s memories, her personality. And until we came to town, she was helping, or at least pretending to. I don’t know what it’s like to lose a child, but I do know what it’s like to lose your faith. It would be easier if I could lie to you, protect you from the truth, but I don’t think I could convincingly.”

“So how do you deal with it? With realizing that everything you believed, everything you’ve dedicated your life to, it’s a lie?”

Sam sighed. “I found something else to fight for. I know for a fact that God is real, Heaven is real, angels are real. Kinda hard to deny when…” he jerked his head toward Cas. “Now, I’m fighting for humanity against both angels and demons. But more importantly to me, I’m fighting for my family. Dean, Cas, Ellen, Bobby. You… this town’s going to need someone to help them figure out where to go from here. They’ve been looking to you for guidance for years. Fight for your town. Heaven may not be what we thought it was, but it’s still better than the alternative.”

Gideon nodded. “I don’t know if I can, if I have it in me, but I’ll try. Thank you.”

With the pastor gone, Sam could turn his attention to Cas. “Hey. Cas. Cas, please, be awake enough to tell me how to help you. I can’t… Dean’s gone, and…”

Cas forced himself up. “You can’t. I’ll just have to be strong enough to do this. We can’t let Dean…”

“We’ve got a little time, Dean’s gonna take a farewell tour. Say goodbye to people. His last stop will be Ben Braeden, in Cicero. Then he’ll get a room and pack up whatever stuff he intends to leave behind for us with a letter that’s supposed to make us feel better about him giving up. We’ve got at least a day, and I’ll know where he’ll be once we get to town and I have a chance to check some things out. I need sleep, and you… time will help you, won’t it?”

“Yes. You’re certain we have it?”

“I’m certain,” Sam said, going to lay on one of the beds. “Don’t let me sleep past sunrise, though. I’m not as sure on how _much_.”

Cas sat on the bed next to him. “I know you’re still angry with me,” he said softly. “Do you want me here or should I go to the other bed?”

“We’ve lost Dean. Hopefully not forever, but…” Sam cut off, scooting over in invitation. “We can’t lose each other too.” Cas curled up against Sam, and Sam drifted into a troubled sleep in the angel’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I am so sorry I am terrible at this whole keeping a schedule thing.
> 
> So I always kinda wondered... did the writers forget about Jim Murphy being in Blue Earth, or just not think it was worth acknowledging?


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wants to say yes. Sam and Cas don't want to let him. Then they find out the angels have a plan B, which leads everyone down a road that can't possibly end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry it took so long to get back to this. I sat down to write it, and I got to a point where I just _couldn't_ do it. I needed to take a break, work on other things.
> 
> I thought I was stepping away for a week or two. It turned into nine months. That happened because every time I thought about getting back to this, I'd think, "it's been so long, I'm disappointing the people who were reading this," and it just snowballed. The longer it went, the more guilt I felt every time I looked at the file.
> 
> Screw that guilt. There's a story here and it's waiting to be told. Once again, I apologize for the long wait.

“I’m sorry I disappeared the way I did,” Cas said as he and Sam watched the hotel where Sam knew Dean would go to finish his preparations. “Do you think that’s part of how we got here?”

“Honestly? Probably,” Sam had to say. “Our trip through Heaven was… it had to be choreographed by Zachariah and his pals, I refuse to believe it’s coincidence that all of my memories were of getting away from my family. He told me that he thought God was our last hope. Dean was faced with not seeing any hope we can win this, you in the wind somewhere, and me not caring about him the way he thought I did.”

“All this time, this past year, how can he possibly doubt that you love him?” Castiel asked, not understanding.

Sam looked away. “Have you met Dean? He’s not exactly the most emotionally healthy guy out there. People call us codependent all the time, and they have no idea just how deep it goes. All our lives, Dean’s been all about family. Taking care of me, in particular. I’m just as bad as he is now, but when I was younger, I wasn’t. I was able to walk away from my family. From Dean. He couldn’t do that. The only reason he was able to drive away from us now is because he’s given up. Not sure you sticking around would’ve helped much anyway, you have to have taken God’s apathy even worse than Dean.” Cas shrugged. “We can second-guess ourselves until Dean shows, ask ourselves what we could have done differently, but it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done, this is not gonna happen again.”

 

Dean had nearly finished the bottle of Scotch when Sam signaled Cas that it was time. He picked the lock – Dean never even glanced away from his drink. “Sending someone a candygram?”

Dean turned, surprise and sadness on his face. “Sammy?”

“You’re gonna kill yourself, right?” Sam glanced pointedly at the box on the bed. “I lived the farewell tour with you once before, how are you even a little surprised I knew where I’d find you?”

Dean sighed. “I’m not gonna kill myself.”

“Kill yourself, let Michael make you his muppet, not really seeing a difference, Dean.” Dean refilled his Scotch, not bothering to deny it. “This is how it ends? You just walk away? How could you do that?”

“Learned it from my brother,” Dean said. “All you’ve ever done is walk away.”

“Yeah? You think leaving you in a life you loved, with a father you loved, and every intention of at least staying in contact with you is anything at all like what you’re doing here? And every other time I ran, I was wrong. Just, please… not now. Bobby’s…”

“Just stop,” Dean said. “We got nothing and you know it.”

“You know I have to stop you.”

Dean set down his glass and moved to the most open area of the room. “Well, come on. Just remember, you’ve never once beaten me in a one-on-one fight.”

“No, I haven’t,” Sam admitted. “But this time, it’s not one-on-one. I have backup.” Dean spun around just in time for Castiel to zap him off to Bobby’s. Sam grabbed the box and opened it, digging around until he found the Impala keys so he could drive it back to Sioux Falls.

 

Dean was restless. More research, more dead ends, no leads, no reason to think there was anything else they could possibly do. He knew the pacing and the sarcastic comments weren’t helpful, but it’s not like there was any reason to help.

“What the hell happened to you?” Ellen asked. This started another tiff when Dean tried to make them see reality.

Bobby closed his book. “You can’t just give up, son.”

Dean shook his head. He knew he was gonna hurt Bobby with this one, but maybe they’d let him go. “You ain’t my father. And you ain’t in my shoes.”

Everyone in the room looked shocked and upset. No one said anything until Bobby pulled a pistol out of his desk and a bullet from his shirt pocket. “This is the round I mean to put through my skull. Every morning I wake up, and I ask myself. Is today the day I flip the lights out?” Bobby put the bullet away. “But I don’t do it. I never do it. And you know why?” Dean didn’t have a chance to answer as Bobby slammed his hands on the desk. “Because I promised you I wouldn’t give up! Because we don’t need another hole in this family!”

Dean was still trying to figure out how to respond to that when Cas grabbed at his head and nearly fell to his knees. Sam caught him, helped him stabilize himself. “Cas, you okay?”

“No.” His face took on the stare that Dean had come to associate with tuning in to angel radio. “Something’s happening.” He disappeared, his wings sending papers flying throughout the room.

 

“I’m gonna get a beer, do you mind?” 

Sam looked up from his book and glared at Dean, but stepped aside anyway. He was about to call Dean out on his crappy behavior when he heard wings and Castiel’s voice calling for help. The angel dropped a muddy figure onto the bed, and Sam stared in shock as he recognized the boy. “That’s our brother.”

“Your brother?” Ellen asked incredulously. “Y’all have a brother?”

“Had, a brother.” Dean whirled on Cas. “What the hell, Cas.”

Cas held out the blades he’d managed to take from the other angels before killing them. “Angels. Two of Zachariah’s goons. We need to hide him, now.” Cas put his hand to Adam’s chest, and the boy woke up from the pain.

Dean tried to explain, but Adam already knew who they were. “The angels warned me about you two psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent bastards. Said you’d try to get me on your side, but when it came down to it, the only thing either of you care about is each other. Now, where the hell is Zachariah?”

“Not here,” Ellen said. “Look. We aren’t gonna hurt you, but we need to know what the hell is going on here, because dead people coming out of the grave usually means something big is about to go down.”

Adam told how he’d been in Heaven, and angels came to him to tell him he was chosen. “Me and some archangel are gonna ice the devil. I’m Michael’s sword, or vessel, or something.”

“That’s insane,” Dean said. Sam agreed, but Cas didn’t.

“He is John Winchester’s son, Sam’s brother. It’s not a perfect fit, but it is possible.” Well, Cas was the expert, but that still left the question of why they’d go to this trouble for a substandard product. “Maybe they’re getting desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed that Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.”

Dean glared over his shoulder. “You know what? Blow me, Cas.”

Sam caught the discombobulation on Cas’s face and cut in before he could take that too literally. “No way. All that talk about destiny, all the crap we’ve been through… and now there’s a plan B?”

Adam tried to leave, and Sam stopped him. This was going to be fun, with Dean and Adam both trying to run away and give themselves over to Michael. Adam still trusted that angels were what humans thought they were, and to be fair, they hadn’t actually lied to him. “Give me one good reason I should trust you.”

“Because we’re blood.” That got him an odd look from Dean, but if Adam was enough Winchester to be Michael’s host, somewhere in there he had to be enough Winchester to know the importance of family.

“You got no right to say that to me,” Adam said. “John Winchester was some guy who came by once a year, took me to a baseball game. I didn’t have a dad. It was just me and my mom. You may be blood, but you aren’t family. My mom is my family. And if I do my job, I get to see her again.”

“Fair enough. But if you have one good memory of Dad, just one… all I’m asking for is a little more time.” Adam agreed, very reluctantly, to stay for a couple of days.

 

Sam wasn’t stupid, though. He caught Adam trying to slip out and managed to stop him. “You know, you pitch this whole dewy-eyed bromance thing, but the truth is I’m on lockdown, right?”

Sam didn’t deny it, instead turning the talk to John Winchester and what a crappy dad he was. “Trust me, the only thing worse than seeing Dad once a year? Seeing him all year. Dean and me didn’t have a mom, either.”

“You two at least had each other. It was me, and my mom, and that’s it. Mom worked graveyard shift at the hospital to make ends meet, so I saw her for an hour or two after school. I cooked my own dinners, I put myself to bed. So complain about Dad all you want, but the truth is, I would have taken anything.” Sam couldn’t blame him for the bitterness there. If he could talk the kid into sticking around, Adam was gonna fit right in.

Once he was reasonably sure Adam wasn’t going anywhere for a while, mostly because Ellen was watching him now, Sam went down to the panic room where they’d stashed Dean. Cas was already down there, leaning against the door. “I sincerely hope this is the last time I have to see this basement,” Cas said. “I got more than enough of it when you were fighting for your life.”

“Oh believe me I would love to never see the panic room again myself,” Sam said. “Come on. We need to at least try to talk some sense into him.”

Cas opened the door. “Is this really necessary?” Dean asked.

“House full of flight risks, Dean,” Sam said. “Ellen’s keeping an eye on Adam, but all of us except Cas gotta sleep sometime.”

“I’m not letting him do it,” Dean said.

“I’m not either. But I’m also not letting you.”

Dean went to sit on the desk. “Haven’t we gotten enough people killed, Sam? Mom, Dad, Jess, Jo… I’m not letting that kid take a bullet for me. I’m tired of fighting this, man. This is who I’m supposed to be.”

Sam’s jaw clenched as he tried to keep the frustration out of his voice. “You need to quit sacrificing yourself, Dean. We need to stick together.”

“If one of you goes down, how long do you think I can keep the other one from going down with you?” Cas asked. “Bobby, Ellen, they don’t have a chance.”

Dean shook his head, the picture of hopelessness. “I can’t. I just… I don’t believe. I’ve seen it, remember? We can’t stop Lucifer. Even that Dean was banking everything on the Colt. In that future, it was demon blood. Maybe that’s how it’ll go down here, maybe they’ll use something else, but they will find a way to turn you. I’m sorry, but they will.”

“So you’re saying I’m not strong enough,” Sam said. He knew Dean had lost hope, but he hadn’t known he was this far gone.

“You’re angry. You’re self-righteous. Lucifer’s gonna wear you to the prom.”

“Don’t you say that to me,” Sam said, starting to blink back tears. “Not you, of all people.”

“I don’t want to, but it’s the truth. And when that happens, someone’s gotta be there to stop you… and it ain’t gonna be that kid. So it’s gotta be me.”

Sam couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get out of there. He fled up the stairs, to find Adam sleeping. “How is he?” Bobby asked. Sam didn’t answer. “How are you?” This time, Sam turned to actually look at Bobby, letting the tears answer for him.

 

Dean wasn’t surprised when Cas went after Sam. He’d counted on it, to give him time to finish the sigil. Once he was done, he tossed a lamp, knowing Cas – and only Cas – would hear the noise. He got into position to wait.

Sure enough, Cas threw the door open not long after. It killed him to do it, but he got Cas’s attention – if he was going to stab his lover in the back like this, the least he could do was do it to his face. He caught the look on Cas’s face as he slammed his hand into the sigil, but he could not let himself deal with it right now. There was no way Sam didn’t hear the scream as Cas vanished, and he’d be down as quickly as possible. Dean needed to get out of there, now.

 

Sam heard Cas’s scream and went to investigate. It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened. Damn Dean anyway. How could he do that to Cas?

“Where’s Cas?” Ellen asked when Sam came back up.

Sam barely paused. “Blown to Oz. Look, I’ll get Dean, you keep an eye on Adam.”

“Good luck,” Ellen said. “When you catch Dean, don’t kick his ass too hard, I’ll want a turn myself.”

“No promises.” Sam headed out.

 

Apparently there were good sides to losing his powers. Cas was weak, yes. But getting blown away like Dean had done should have taken much longer to recover from. He tuned in to angel radio, just in time to hear a prayer starting. In Sioux Falls.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven…”

Cas wondered what would happen if he told the guy the truth, that their Father was not there. He didn’t imagine it would work, so he went with, “You pray too loud.” Dean didn’t have time to recover from the shock before Cas grabbed his jacket and practically threw him into the alley behind the bar.

“Are you crazy?” Dean asked when Castiel threw the first punch.

The word mad has two meanings. One implies anger, the other insanity. Castiel thought he could understand how that had happened. “I rebelled for THIS?” he shouted, throwing Dean from one wall to the other. Dean stumbled into a garbage can, nearly knocking it over as he tried to right himself. The second Dean was upright, Cas’s fist met his face. Twice. Once again grabbing Dean by the coat, Cas moved his face only inches away from Dean’s. “So that you could surrender to them?” He shoved Dean over to the first wall, this time bending him over with two blows to the ribs.

“Cas! Please!” So far, Dean hadn’t fought back at all. It was only further evidence of just how broken Dean had become that he would plead but he wouldn’t punch back. The Dean he knew, the Dean he loved, would rather break his own hand than let someone hurt him.

Then again, the Dean he loved would rather kill himself than give up, would do anything rather than betray Sam the way he had. “I loved you! I gave everything for you! And this is what you give to me.” He sent Dean flying into the chain-link fence. Dean tried to stand up, but didn’t have the strength. Good. He stood over Dean for a bit, fury coursing through his veins. He thought he’d experienced wrath in Heaven, wielded the wrath of God against sinners and evil. It was a child’s tantrum compared to what he felt now.

But then, Dean found a spark of his old self. He knelt, bent over, but he was fearless when he told Cas, “Do it.” It was enough to cut through the haze of anger, to allow him to reach down and knock Dean out with a touch of grace to his shoulder rather than another fist or foot to his face.

 

Sam hadn’t gotten very much in the way of results when he got a phone call from Bobby. The news paralyzed him for a second – both Dean and Adam were loose, Sam couldn’t go after them both, Ellen was knocked out, and Bobby couldn’t do much from his chair. As much as it hurt, Sam had to make a choice. Adam had knocked out a woman he didn’t know who was in his way. Dean had blown away their already badly weakened lover who was trying to help them. Sam was just furious enough at Dean for that that he could make the choice to go back.

Ellen had just come around when Sam opened the door. “What the hell happened, Ellen?”

“Turned my back, just long enough to get a beer. Next thing I knew I got hit over the head, heard the door slam. Bobby just told me Adam’s gone.”

“Where’d he go?” Sam asked. “What the hell!”

“Wrong direction. The angels took him.” Sam turned around, sarcastic remark dying on his lips when he saw Cas standing there with Dean unconscious and draped over him.

Fury or no, Sam couldn’t help the relief that Dean was all right. Mostly. “What the hell happened to him?”

“Me.” That made sense. He’d never really seen Cas pissed off before, and he definitely couldn’t blame the angel for delivering a beatdown instead of just knocking Dean out with grace.

“What do you mean the angels took him? Thought you branded his ribs, and you’ve got the house warded pretty damn thorough,” Bobby said.

“I don’t know how, but he must have tipped the angels. Maybe in a dream.”

Sam looked to Dean. Maybe, just maybe, there was still time, they could still save Adam, too. “Where would they have taken him?”

Cas thought for a moment. “There’s a holding room, a place connected to Heaven where we had planned to hold Dean while you freed Lucifer in Ilchester. Angels like plans. They’d probably stick to the plan of bringing Michael’s vessel there for the possession.”

“Makes sense. There a way to get there we can use?” Sam asked.

“There is. But it will be heavily guarded. It will be difficult. It’s probably suicide.” Castiel met Sam’s eyes. “It’s in Van Nuys. Let me get Dean treated and locked down properly.”

“I’ll help. How long will he be out?” Sam asked.

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. The grace shouldn’t last more than ten minutes or so, but I beat him up first.”

“All right.” Sam went and lifted Dean to carry him downstairs.

Once Dean was secure, Cas turned to Sam. “Angels like plans. They try to stick to them as much as possible.”

“I know, you said that earlier,” Sam said.

“This… Plan B… hasn’t sat right with me since you pointed it out. And now the angels are waiting for something. If this was their intent, Michael should have possessed Adam by now. Adam was perfectly happy to say yes. What are they waiting for?”

Sam caught on to what Cas was thinking. “It’s a trap. They don’t know that Dean’s given up, that the only thing between him and Michael is that we won’t let him.”

“And what better trap than family? I think I was intended to overhear the transmission, to be at the grave to pull Adam out. Zachariah’s fooled me before with false overhearing. You know that when Dean wakes up, he’ll insist on coming along. We cannot do that.”

Sam shook his head. “Cas, listen. We could barely watch him for a day. You said it’s gonna be suicide trying to get in. We need all the help we can get, and… I still believe. I believe that Dean will make the right decision. We’ll get Adam, the trap will spring, and Dean will tell the angels to go to Hell.”

“I’m sorry, Sam. I can’t share your faith,” Cas said.

Sam nodded. He looked down at Dean for a while. “Can you believe in me? That even if… even if we do lose Dean, that I can still hold out against Lucifer?”

Cas didn’t answer for a long time. Just when Sam had given up, he started. “I want to, Sam. I can believe that you’ll hold out, that if you’ll let me help you that it can last a long time. But I don’t know that you can survive losing Dean.” That hurt, but Sam had to acknowledge that it was fair. “On the other hand, I can believe that Michael will go after Lucifer as soon as he’s got Dean, as soon as he’s at full strength. So you don’t need to hold out against Lucifer forever. Just long enough. We’ll still have the showdown, but you’ll be safe, and there’s little chance Lucifer wins. If one of them has to, I choose Michael.”

Sam couldn't argue with that. He was about to respond, but Cas had more to say. “And… I’ve doubted you before, and every time, you’ve come through. You saw what was happening to you in time to stop it, you didn’t make that deal with Lilith, you didn’t crawl back to Ruby when I cut you off from my blood, you were right about Jesse Turner. I won’t make that mistake again.”

Sam’s eyes filled with tears as he wrapped his arms around Cas. “Thank you. That means a lot.” He stepped back and sat down. “So if we bring Dean, either we snap him out of this, or we give Michael the best chance he has at winning. We’re running out of hope, running out of time. The longer we let this stretch out, the more people die. Dean didn’t want to take me to Carthage, but even with me, we still lost Jo. We need him, Cas.”

Castiel nodded. “I still don’t like it. But if that’s really what you think is best, I’ll go along with it.”

 

When Dean woke up, he was only partially surprised to find himself handcuffed to a cot in the panic room. He was completely surprised to see Sam sitting there, watching over him. Asking how he was feeling.

“Word to the wise: don’t piss off the nerd angels,” Dean said as he sat up. “How are things going? Magic happen yet?”

“Yeah, not so much.” Shocker. “The angels have Adam. The room where they were gonna take you.”

Well, shit. The kid was gonna take the bullet meant for him after all. And Sam was just sitting here, letting it happen. Dean couldn’t even fake the surprise. “You’re sure?”

“Cas did a recon while we waited for you to wake up,” Sam said.

“So you’re still here because…” Dean prompted.

While they’d been talking, Sam had been fiddling with something Dean couldn’t quite see. He learned what it was when Sam came over and undid the handcuffs. “We were waiting for you to wake up. I’m bringing you with.”

Dean rubbed his wrists. What, had Sam given up on him too? “Isn’t that a bad idea?”

“Cas thinks so, and Bobby and Ellen agree. Doesn’t matter. We need you.”

“Well they’re right. Because either it’s a trap to get me there to make me say yes, or it’s not a trap but I’m gonna say yes anyway. And I will do it. Fair warning.”

“No you won’t,” Sam said with a little shrug.

Dean stared at his little brother. After everything, after what Dean had done, how could the kid still have any faith in him? “You know, if the tables were turned, I’d let you rot in here. Hell, I have let you rot in here.”

“That was different, it was the only safe place for me to fight the blood,” Sam said. “I guess I’m not that smart.”

“I don’t…” Dean shook his head. “I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?”

“Because. You’re still my big brother.” Sam stood up and headed for the door. Dean hesitated, but followed.

 

“Where the hell are we?” Dean asked as he looked around.

“Van Nuys, California,” Cas said as he led the way to an abandoned muffler factory. “Where’d you think we were going?”

“I.. I don’t know. Jupiter? A blade of grass? Not… Van Nuys.”

“You’re sure you can’t just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there?” Sam said, interrupting the fight.

“There are at least five angels in there, maybe more. They’re faster than I am now.” Cas undid his tie and put it in his pocket. “I’ll clear them out, you two grab the boy and run.”

“You’re gonna take on five angels?” Dean said, grabbing Cas’s arm. “Isn’t that suicide?”

“Maybe it is,” Cas acknowledged. Dean glanced over at Sam. There was no way Sam was okay with trading Cas for Adam. Sam didn’t look surprised, though, just resigned. “But at least I won’t have to watch you fail. Sam has faith in you. I don’t. I’m sorry, Dean.” He pulled out a box cutter and slid it open.

That got Sam’s attention. “What the hell are you going to do with that?”

Cas couldn’t meet Sam’s eyes. “I’m going to clear out the angels. I don’t have a handy closet to hide the sigil in, so I have to put it somewhere I can reach easily that they can’t see it. So I’m going to carve it into my chest.”

“Wait a minute, won’t that blow you away too?” Dean asked.

Cas glared. “Yes, we’ve seen it still works on me. It weakened me further. But I came back. I’m not killing my brothers unless I have to, Dean. The banishing will take them out for days, plenty long enough for you to grab Adam and get back to Bobby’s.”

“You said you had a plan,” Sam accused. “You didn’t tell me it was… it’s suicide, Cas! What the hell?”

“I recovered faster from Dean’s banishing, not slower,” Cas said. “This will weaken me. I don’t know where I’ll end up or what state I’ll be in. But I will come back. Please, Sam. If you can have faith in Dean, then have faith in me.”

Sam nodded. Cas carved the sigil, and Sam helped Cas get everything put back so the angels wouldn’t notice anything suspicious. “Come back to us, as soon as you can, Cas. Please,” Sam said after a brief kiss.

“I won’t be there for you to come back to, but I’m counting on you to take care of Sammy for me, Cas,” Dean said. “Long as you can, you look after him since I won’t be there to do it.”

“Of course.” Much to Dean’s surprise, Castiel came to him and kissed him as well. “I hope Sam’s right and that I will be coming back to you as well.”

Cas went inside, and Dean and Sam waited at the door. When they saw the light, Dean looked over to Sam. Sam was devastated, and Dean shared it. For all Cas’s reassurances… who knew what would happen? Sam nodded to him, and Dean went in. One angel lay dead on the ground, but there didn’t seem to be any sign of any others, living or dead. Including Cas.

There was a room within the room, which had to be the holding room Cas had told them about. Dean opened the door to see a very elegant room filled with fancy art, gold decorations on the wall, and a table with the biggest pile of cheeseburgers Dean could imagine. Adam was his brother, all right.

Adam was also slumped against the wall with his eyes closed. “You came for me,” he said in disbelief as Dean woke him up.

“You’re family,” Dean said.

Adam didn’t argue. “Dean, it’s a trap.”

“Figured. Come on.” They didn’t get far before Zachariah was blocking their path. Zachariah gloated a little, which was part of the plan. What wasn’t part of the plan was Zachariah hearing Sam’s footsteps and being quick enough to turn around and knock Sam into a random iron grating hard enough that he couldn’t get up. Zachariah continued to gloat, causing Adam and Sam both to start hemorrhaging, coughing up blood. Dean looked between them in anguish. He couldn’t even trust that Michael wouldn’t share Zachariah’s pettiness and leave Sam and Adam to it.

“Stop it, Zachariah. You win. I’ll do it. The answer is yes.” Dean saw the look on Sam’s face. Apparently, the kid really had believed in him. Really thought that Dean would change his mind. He looked at Adam, who looked resigned to everything. But when he looked back to Sam… somehow, Sam still had hope. He was fighting the pain to let him look up, to be able to meet Dean’s eyes with the puppy eyes that Dean found almost impossible to say no to.

Sam believed in him that much. After everything, after all the lies and betrayals and hearing Dean say over and over that he was giving up, Sam had faith. Sam’s faith was strong enough that Cas had blown himself away to give them this chance, not caring what it did to him. Cas’s words from the alley came back to him. Sam and Cas were giving him everything they had. How could he give them anything less in return?

He couldn’t. He shot Sam a wink as Zachariah finished his Enochian invocation. “Of course, I have a few conditions.”

“Conditions? What?” Zachariah looked surprised. Apparently, this wasn’t part of the plan.

“A few people whose safety you have to guarantee before I say yes to Michael,” Dean said. Zachariah told him to make a list. “But most of all, Michael can’t have me until he disintegrates you.”

“What did you say?”

Dean smirked. “I said before Michael gets one piece of this sweet ass, he has to turn you into a piece of charcoal.”

Zachariah laughed, but it was obviously nervous. “You really think Michael’s gonna go for that?”

Dean swaggered forward. “Who’s more important to him now? You, or me?”

Zachariah grabbed Dean’s coat and pulled him to within a few inches of his face. “You listen to me. You are nothing but a maggot inside a worm’s ass. Michael’s not gonna kill me! Do you know who I am upstairs, after you say yes?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, “expendable.” He swung the blade from behind his back directly into Zachariah’s chin, driving it all the way through until it came out of the top of his skull. The bright light flared, and Dean slammed his eyes closed, hoping his brothers had the sense to figure out what was going on before Zachariah had.

Then there was a high-pitched shrieking. Dean had heard that sound before, back when Castiel had first tried to make contact with him. This time was different. It wasn’t hurting him. He looked over and noticed Adam wasn’t in pain either, at least not from the sound, but Sam was. This must be Michael making his entrance then. He helped Adam to his feet. “Can you walk?” Adam nodded. “Then get out of here.” He went over and helped Sam up. Sam wasn’t going to be able to get out on his own.

Adam paused, looking at Zachariah’s body. “Come on, move it!” He got Sam out the door, but when he heard the door slam, he carefully set Sam down and turned back. The doorknob was too hot to touch, and he was just about to try to kick in the door when the light and noise faded. He opened the door, but inside was only an abandoned office. The beautiful room was gone, as was Adam.

 

When Dean came back out, Sam was on his feet. Apparently Michael had been willing to heal him after all. Maybe it was a condition of Adam’s. They found a car to steal and drove toward Sioux Falls. “Hey, how come Ellen didn’t come on this one?” Dean asked once they were well on their way.

“Adam hit her pretty hard when he took off, she was still seeing double and Cas couldn’t fix it,” Sam said. “You think Adam’s all right?”

Dean shook his head. He and Sam both knew perfectly well that Adam was Michael’s meatsuit by now. “Doubt it. Cas, either. But we’ll get ‘em. Don’t worry.”

Sam nodded. He bit his lip, trying to figure out how to ask. “So?”

“So what?”

“So… I saw your eyes. You were totally rocking the yes back there. What changed your mind?” Sam asked.

Dean chuckled. “Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world’s ending, the walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is ‘This stupid son of a bitch brought me here.’” Sam laughed, but Dean wasn’t done. “I just didn’t wanna let you down.”

“You didn’t,” Sam said. And even with Cas in the wind – again – and Adam being a muppet for an archangel, Sam’s heart felt lighter than it had in a while. “You almost did, but you didn’t.”

And that was it, moment was over. If they’d been in the Impala, now’s when Dean would’ve cranked the music up. Except that Dean wasn’t letting the moment go. “I owe you an apology.”

“No, man, you don’t,” Sam said.

“Just… let me say this,” Dean said. Sam’s first inclination was to protest, but he decided not to fight. After all, Dean opening up, trying to keep a moment going like this… this hadn’t happened in a long time. 

“I don’t know if it’s being a big brother or what, but to me, you’ve always been this snot-nosed kid I’ve had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that’s not you anymore. I know you’re an adult, hell, I tell everyone all the time that you’re the best man I know. Sometimes, I forget that you can stand on your own. But if you’re grown up enough to find faith in me, the least I can do is return the favor.” Sam tried to figure out what to say to that. Dean did it for him. “So screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, do it our way. It’s us against the world, and you know what? I’m betting on us.”

Sam nodded. “Sounds good.” He slipped a hand into his jacket pocket. “Well, in that case, I think it’s time.”

“Time for what?” Dean asked.

“Hold out your hand.” Dean gave him an odd look, but did as he was told. Sam reached over and dropped the amulet into it.

Dean looked at it in shock. “Where… how did you… I figured Cas had thrown that away or lost it when he was out on his bender. Why do you have it?”

“Cas gave it to me right after the trip to Heaven. He couldn’t hold onto it, it reminded him too much of God ditching out on him, but he didn’t want to give it to you, either. He figured you’d do something stupid in the heat of the moment.”

Dean closed his hand around the amulet. “You know this thing didn’t work, right?”

“It didn’t help find God,” Sam said. “Doesn’t change what it’s always meant to me, seeing how much it meant to you. I know by now you’re probably used to not having it, and I know it was a pain in your ass sometimes… or your mouth, remember that time it chipped your tooth? But I wanted to give it back to you, and this seems like the right time. You don’t have to…”

Dean cut off the thought by slipping the cord over his head. “Feels good, having this back where it belongs,” he said. “Sammy, I know I put you through a lot of crap, and what I did to Cas… so I have to ask. Where do we stand?”

“You know, I never did get a chance to yell at Cas for ditching us on his bender. You hurt me, Dean, and I’m not gonna rehash it all. I don’t know how things will stand between you and Cas when we get him back, and that’s gonna be complicated to figure out. But if you’re willing to have faith in me, to stand beside me and fight this thing together, then I’m good with doing it _together_. Fair?”

“Fair.” Dean flipped on the radio, and Sam laughed as Bon Jovi started singing Dead or Alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, I love it when one small change ends up helping me figure out how to deal with another change. In this 'verse, with Ellen alive, I either had to write her into Van Nuys or have a good reason why they were desperate enough to take Dean but left Ellen behind. When I got to Adam's escape, I remembered that Bobby and Cas had come up with a way to ward the house against angels that didn't block Cas, which meant the angels wouldn't be able to take him directly from the house, which meant Adam needed to escape the house. Bobby's in a wheelchair and couldn't stop him, but what about Ellen?


	19. The Most Important Porn Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their way home, Sam and Dean encounter a Biblical storm. They survive and make it back to Bobby's to find a very surprising message left for them.

It had been a long time since Dean had felt this good. Sure, the world was ending, and it was still all his fault, but he’d found something he thought was lost forever. There was only one thing he could think of that would be better than driving down the highway with Sammy in the passenger seat, going from a successful salt-and-burn back to Bobby’s. That would be doing it with Cas in the back seat, or at least planning to meet them when they stopped for the night.

Dean was trying to apply his newfound faith to Cas’s words about being back eventually, but every day, it got harder. He and Sam were looking, Bobby had his ears out, but there was nothing.

When the rain started coming down in sheets, Dean glanced over at Sam. “Think we can make it?”

“I think we need to keep driving. I don’t know how much worse it can get, but you know we won’t feel safe until we get to Bobby’s,” Sam said.

Dean nodded. “Okay. You’re sure?”

Sam nodded. “Besides, I have a bad feeling about trying to stop. Sometimes you gotta trust your gut, right?”

The storm managed to get a little worse, but it suddenly broke as soon as they crossed the state line into Illinois. “Weird.”

Sam huffed. “Yeah. Should we…”

“Man, I am exhausted,” Dean said. “I can’t go back into that, and you know there’s no way I let you drive Baby through a Biblical storm.”

“Thought you’d discovered a little faith in me,” Sam teased.

Dean shot him a grin. “Not where my Baby’s concerned. God could get off his apathetic ass and appear in the road himself to tell me different, and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

“Okay, fine, whatever, let’s find a motel, then,” Sam said.

 

Once they got to Bobby’s, things got weird. Ellen handed Dean a Casa Erotica DVD. “This showed up on the porch. There’s a note inside sayin’ to guard this with your lives and to watch it as soon as you could.”

“Okay, what porno is good enough to be worth our lives?” Dean asked, taking the DVD and opening it.

_Dean-o! Samsquatch! Baby Bro!_

_Pay very close attention. This DVD is very important. Quite possibly the most important thing you will ever touch. Guard it with your lives. Watch it the second you get a chance._

“Gabriel,” Dean said. “This is some sort of trick.”

“Maybe he disguised an important message as porn so the angels wouldn’t watch it? Do angels aside from Gabriel watch porn?”

“Dunno. Come on, let’s go watch this.” Dean took the DVD outside where Sam set up his laptop.

Sam rolled his eyes when the DVD turned out to indeed be porn. “Trust Gabriel for that,” he muttered.

“Hey, there’s gotta be a reason for it,” Dean said. “And in the meantime… this is a good one.”

The reason became apparent when Gabriel showed up with the kielbasa order and a really bad fake mustache. After a bit of making out with the girl, he turned to the camera. “Sam. Dean. If you’re watching this, then I’m out of this game. For real, not just benched. The pagan gods had a meeting, and they were gonna try to kill Lucifer. They’d be slaughtered. I went to try to talk some sense into them, but something went wrong. Most likely, Lucifer showed up, we fought, and I lost.

“Without me, you’ve got zero shot at killing Lucifer. Sorry. But there is a way you can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from, down below… it’s still there, and maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it’ll be easy. You’ll have to get the Cage open, trick my brother back into it, and oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey, details, right?

“And here’s the big secret. Lucifer himself doesn’t even know. But the key to the Cage? It’s out there. Actually it’s keys, plural. Four keys. Well, four rings. Four Horsemen. You get ‘em all, you got the Cage. Can’t say I’m betting on you boys, but hey… I’ve been wrong before.

“And Dean – you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother. I’ve been riding the pine a long time, but it was time for me to get back in it. Neither Michael nor Lucifer has this one right. I’m on your side. Humanity’s side. Because Dad was right. You guys are the best of his creations, in spite of your flaws, and someone needs to stand up and at least try to make Michael and Lucifer understand. So this is me, standing up.” The girl Gabriel had been ignoring was back now, and Gabriel flopped on the bed, putting his fake mustache back in place. “And this is me… lying down.”

“What the… oh, man,” Sam said, slamming the laptop closed. “I did not need to see that.”

“Yeah.” Dean shook his head. “So. Horsemen. We got War’s.”

“Please tell me you grabbed Famine’s when I…”

“Yeah. So that’s two. We’re halfway there already,” Dean said. “Just gotta get Pestilence and Death’s.”

“Great. You make it sound so easy,” Sam said.

Dean shrugged. “It’s a plan. Cas, Adam, Pestilence, and Death. And then we just have to figure out how to trick Lucifer back into the Cage.”

“Could really use a Trickster for that,” Sam said. “Can’t really bring myself to be sorry he’s gone, but we could’ve used his help.”

“Yeah. Well, we’ll just have to muddle through. We always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a really hard one to know what to do with. The *only* good things about this episode were Kali and the bits with Gabriel, half of which the Winchesters weren't around for. Plot-wise, the only really important things to happen are Gabriel's death and the tip about the rings, which could both be covered without having to try to deal with the mixed messages and muddy sinkhole that is the "pagan" gods in this episode. I wrote the episode normally, hated it, and decided to go with the punted version.
> 
> (How is Kali "pagan"? She's a Hindu goddess, and Google tells me there are 828 million people who follow that religion. But we're going to throw her in with Odin and Mercury, whose religions have pretty much faded to the fringes and history?)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when a demon comes and offers to help you trap Lucifer in the cage? After the demon had given you a plan that didn't work?
> 
> Well, if you're Dean, you say okay and go right along with it.

Step one of muddling through: track the horsemen. There were a lot of reports out of California of cases of swine flu popping up seemingly out of nowhere. Dean wondered why Pestilence wasn’t going straight for the Croatoan. It didn’t make any sense.

“I might have some answers for you,” said a somewhat familiar voice from the back seat.

Sam had his knife out and was stabbing back as Dean swerved and pulled the Impala to a stop. “Did you get him?”

“He’s gone,” Sam said, pulling the knife out of the back seat.

He hadn’t gone far. “Fancy a fag and a chat?” Crowley said.

Sam and Dean both got out. “After what you did to us? You set us up!”

“I gave you the Colt!” Crowley shouted.

“Yeah, and you knew it wouldn’t work!” Dean snapped.

“We lost someone on that suicide run! A good person!” Sam added. He didn’t add that they’d lost Dean, too. Dean had come back.

“Who you take on the ride is your own business! Look, we’re still all in this together. I’m serving my own best interests, which just happen to be yours as well,” Crowley said. He ducked as Sam took another swing at him. “Call off your dog.”

Dean held Sam back. Sam glared, but let Dean calm him. “Give me one good reason.”

“I can give you Pestilence.” Dean and Sam looked at each other, and Crowley smirked. “That’s got your interest, doesn’t it?”

Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Dean, but Dean actually looked interested. “Are you actually considering this? Are you nuts?” After all the times Dean had harped on him trusting Ruby, now he was going to trust the frigging king of the crossroads demons, who had already set them up once?

“Shut up for a second, Sam!”

“Shut up, the both of you!” Crowley cut in before Sam could really start fighting with Dean. “Look, I thought the Colt would work, it was an honest mistake. Nothing’s changed, I still want the devil dead. Well, one thing’s changed, because now the devil knows I want him dead, which, by the way, makes me the most buggered son in all of creation.”

“Oh, we don’t care,” Dean said.

“They burned down my house. They ate my tailor! Every demon in Hell and on Earth’s got his eyes out for me, and yet, here I am. Last place I should be. In the road, talking to Sam and Dean Winchester, under a freaking spotlight!” He shot out the light. “Look, it’s simple. Do you want the rings or not?” Sam was startled, and he could see Dean was, too. “Yes, I know all about that.”

“Sam…”

“No. You know what Cas said about him, and then the thing with the Colt… when have we ever trusted a demon and had it go right?” Sam asked.

“Hey, you know anything about Cas?” Dean asked, looking back to Crowley.

“What about him? Last I’d heard, he was failing, losing his power, but still helping the two of you,” Crowley said.

“Never mind about Cas, then,” Sam said. “Pestilence. Tell us what you know.”

“Not that easy, Sam. Come with me.” They both hesitated, and Crowley rolled his eyes. “You two knuckleheads are my best chance at survival. I’m not going to do anything to you.”

They followed Crowley to his new home, which was a huge step down from his old one, Sam had to admit. Crowley admitted to spying on them through a tracking device in their car. “My coin easily trumps your little bags of bones. I hear things, too. And oh my, the things I’ve heard.”

Sam was all for killing Crowley again, but Dean put a hand on his arm to stop him. “Look, cut the crap. You’ve heard the plan. You want in? You said you could give us Pestilence,” Dean said.

“Well. I don’t know where Pestilence himself is, but I know who can get you that information. He’s the Horsemen’s stable boy, handling their itineraries, their personal needs. So, we bring him here, and then I sell him.”

“Sell him,” Sam said. Crowley wanted to make a deal with the guy?

“Please, I’ve sold sin to saints for centuries,” Crowley said. “You think I can’t close one little demon?”

“Fine. Set it up,” Dean said.

Crowley went off to make arrangements, and the Winchesters brought in their weapons to go over. “Why are we listening to him, Dean? How does this make sense?” Sam asked.

“If it works, we’re one ring closer to the endgame, and if it doesn’t work, well… we kill Crowley and this other demon and take off,” Dean said. “Like you said about the Trickster. We don’t have to be friends. Just have to give him a chance. I mean, the Colt… maybe that _was_ an honest mistake.”

“Dean…”

Crowley returned then. He then shared one part of the plan he hadn’t mentioned: “Sam’s not coming.”

“Yeah? And why the hell not?” Sam asked.

“Because… I don’t like you, I don’t trust you, and oh yeah, you keep trying to kill me!”

“There’s no damn way. This isn’t gonna happen.”

Crowley look to Dean, who met his gaze with steel… until Crowley walked away. Then Dean called him back and agreed to go. “What can I say? I believe the guy,” he said in explanation. “Sammy… we’re running low on options.”

“Fine. You get to trust demons. Great. Go on. Have fun.” Sam walked out behind them to see them off. Once they were gone, he called Bobby and explained the situation.

“Maybe it’s time to go crazy,” Bobby said.

That’s what Sam was thinking. He’d been thinking a lot lately, since Gabriel’s message. Getting the rings, opening the Cage, that was the easy part. How could they trick Lucifer into jumping, though? “Bobby? That time you were possessed, Meg tried to make you kill Ellen? You took your body back.”

“Just long enough to shank myself instead, but yeah,” Bobby said. “What about it?”

“How’d you do it?”

“Why you askin’?” Bobby asked, voice dripping with suspicion.

“Look. We need to trick the devil into jumping, or falling, or whatever. What if you guys get him to the edge, and I jump in? All I need is one moment. One action.”

“Are you idjits trying to kill me?” Bobby shouted. “We just got done getting your brother back from the ledge and now you’re lining up?”

“No, Bobby, it’s not like that,” Sam said. “Dean gave up. He wasn’t solving the problem of stopping the Apocalypse, he was becoming part of it. I’m proposing a solution. And I’m not gonna do it unless you guys are on board. But we have to look at our options, here.”

“This ain’t an option, Sam! What I did, that was a million to one, and that was some pissant demon. You’re talking about wrestling back control from Satan himself! He’s gonna use everything against you. Your fear, your grief, your anger… and you said it yourself, you’re angry, all the time. You can barely control yourself most days. How you gonna control the devil?”

Sam didn’t have an answer for that. But he knew, deep down, that he could do it. That this was the way.

 

Dean hated leaving Sam behind. He didn’t trust Crowley, although he believed that Crowley happened to share their best interests in this case. He was fully expecting something to go wrong, and he wanted his brother beside him watching his back. But, Crowley’s intel, Crowley’s rules.

Didn’t mean he had to like them, as Crowley killed the human shields the demons were using. And then sent Dean to the demon floor alone. “It’s not safe up there! There’s demons!”

The blond guy seemed to have expected him. “How’s your brother?” When Dean didn’t answer, he didn’t seem surprised. “Well, down to business then. What can I do for you?”

Crowley had told Dean what to say here. Offer him War and Famine’s rings, get him to come along to make the transaction, and then take him prisoner so Crowley could start on the real deal. There was only one slight hiccup.

“I don’t want the rings,” Stable Boy said. “Even if I could force them back onto their bony fingers, it wouldn’t do much good. I want retribution, and I’m going to rip it out of your ass!”

Stable Boy got him kicked around pretty good, and of course, Crowley was nowhere in sight when Dean got back to the first floor. Stable Boy was right there, and was just about to really go to town on Dean when a burlap sack was thrown over his head. “What was that?”

“That was perfect!” Apparently, this had been the real plan all along. Damn, Dean missed Sam right about now. He deserved to hear the I told you so’s. On the other hand, Crowley had come through and captured Stable Boy, and he’d done it in time to keep him from hurting Dean too seriously.

On the way back, Crowley informed him of another wrinkle in the plan. They weren’t taking Stable Boy back to Sam. Dean was not going to go along with that, not without a very good explanation. And Crowley’s explanation of the history between Stable Boy and Sam? Not good enough.

 

Sam was waiting for Dean. He should probably be sleeping, or something remotely productive, but he couldn’t. Cas was missing, Bobby was so pissed about Sam’s idea that he’d hung up on him, and Dean was off with a demon. Not just any demon, but the demon that set them up the last time Dean died.

He ran down the stairs when he heard the familiar sound of the Impala shutting off. Crowley met him at the bottom of the stairs. “For the record, I’m against this.”

“Screw you. Where’s Dean?” Sam tried to go around him.

Crowley blocked his path. “I begged Dean not to bring him back here, to you. This is going to be tricky enough without you charging in like a moose. Dean replied with a colorful rejoinder about my ‘corn chute’.”

Sounded like Dean, all right. Crowley finally let Sam past, and he found Dean tying up a guy in a business suit and burlap sack. “Dean?”

Dean came over to him. “Sam, look. I need you to stay on mission. We need this guy, so keep a handle on your anger, okay?”

“I don’t…” Sam looked over at the demon. “Dean, what’s going on?”

“Sam? Is that you?” the demon said. The voice was very, very familiar. And when Dean pulled off the hood… “Brady?”

“Brady hasn’t been Brady in years. Not since… oh, middle of our sophomore year?” Demon-Brady laughed.

At first, Sam was stunned. Then he was pissed. Second half of his sophomore year, a couple of major things happened. “You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch! All those things you started saying about Dean… and you introduced me to Jess!”

Dean shoved him out of the room before Sam could get his hands on Brady. “Look. You’re pissed, and I get it. But we need Pestilence to stop Lucifer, and we need Brady to get to Pestilence.”

“Why? Because Crowley says so?” Dean didn’t answer. “So we’re trusting Crowley now. Like I trusted Ruby… like I trusted Brady back at school? What the hell, Dean.”

“Sam, if this works… if Crowley can turn him… search for Pestilence is over and we’ve got three of four. If this doesn’t work, then we’ve killed the Horsemen’s handler, and Crowley for that matter, which ought to throw the Horsemen into some kind of confusion, at least. Maybe we can take advantage of that. I’m not asking you to let Brady walk. He set Jess up to get killed, and when Crowley told me I wanted to rip him apart myself. I’m just asking you to wait until we’ve got what we need. Okay?”

“It’s not just Jess,” Sam said. “When he came back from Thanksgiving sophomore year, he was different. He’d always hated you, you know that, but until then, he’d keep it to rolling his eyes when he heard me talking to you or you came to visit. After Thanksgiving, he started talking about you. Saying things. A lot of what I said to you that April came from five months of hearing it from Brady.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t change that now,” Dean said. “Why don’t you go take a walk, work off some of the rage? You’re angry, and whether Crowley’s on the level or not we can’t afford you being so pissed you’re reacting blindly. Shove it down, bury it, you can let it all out when we’ve got what we need.”

Sam met Dean’s eyes. Dean was trusting him with this, and he could still hear Bobby asking how he was going to control Lucifer. Maybe this was the first step. He nodded and headed out the back door.

When Crowley left to kick in a hive of demons, though, Sam couldn’t resist. He trapped Dean in the bathroom and went to talk to Brady. Brady confirmed his suspicions about when he’d taken possession, and why. He hadn’t expected Brady to tell him he was the one to actually kill Jessica, though. And go into detail about how. He very nearly lost it, but he settled for a shallow cut across Brady’s neck. It’d sting, but Brady was fine. He could still talk. He could still be useful.

“What did you do?” Dean asked when Sam let him out of the bathroom.

“Nothing. He’s fine. Not quite as good condition as Crowley left him, but hardly roughed up any worse than Crowley already did,” Sam said. “Like you said. We need him.”

Crowley returned then. He’d gone and massacred a demon’s nest, letting one of the demons live to spread the word that he and Brady were “Lovers in league against Satan.” Sam bit his lip. It wasn’t that funny, really. But just as they were getting to the good part, there was a howl outside.

Sam looked over to Dean, whose voice was shaking as he asked, “Was that a hellhound?” That’s what Sam had thought, and he moved to get a hand on Dean’s shoulder. They had some really bad experiences with hellhounds. The hounds had followed a tracking device on Crowley, but Crowley was able to blink out.

“I told you!” Sam shouted. It was only part little brother need to rub it in; Dean was paralyzed.

It worked. Dean snapped out of the fear and went to get the salt from the kitchen. Unfortunately, the hellhound got between him and the salt, so he fell back to Sam. Sam didn’t know what Dean could do at this point, but at least this time they’d die together.

“Hey!” Crowley reappeared behind the hellhound. “Stay!”

“You can control them?” Dean asked in disbelief.

“Not that one,” Crowley said. He patted the air beside him. “I brought my own. Mine’s bigger. Sic ‘em, girl!”

Crowley directed them to an alley. No way out. It was perfect. Brady handed over a place and time for finding Pestilence. Dean salted the way out of the alley, pausing just long enough to let Crowley out – he had, after all, come through for them – and turned to stand beside Sam.

“All those angels, all those demons, all those other sons of bitches, they don’t get it, do they, Sammy?” Dean said.

“Nope.”

Dean grinned. “You see… we’re the ones you should be afraid of.”

Brady laughed as Sam started forward with the knife raised. “I bet this is a real moment for you, big boy.” Sam tuned out the rest of the taunting. Something about demon blood. Brady did get his attention with, “Maybe the only real difference between you and a demon is that your Hell is right here.”

He could feel Dean staring at him. They had more important things to do than to stay here and take all the anger out on Brady. He drove the knife home, letting Brady twitch for a few seconds before putting an end to it. “Interesting theory.”

Once back in the Impala, Dean looked over to Sam. “You good? Get what you needed out of that?”

“Yeah. I’m good. He say anything interesting? I wasn’t really listening.”

“Nah. Just the same old shit any demon would say to get under your skin,” Dean said. “Call Bobby, give him the intel and let him know we’re on our way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Juliet.
> 
> This episode bugs me. I know, it's the start of the epic bromance of Dean and Crowley, but it just *bugs* me that after all the times he yelled at Sam for trusting a demon, he not only trusts a demon, he trusts one who quite possibly set them up the last time they met. At least with Ruby and Brady, they either hijacked a friend or acted like one.


	21. The Eleventh Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finish their treasure hunt, but disagree about what their endgame should be.

Sam knew the conversation was going to be bad. So he waited until they were back at Bobby’s to have it. “Dean? I need to talk to you.”

“Oh boy. What’s up, Sammy?”

“Look. We’ve got two rings, a good lead on a third, and Bobby says he’s got something the fourth, right? But then what?” Sam leaned against the kitchen counter.

Dean shrugged, not really understanding why this was so important. “Then we… call Lucifer, arrange a meeting, find some way to trap him, I guess. Have to say I’m not too sure how that’s gonna happen…”

“See, I have an idea about that. If I jump…”

“He’s not gonna follow you, true vessel or not,” Dean said. “And you end up in Hell.”

Sam shook his head. “No, Dean. He won’t need to follow me. I can do what Bobby did… take back control of my body just long enough for one action. One jump.”

“That still ends up with you in Hell, and… wait a minute. You want to say yes now? Everything you did to stop me…”

“I’d do again, because you weren’t gonna do anything else,” Sam said. “I can do this, Dean. I’m strong enough. If Lucifer’s back in his cage, he can’t fight Michael, Apocalypse averted, world saved.”

“No. This is…”

“Dean…”

“Don’t Dean me!” Dean turned to where Bobby was trying not to listen from the other room. “Did you know about this?”

“Sam mighta said something, yeah,” Bobby said. “Ellen, too.”

“Well thanks for the heads up!” Dean turned back to Sam. “You’re not doing this.”

Sam shrugged. “That’s the consensus.”

“Okay then.” Any further argument was cut off by Dean’s cell phone ringing. “This isn’t over.”

“Sounded like it was,” Sam said.

Dean just glared at him, answering his phone. “Cas?” He switched to speaker. “Where are you, man? We were starting to think…”

“I’m in a hospital,” Cas said. “Apparently I appeared on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I’m told it upset the sailors. The doctors here thought I was brain-dead, and I only just woke up.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. We figured out a way to pop Satan’s box, and we’re going after Pestilence now. So if you can zap over here…” Dean said.

“I can’t ‘zap’ anywhere,” Cas said. “You could say my batteries are drained.”

“You’re saying you’re out of angel mojo?” Dean said.

There was a long exasperated sigh. “I told you this was a likely outcome. I’m alive, but pretty much useless now. I can’t go anywhere without money for the trip. And food. And more pain medication, ideally.”

“Well, hold tight and Bobby will get that to you. Just glad you’re alive, man.”

“Dean, wait. You said no to Michael. I owe you an apology.”

“Yeah, why’d you call me instead of Sam anyway?”

“I… couldn’t remember Sam’s number,” Cas said. “I barely remembered yours. And they wouldn’t give me my cell phone.”

“Okay, well, can’t wait to see you, man. Anything you wanna say to Sam before we take off?”

“Sam, I’m glad you were right. I’m sorry it took so long for me to wake up.”

Sam chuckled. “Thanks, Cas. At least I wasn’t alone. Good to have you back.”

Cas hung up, so Sam and Dean took off after promising to pay Bobby back for whatever he sent Cas – good money, not credit card fraud. They found the retirement center Brady had indicated, broke in to the security camera watch station, and settled in for a long, boring night. Dean couldn’t concentrate, so it was Sam who noticed the camera fritzing around one person in particular.

They should’ve figured that Pestilence would use sickness as a weapon. They were closing in when symptoms started. Fighting him was going to be interesting, but all they had to do was get close enough to take his ring. Cut off the finger, the whole hand, good old-fashioned theft… it wasn’t too much. Sam hoped.

Pestilence was just as full of himself as all the other demons they’d met. Blah blah God sucks disease is awesome. So there were multiple reasons why Sam was very happy to see Cas walk in. Some of those evaporated when Cas fell to his knees, coughing up blood. Pestilence found it funny. “There’s not even a speck of angel left in you, is there.”

Cas got to his feet, scooped up the knife, and got it against Pestilence’s hand. “Maybe just a speck.” He sliced, and the fingers came free. With that, Sam and Dean’s various illnesses evaporated, and they got to their feet.

Pestilence laughed. “Doesn’t matter. You’re too late.” He disappeared.

Dean went to grab the ring, and Sam went to Cas. “Hey, good to see you. Perfect timing, man. Thanks.”

Cas wiped off the knife and handed it to Sam. “Of course. Bobby didn’t tell me much. Why do we need Pestilence’s ring?”

Sam explained what had happened with Gabriel. “So we’ve got a plan that has a better shot of working than anything else we’ve thought of.”

“Yes. That makes sense. We were always told to protect the Horsemen, even though they were servants of Lucifer. This is probably why.”

“Come on, we need to get out of here,” Dean said. “Before investigations start.”

 

Back at Bobby’s, neither Bobby or Ellen understood why the Winchesters weren’t thrilled about this. “It’s a home run, boys.”

“Yeah, but… he said it’s too late,” Sam said. “We think he may have left a bomb somewhere.”

“So we’ve got Cas and we’ve got Pestilence’s ring, two things off the to-do list, but now we’re starting from scratch on a new one,” Dean said. “I’m kinda getting sick of this. Tell me you have some good news, guys.”

“Well… Chicago’s about to be wiped off the map, storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die.”

Dean laid his head down. That should be bothering him instead of making him think it must be Tuesday. “Huh.”

“I don’t understand your definition of good news,” Cas said. Dean rolled his eyes and looked over to see Sam trying not to laugh.

“Well, Death. The Horseman. He’ll be there.” That… did actually kick it up to good news, Dean figured. They knew where to find Death.

“How’d you put this all together, anyway?” Sam asked. Leave it to Sam to want to know the research details.

Turns out it was just as well, because Crowley showed up. Bobby had made a deal. Dean could have lived forever without the knowledge that Bobby had kissed Crowley, let alone seeing the picture. And then Crowley refused to give back Bobby’s soul. “It’s insurance. You boys kill demons, Gigantor over there has a big temper problem. I’ll give back the soul, once this is over and I can walk safely away. Do we understand each other?”

Dean didn’t answer. They had to get to Chicago, and the less time they spent talking to stupid traitor demons, the better. Sam and Cas followed. “Look, Dean… I know why you’re against the plan, and for the record, I agree with you.”

“What plan?” Cas interrupted.

“Genius here thinks the way to get Lucifer back into the Cage once we have it open is for him to let Lucifer have him and take back control,” Dean said.

“Sam… suicide?” Cas asked.

Sam shrugged. “I know you don’t think I’m strong enough. I don’t either. I know I’m screwed up, I have all kinds of chinks in my armor that Lucifer’s gonna make the most of. You, Cas, Bobby, Ellen… I’m the least of all you.”

“Sam, no you’re not,” Dean said, and Cas agreed.

Sam just waved him off. “Doesn’t matter. If there were another way, I would gladly jump on it. But I don’t think there is. I’m all we’ve got. And I’m willing to do it, to try.”

“Even though you’ll end up in the deepest part of Hell, where I might not have been able to reach you even at full strength?” Cas said. “There’s no way I can come for you like this.”

“I know. I go down there, it’s a one-way trip. But if it saves the world…”

“And… scene,” Crowley said, coming to them with a newspaper. Niveus Pharmaceuticals was going to be rushing delivery of the swine-flu vaccine.

It took Dean a minute, but then he remembered. “Brady. He worked there.”

“VP of distribution,” Crowley said.

“Step one: start the swine flu epidemic. Step two: vaccine,” Dean said.

“Simultaneous, countrywide distribution. Clever plan,” Sam had to admit. “Next Wednesday?”

“And Thursday: the zombie apocalypse,” Crowley said. “Good luck, boys.” He disappeared.

“All right, then. We gotta split up,” Dean said. “You’re gonna need manpower to stop the zombie apocalypse, so you take Ellen and Cas, I’ll go after Death on my own.”

“You sure? Cas was really useful backup against Pestilence,” Sam said.

Cas shook his head. “I managed it once, but I’m not sure I could do it again. Besides, I know Death, somewhat, and I think Dean will be fine. If he can manage to curb his tongue and not piss him off too badly.”

“Huh. Okay. Let’s go tell Bobby and Ellen.”

 

Last of the gear loaded, Sam found Dean. “Good luck killing Death.”

“Thanks. Good luck with the zombie apocalypse.”

“Yeah. Hey…” Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the knife. “You might need this.”

“Keep it,” Crowley said, holding out a small sickle. “I brought one. Death’s own, according to legend. Kills demons, angels, reapers… even the guy himself. According to legend.”

“And the Colt killed everything,” Sam said. “Dean?”

Dean shrugged. “He came through with Brady, and he’s got just as much to lose as I do.”

Cas looked over. “It will be sufficient,” he said. “It’s the real thing, at least. If it doesn’t work, your knife wouldn’t either.”

“All right,” Sam said, putting the knife away. “Good luck. Again.” He leaned forward to kiss Dean’s cheek.

"Good luck," Bobby said.

Crowley turned. "What, you're just going to sit there?" After a bit of back and forth, Bobby stood up. His legs worked just fine. Crowley smirked. "Humans."

 

On the way to the distribution center, Cas spoke up. “Sam. Your plan.”

Sam chuckled. “Go ahead. Tell me it’s the worst plan you’ve ever heard. Everyone else has.”

“Of course I’ll tell you that if it’s what you want to hear, but I disagree. It could work. Every time I’ve doubted you or your brother before, you’ve both come through. I see no reason to believe you couldn’t do it one more time.”

Sam turned around to look at Cas. “You really think so?”

“Yes. But there are things you need to know. Michael has found a vessel. It’s not Dean, but…”

Sam sighed. “Adam. Yeah, we figured. Didn’t want to believe it, but… it made too much sense to ignore. So if I fail, the fight happens.”

“Yes. And the collateral… will be immense. There’s also the demon blood.”

“What? Why?” That was something Sam hadn’t considered.

“It strengthens the vessel. The more you drink, the better chance you’ll have. To overcome Lucifer… it would be more than you’ve ever drunk before. More than one demon drained. I don’t even know if my blood would help you anymore, even if I could give you enough, so it will have to be demon. Nick is drinking gallons, daily, just to keep from exploding.”

“And how is that not the worst plan you’ve ever heard?” Bobby asked.

“Because I’ve heard Zachariah’s plans. Michael’s plans. God’s plans. I don’t like Sam’s plan, but if it can prevent the Apocalypse, then I’m willing to go along with it. Sam, if this is truly what you want to do, I’ll help however I can.”

“Dean’s not going to like that.”

Cas smiled, just a little. “You let me worry about Dean. I’m the one who may have to live with him afterwards.”

 

When they got there, the trucks were loading. The first truck wasn’t due to leave for an hour, but just after Bobby said that, the first truck started leaving. Improvising quickly, Cas took out the truck driver and smashed the gate controls. Bobby and Sam headed for the building. In addition to the demons, there were Croatoan zombies… and still people. Sam took off after the people, while Bobby and Ellen held the doors.

Sam had just gotten the last person out when a Croat got him and started to strangle him. He looked up in incomprehension when its head exploded, until he saw Cas standing there with a sawed-off shotgun. “Huh. I guess these things can be useful,” Cas said as he helped Sam up.

 

“Hey, we should stop for pizza,” Crowley said when they touched down. Dean gave him the unamused face. “Okay, fine. Up ahead. Big, ugly building. He’s in there.” Crowley left and came right back. “Or not. Boy, is my face red.”

“Okay, so where is he?” Dean snapped.

“Don’t know. Signs pointed. I’m just as shocked as you, really,” Crowley said. “Don’t worry, I’ll find the next doomed city, we’ll catch him there.”

“Millions of people are gonna die any minute!” Dean yelled. He should’ve known Crowley wouldn’t care. They got back to the car, where Dean tried to think of something that would get everyone out of Chicago as quickly as possible. Crowley was no help.

But then, Crowley reappeared. “Found him. Told you we should stop for pizza – he did.” Dean looked across the street at the pizzeria. This was just too weird. But Crowley was gone when he looked back, so Dean headed over.

There was only one person still sitting upright in the pizzeria, so Dean tried to move carefully to get close enough to strike. Unfortunately, as he got close, the sickle began to rattle and heat up, and he dropped it. Next thing he knew, it was on Death’s table. “Thanks for returning that. Join me, Dean. The pizza’s delicious.”

Dean sat. “Is this the part where you… kill me?”

Death just looked at him. “Imagine how you’d feel if one little bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky.” Death went on to impress on him just how unimportant he really was. Then Death gave him a piece of the pizza and told him to eat.

After a bit of chit-chat about reaping God, Dean finally had to ask. “Why am I still breathing? What do you want?”

“The leash around my neck, off. The other Horsemen, they were created. But Lucifer bound me to him, made me his weapon. He sends me where he wants, when he wants, or I would have gone to you. I’m more powerful than you can process, and I’m enslaved to a bratty child having a temper tantrum. Now. I understand you want this.” Death held up his ring. “I’m inclined to give it to you.”

“You… what about Chicago?” Dean asked.

“I suppose it can stay. I like the pizza.” Death slipped off the ring and held it out to Dean. “There are conditions. You have to do whatever it takes to put Lucifer back in his Cage. There is one way that happens. Your brother can do it. No one else can. So I need your promise that you’re going to let him.”

Dean’s mouth went dry. They needed the ring, but how could he promise Death that he’d let his brother jump? The thought of Sammy, trapped in the Cage forever, that terrified him. And Sam… it was Sam’s idea. Sam knew the consequences. It would save the world. Dean would just have to find a way to live in it without Sam.

It was too much. He couldn’t do it. But he held out his hand anyway. “Yes. You have my word.” The second Death dropped the ring in his hand, the storm outside vanished. Death kept him to go over the instruction manual.


	22. The End of Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've got a plan. Sam jumps into the pit, and takes Lucifer with him. It's not a good plan, but it is *a* plan.

Back at Bobby’s, Ellen came out to find him playing with the rings. “So Crowley came through. Again. Never thought I’d trust a demon.”

Dean still wondered how that was gonna come back and bite them in the ass, but they had bigger problems. “What do you think Death does to people who lie to his face?”

“What’d you tell him?”

Dean picked up the beer. “That I’d let Sam drive the bus on the go back to Hell trip.”

“Death thinks Sam should say yes?”

Dean scoffed. “Consider who he works for. What, don’t tell me you’re for it now.”

Bobby shrugged and took a seat. “Dean, your brother is strong. Stronger than we give him credit for. He’s our best shot. Hell, maybe our only shot. You know your brother better than anyone. You know all the good in him, all the stubborn. So I gotta ask: which are you more afraid of? Losing, or losing your brother?”

That wasn’t a question. There was no way Bobby didn’t know the answer to that. He knew Sam was strong enough, that his brother could pull this off. It wasn’t a guarantee, but he could. But then what? Sam’s in the Cage, trapped with Lucifer? How was that fair? Save the world, have an eternity of torment?

So his heart was heavy as he went to find Sam. On the way, he ran into Cas and sent him out hunting demons. Cas had looked startled, but he was a smart guy. He knew why Dean would want demons brought in alive.

Sam was sitting on the hood of the Impala. Dean wondered if this would have been part of Sam’s Heaven, the two of them lying there watching the stars. Now that he wasn’t so messed up, he knew that Sam’s memories in Heaven weren’t all there was, that Zachariah had been messing with them and trying to get Dean to isolate himself, lose what little support he had left.

It took a couple tries and some prompting from Sam, but he finally managed to say, “I’m in. Your plan, it’s the only one we got. So, I’m in.”

“Really? You’re going to let me say yes?” Sam swung his legs off the Impala, looking at Dean in shock.

“No, I’m not. This goes against every fiber I got, but this ain’t my call. It’s yours. And if this is really what you want… I’ll back your play,” Dean said.

“Wow. I never thought you’d say that,” Sam said.

Dean huffed. “You think I ever thought I would? I lied to Death’s face, man. Told him I was okay with this, and I’m not. But I promised to let you grow up, and I hate breaking promises to you, man. Did that a few times too often when you were a kid. You know, I told you this once before, but you were dead at the time. Ever since we were little, it was like I had one job. Dad never had to tell me. Watch out for Sammy. Take care of your little brother. That was my job, but more than that. That’s who I am. I’m the guy who looks out for his brother. But you don’t need that anymore. So maybe it’s time I grow up too.” Sam’s eyes were misting up. “So if this is really what you want… is this really what you want?”

“Hell no,” Sam said. “You think I want to do this? I’m scared, Dean. This is… I’m talking about overpowering a freaking archangel. And even if I win, it’s going to suck. So no, this is not what I want. But I let him out. I think I have to be the one to shove his ass back in, and this is the only way I can think of that has even a snowball’s chance.”

 

Bobby tracked omens while Sam, Dean, and Cas drained demons. Sam recoiled every time they put the cap on another gallon of blood. Somehow, he was going to have to drink all of this. Famine had said he wouldn’t die from drinking too much, but that wasn’t what Sam was worried about. He remembered how changed he had been when he powered up on Ruby. How cold, uncaring. This was way more than that. The thought that this was how he was going to go out, the last Dean and Cas would see of him, that was hitting him hard.

When he’d proposed the idea, he figured Dean would never let him do it. Even though he knew it would work, that it’s what had to happen, somehow he’d never really thought he’d be here. Staring down blood, agreeing to give his body to Lucifer in the hopes that his mind could be stronger, just for the minute or so it would take to jump.

Dean pinpointed Detroit as where Lucifer would be as soon as Bobby mentioned the odd temperature drop around Motown. “How do you know?” Sam asked as they drove. “As omens go, that’s…”

Cas looked thoughtful. “Lucifer runs cold. It makes sense.”

“Remember when Zachariah sent me to the future to try to make me say yes?” Dean asked. Sam nodded. “There are things I didn’t tell you. I met Lucifer there, and he told me that this showdown would always happen. It didn’t matter what details we changed, you’d meet him in Detroit, and you would say yes there.”

“So you saw me. Lucifer-me, but me. You told me you didn’t know what happened to me,” Sam said.

“Because I was gonna make sure that never happened in our timeline,” Dean snapped. “And yet, here we are, heading for Detroit so you can say yes. I don’t like it. It feels like Lucifer’s rolling out the red carpet for us.”

“Gabriel said he doesn’t know about the rings,” Castiel said. “So it doesn’t matter if he expects us. It’s not like Sam could keep the plan a secret when Lucifer takes hold of him. Everything Sam knows, Lucifer will.”

Sam swallowed hard. “It doesn’t matter. He’s Lucifer. He’s got too much pride to believe I can do it, so even if he knows what I’m gonna do, it won’t stop him from playing his part in the plan. It’s not like I was counting on surprise to win the fight.” Sam looked between Cas and Dean. “Hey, uh, while we’re on the subject… you guys know I’m not coming back, right? This thing goes wrong, I’m at least gonna do what I can to sabotage Lucifer. Apocalypse happens, better Michael than Lucifer, you know? But if it goes our way, and I triple Lindy into that box… I’m not coming back. This is a one-way trip.”

“Yeah, we know,” Dean said.

“And you guys… you can’t try to bring me back,” Sam said. “Once that box seals, you can’t go poking at it, because we cannot risk setting Lucifer free again. I don’t… I can’t do this if it’s just going to be undone three months later. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“What? No! I did not sign up for this,” Dean said.

“I promise, Sam,” Cas said. He reached up and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean, Sam’s right. We can’t risk the Cage.”

“We can’t… his trip’s gonna make my tour look like Graceland!” Dean said. “And I’m just supposed to leave him there?”

“Yes,” Sam said. “Dean, we cannot let Lucifer free. And how do you think you’re going to open the cage enough to get me out without letting him out too?”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Dean asked.

“You and Cas find somewhere and settle down. If something happens to Cas, you go to Lisa, pray she’s dumb enough to take you in. Have barbecues, go to football games. Go live some normal, apple-pie life. And when you think of me, don’t remember this part. Remember the good times. Tell your friends about the little brother who worshipped you, make up some story about me dying in Iraq to save a bunch of lives. I know it’s hard, Dean, I’ve been in your shoes. And I didn’t have Cas to help me. But you gotta promise me you’ll find a way to let go.”

“You didn’t,” Dean snarled.

“And look where that got us,” Sam said. “If I’d let you go, Cas would still have brought you back, you’d still have been a Righteous Man spilling blood in Hell. Lilith would have started on the seals. But you’d have come back to something very different. And maybe – just maybe – we wouldn’t have ended up here.”

“Dean, listen to Sam,” Cas said. “Please.”

Dean didn’t answer, not in words. But Sam knew his brother, and he could see the torture Dean was in. Hell might have taught Dean a lot about how to torture others, but he’d been honing his instincts on torturing himself since he was a kid. Dean was agreeing. He was going to let Sam go.

 

It didn’t take long to find the right place in Detroit. Sam stared at the jugs of blood Cas had opened for him. Then he turned and walked away, heading for the others. “Guys, in a couple minutes, I’m going to be a colossal asshat. The blood changes me, we all know that. So I want to do this now. Thank you for believing in me. Ellen, this one’s for Jo.”

“For Jo. For Bill. For John and Mary. For Jess. For all the other friends and family we lost along the way, for the innocent lives we couldn’t save,” Ellen said, hugging Sam. “Kick it in the ass, Sam.”

“Yes, ma’am. Bobby…”

Bobby stepped forward and gave Sam a hug. “You let him in, you fight him, boy. Never thought much of how your daddy raised you, but maybe, just maybe, he taught you exactly what you needed to know. You got your daddy’s stubborn streak, Sam. So draw on it. Don’t give an inch. Keep swinging.”

“Yes, sir,” Sam said, fighting back the tears as he turned to Cas. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say here. Cas, you… I don’t know if I could have done this if you’d listened to me and ignored my prayer that night, after Alastair. I know why it can’t, but I wish it could be your blood powering me in this fight. I love you, so much, and I’m so sorry to do this to you.”

“Sam… you will have my blood,” Cas said. “Not much, not enough to cause problems for you if you tap into your powers to fight Lucifer, but it will be there. That's why I insisted on opening the jugs for you.” He held out his arm, and Sam could see the fresh slice across his wrist. “Dean told me that your mother used to say angels watched over the two of you. It has been one of the greatest honors of my life to prove her right, these last two years.”

Sam chuckled softly. “Thanks, Cas.” He wrapped his arms around his angel, letting himself hold on to his dreams of Heaven one last time. Finally it was Dean’s turn.

“I’m not doing this,” Dean said, pulling Sam into a hug. “Never been one for chick flick moments, why start now?”

Sam laughed. “Fair enough. You’re not gonna stop me from saying I love you, though.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, bitch,” Dean said, slapping the back of Sam’s head as he pulled away.

“Jerk.” Sam headed back to the car and the blood. He hated himself for the fact that by the time he picked up the second jug, he wasn’t choking anymore. He wanted it. He was disappointed when he drained the last of it – he wanted more. He always wanted more.

 

Dean couldn’t watch as his brother turned himself into a monster. Sam was doing what he had to do, and Dean knew it. Didn’t mean he had to watch. When Sam came over, Dean knew the brother he loved was gone. He’d never see him again. He was actually kind of grateful for the fact that Sam was high on demon blood, though, because it was going to be a lot easier to watch this asshole let Lucifer take him than it would have been to watch his brother.

The plan was simple. Sam walked over to the building and shouted. “Come and get me, you sons of bitches!” Simple worked, as the five of them were hauled before Lucifer.

“Help me understand something, guys. I mean, strolling through my front door… tad suicidal, don’t you think?” Lucifer said.

Dean closed his eyes as Sam spoke. “We’re not here to fight you. I’m here because I wanna say yes.” He exploded the demons’ heads. “Judgment Day’s a runaway train. We get it. We want off. But when it’s all over… I live. He lives. Cas and Bobby and Ellen.”

“Can we drop the telenovela? I know you have the rings, Sam,” Lucifer said. Sam tried to play it off, but Lucifer knew. Well, like Cas had said. They weren’t gonna keep it secret once Sam was possessed. “Hey, I’m not mad. I like the idea. A wrestling match inside your noggin, just you and me, one round, no tricks? You win, you jump in the hole. I win… well, then I win. What do you say, Sam?”

It was all Dean could do to hold himself back. Sam had chosen this. It still felt like a knife to the heart when Sam said, “Yes.” There was a flash of blinding light, and then Sam was on the ground. Cas knelt to check on him. Bobby just nodded to Dean. It was time. Dean pulled the rings and started the Enochian chant to open the Cage.

Cas got Sam to his feet. “Sammy?” Sam nodded. “Come on, Sammy, you gotta go. Now. Go!”

Sam walked to the hole in the wall. He hesitated, and then turned around. When he put his hands together, Dean knew. He didn’t need to hear it when Lucifer said, “I was just messing with you.” Lucifer closed the portal and tucked the rings into a pocket. “I told you, Dean. It was always Detroit.” Then he was gone.

They went back outside, where they found TVs reporting massive natural disasters. “It’s starting,” Cas said.

“Great. What do we do?” Dean asked.

“I suggest imbibing copious quantities of alcohol, then finding somewhere to hunker down and hope we can ride out the inevitable blast wave,” Cas said. “If Sam couldn’t… if he can’t… then there’s nothing left we can do.”

“We are not giving up!” Dean shouted. But Bobby and Ellen both looked defeated. It was not a good look for them, and Dean wasn’t having it. “Fine. Let’s focus on what we can do. Cas, where’s this showdown gonna happen?”

“Stull Cemetery. In Kansas. You want to be there.”

“Hell yeah I wanna be there,” Dean said. “This ain’t over yet. Least we can do is be there to witness. I was willing to let my brother dive into the Cage, but I am not gonna let him die alone. Let’s get moving.”

 

Sam knew that anger wasn’t the way to beat Lucifer. But right now, rage was all that was keeping him going. Finding out just how long Azazel had been messing with his life, keeping tabs on him, wasn’t helping. Lucifer probably knew it, too. A small part of him made a note that if he got the chance, he was going to tell Dean that he slept with a demon too – turns out his prom date was one of Azazel’s demons, keeping an eye on him.

When they reached the cemetery, Sam knew that all the comparisons were wrong. He could feel what Lucifer felt when Michael showed up, and maybe once Lucifer and Michael had been the way Sam and Dean were, but not now. Sure, there was still love there, a very powerful love, but the anger that ran through it was so strong. Lucifer had never forgiven Michael.

Lucifer knew Michael wouldn’t accept. He knew exactly what Michael was going to say. But he had to try, and Sam understood perfectly. A part of him wondered, if Dean had been there instead of Adam, if maybe things could have been different. If the love he and Dean had for each other could have bled through somehow, overpowered the anger. A larger part of him was just grateful that it wasn’t Dean he was staring down, it wasn’t Dean he’d be watching his body do his absolute best to kill.

And then he heard it. A familiar engine rumble. He laughed when he heard “Gunter glieben glauchen globen.” Dean had come. Dean was here. No one else had come, but Dean hadn’t given up. Sam set to work. Lucifer had him locked down tight, but Lucifer was distracted now.

Not that Sam was immune. “Ass-butt”? Really, Castiel? Sam surged up, but he wasn’t fast enough. He couldn’t get control as Lucifer snapped his fingers. Sam watched Castiel explode. Rage filled him again, and he fought Lucifer. He couldn’t stop Lucifer from snapping Bobby’s neck, choking the life out of Ellen. Couldn’t stop Lucifer from beating the crap out of Dean.

“Sam, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not gonna leave you,” Dean said. Lucifer just kept pounding. The more Dean talked, the harder Lucifer hit.

A beam of sunlight hit the window of the Impala, and Sam saw an army man stuck in an ashtray. Suddenly, he knew. He let go of his rage, let the memories flood over him. Rage wasn’t how you beat Lucifer. Rage wasn’t the only thing that made him strong. He let Dean’s voice wash over him. He reached for his powers, waiting for a familiar feel. A strong feel. A clean feel. Castiel’s blood, Dean’s voice, his own strength. That was how he’d beat the devil.

“It’s okay, Dean. It’s gonna be okay. I’ve got him.”

 

Even through the pain, the words broke Dean’s heart. He knew what was going to happen next, and it was the worst thing he could imagine. Until it got worse, and Adam showed back up. Michael tried to talk Sam out of jumping, into fighting him, but Sam met Dean’s eyes. Dean knew he wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t give in. Not this time. He started leaning back.

Michael ran forward, grabbing hold. Michael might be an archangel, but Sam was bigger, had Lucifer’s strength behind him, and the world was on the line. Sam grabbed back and pulled Michael down with him.

Then there was sound again. Unexpected sound. Castiel’s voice, chanting something in Enochian. There was a flare from the hole, and something flew out. It was gone before Dean could figure out what, and then the hole closed in on itself.

“Cas, you’re alive?”

“I’m better than that,” Cas said. He reached out and brushed a hand down Dean’s cheek. His wounds evaporated. “My grace is restored. More than that, my grace is… I’m stronger now than I was before. A higher rank of angel.”

“Cas, are you God?” Dean asked. It was the only thing he could think to say.

Cas laughed. “No. That sounds like a terrible idea. I’d probably break the world.” Cas went over to Bobby and Ellen, bringing them back to life.

“What did you do?” Dean asked. “That spell, you did something. What was it?”

Cas stared at the ground where Sam and Adam had vanished. “It was an exorcism. Of sorts. We promised not to save Sam once he was in the Cage, but we never promised not to stop him from going in.”

“What?”

“I had a feeling it was going to end here, not in Detroit. I was right,” Castiel said. “I had a plan. Once Lucifer was in freefall, there was a very short window where I could save Sam, by ripping his soul out of his body. The body, I can recreate. I didn’t hit the window exactly, or Sam would be here, but I was close enough that I know Sam’s not in the Cage.”

“Then where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Cas admitted. “Hell, most likely. But I’m an angel again. Michael’s gone. I can round up friends, and we will scour Heaven and Hell both until we find him.”

“What about Adam?” Dean asked.

Cas smiled. “You heard Michael. Adam wasn’t in the building. Michael reaped Adam, put him back in Heaven. With his mom.”

“Well, that’s good news, at least,” Dean said. “You’re on the search for Sam? You sure your buddies will help you? I mean, aren’t you kinda…”

“Well, I am back from the dead. There are only two beings who could have done that – God, or Raphael. Raphael hates me. So it had to be God. God doesn’t do things without a reason, so enough angels will follow me. We will search, we will find him, and we will bring him back to you.”

“I can’t just sit around and wait, Cas. How can I help?” Dean asked.

Cas sighed. “Dean, I would take you to Hell with me if I could. You know that. But I can’t. I can’t take you to Heaven, either, not without killing you and having to bring you back again, and even then you couldn’t wander around looking for Sam. So go… save people. Hunt things. Keep the family business going for me to bring Sam to when I find him.”

“Cas…”

“Dean, I’m a seraph, not an archangel, not God,” Cas said. “I may be stronger, but I’m still limited. Just have faith in me. Please.”

“Come on, Dean, you still got family to go to,” Ellen said. “We’ll keep you movin’ till your angel can bring your brother back home.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. But Cas… find him quick, you know I ain’t gonna sleep well until I know he’s not on the rack or worse. Please.”

“Of course. I’ll be back. With Sam.” And Castiel was gone.

“Come on, son,” Bobby said. “I’d kinda hoped for a vacation after the Apocalypse, but looks like we still got work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's come on this journey. Don't freak out too much about the chapter title: I do plan on continuing this into season six, with, obviously, some pretty major differences between my world and canon. I don't know when it'll go up, as I'm gonna need to rewatch season six and I kind of hate doing that.
> 
> It's been a little over a year since I first started publishing this, and once again, I apologize for the nine-month break. I love you all. So much. <3

**Author's Note:**

> I knew when I started working on this that it was gonna be a bit of a challenge - so much of season 5 was informed by the rift Ruby caused between Sam and Dean. Blood-bonded was a bit Sam/Cas-centric; Soul-bonded is, as you might expect, a bit Dean/Sam centric. I'm still waffling a bit on what I'm going to do with season 6, but whatever I end up doing, it'll end up Dean/Cas centric.
> 
> Comments and kudos are wonderful things!


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